Evil Editor's Blog, page 436

Face-Lift 643

Guess the Plot

Don't Forget the Death Ray

1. A team of astronauts arrive in a new world, only to discover the atmosphere is full of poppy-gas that adversely affects their cognition and makes them vulnerable to kidnap by flying monkeys, green women, and singing midgets.

2. The ultimate reference work on how to write comic books. Includes invaluable advice like: Don't put an alien's third eye on the back of his head; Never make a spandex costume pink; and of course . . . Don't Forget the Death Ray.

3.

Cartoon 413

Caption: Whirlochre

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Feedback Request

The author of the book featured in Face-Lift 599 has a new version of the query. It's in the comments there, awaiting your input.

New Beginning 651

The black cane whapped against the counter in front of me and I dropped my bowl of cereal. At least it was sans milk.

“You’re next.” Marcus let the cane tip fall to the floor. “And you’re running out of time.”

I surveyed my older brother sitting there in his kitchen chair; acting like he ruled this family; and not apologizing one bit for the mess he created. “Marcus Willby, you are deranged.”

“Don’t call me that.” His lower lip pushed out beyond his wispy moustache. He shuttered his big brown eyes,

Cartoon 412

Caption: Whirlochre

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Book Chat

Saturday morning seemed to work well last time. Is Saturday the 27th okay with those planning to attend? The following Saturday is a holiday in the US.

Writing Exercise Results . . .

. . . are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene including four similes created through a process of randomness (somewhat).

Bad Analogies Scene 13

Evil adjusted his pince-nez and read aloud from Whirl’s notebook.

“Rising to its feet like a restless greenhouse on stilts, the forest giant surveyed the vista. Jeez, what the hell kinda line is that?”

“It’s my first bad analogy,” replied Whirl.

“You’re a goddam cheat,” said Evil, throwing up his hands. “These were supposed to be set in some sorta context.”

“Like a woeful washing machine spinning its load in a universe of dirty laundry?”

“Quit it, willya?”

“Hey — that’s not one of my remaining three.

Bad Analogies Scene 12

Round and round and round they went with it, out in the magic glen in the center of the recently found forest, wild and free and communally bad, like an epic girl tearing off her clothes in the spirit of togetherness, except the girl should have been gender neutral, not to mention, plural. And sensual, with the occasional shockerino thrown in for good measure, like a devious unicorn poking her (own and others)(communal) backside with a long white pole.

And if you were a traveler happening upon t

Bad Analogies Scene 11

Like a purple mockingbird mooning the Sunday morning congregation, Ed Bleeker dropped trou at the reception for Queen Elizabeth. The palace guards were on his tail immediately, and though Ed was an Olympic sprinter, the rains had left his getaway route as slow as a medieval highway drowning in a sea of honey. He veered toward the forest, covered in sweat and mud and honey; from a distance he looked two-dimensional, like a fetid photograph running through the woods. Then he got an idea. He stoppe