Evil Editor's Blog, page 449

Evil Vs. Good 2

"Here's a scintillating opening line." Evil-EE read aloud; "We come from the farm, reeking and stinking of shanty Irish, a family of drinking fools unable to express any emotion except anger. Sounds like multisyllabic, metaphysical lit-fic. All beefy smell and no beefy substance."

"More playwright Eugene than Styronic smell of roses from the south," Good-EE tossed the manuscript like a hot potato. The shredder howled, tornado-like. They read another manuscript. "OH MY Holy Roller! How about openi

Evil Vs. Good 1

“Jeez. What a bunch of crap.”

“A bunch, mayhap — but does not this florid assemblage speak of a special kinship? A symbiotic union of souls as words embrace each other into paragraphs?”

“Crap. I said crap, right?”

“Ah! The inevitable cascade of life’s gay splendour ingested, offered anew like a phoenix of fertility, rising o’er—”

“It’s Zombies in post-Apocalypse Connecticut, you prissy fop. I musta read that one like a thousand freakin’ times.

“In truth, it was 997.”

“OK. Bad analogy. Here’s a nickel.

Saturday Film Series

Time once again to poke your head into Evil Editor's Shorts.




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Guess the Title

Below are descriptions (taken from BN.com) of eight published books in the category "food memoir." Your job is to guess which is the book's actual title.


1. From failure to fusilli, this deliciously hilarious read tells the story of the author's fizzled romances and the mouth-watering recipes she used to seduce her men, smooth over the lumps, and console herself when the relationships flamed out.

Out of the Frying Pan and into the Boudoir
I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti
Eating my Way to Happiness
I

New Beginning 639

Shit, last cigarette. Wonder if the CVS on 8th and E is still open… As I flick the butt into the gutter, the realization of how screwed I am hits me. Of course, there’s no one but myself to blame for this. Once again waiting for a miracle, and when it didn’t happen, I act surprised. As if this hasn’t happened before…or rather, as if I hadn’t laid the groundwork to set myself up for this before now. “The definition of crazy is going through the same actions and expecting different results.” That’

Cartoon 386

Caption: D. Lemma

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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Welcome, Newbies

I've noticed a lot of new names among the minions of late, and many are having a bit of trouble navigating the Evil Editor world. So . . .

You are, of course, welcome to just come here and enjoy each day's posts. However, you may also participate in the blog in many ways:

1. Submit your query letter, your opening, or your synopsis. You'll get feedback from the brilliant Evil Minions.

2. Comment on other people's stuff, thus earning a reputation as one of the brilliant Evil Minions.

3. Write a contin

Writing Exercise

Thanks to a rip in the space- time continuum, Good Editor and Evil Editor find themselves in the same universe in the same office discussing the same manuscript. Write the scene, keeping in mind that both characters are famous for their bad analogies. 300 words max, Deadline Sunday, 10 AM eastern. Submit as a comment to this post. Include a name if you want credit.
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Face-Lift 631

Guess the Plot

Star Child

1. Susan's had a rough pregnancy so far, and the worst may be yet to come. How will she handle learning that her precious newborn is a ball of flaming hydrogen and helium?

2. Jessie can usually see things coming, but she never anticipated the elderly woman arriving on her doorstep on her 21st birthday asking if she's "come into the family magic yet." Seems her birth parents weren't exactly what she thought.

3. High school student Jenna Baker is proclaimed to be the prophesi

Cartoon 385

Caption: Evil Editor

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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