Evil Editor's Blog, page 432

Pope Interview 5

It was a dark and stormy Papacy, filled with the kind of interminable plagiarisms one would associate with a rotten little dog that should have been neutered long ago with a blunt instrument and no sort of anesthetic whatsoever; however, although castration does involve the genitals it does not involve the genitals in the sort of thing this Pope was involved in.

"A choirboy?"

"Yes," said the Cardinal, "but we've handled that kind of scandal before. We need a new Pope because everybody found out th

Pope Interview 4

"Hey, I wouldn't be the worst Pope ever," Evil stated, even though he knew in his heart of hearts that he probably would be, since his lack of conscience would allow him to tell all the whining masses - who thought that by going to church every Sunday they were somehow better than everyone else and had front row seats to heaven, even though they picked their noses when they were alone in their cars, and cheated on their income tax returns just like nonbelievers – that the whole 'heaven' t

Pope Interview 3

"My ass is as itchy as dry skin gets after a shower with lye soap and sandpaper and that skin scrub my wife uses," said Evil Editor to the Cardinal Cardinal in answer to the question "how are you today and why should you be pope," so, without pause for thought, Evil editor continued: "You see, I have hemorrhoids and I have this pillow I normally plop my ass on but my wife and her sister borrow it and I said you know where that's been right? To which she replied, "Your ass." My wife is my primary

Saturday Film Series

This screen is smaller than last time I embedded from Youtube; if it's still too wide, I'll replace it with a link.

Face-Lift 650

Guess the Plot
Hang the Thief
1. Fong the Assassin, Peng the Counterfeiter, Chung the Procurer and Ling the Literary Agent already control four-fifths of organized crime in ancient China. Can they recruit the one man they need to make their underworld empire complete?

2. Vingh Pho came to America to start a new life for his family, but after the store he worked so hard to open is robbed by a local teen, he is willing to risk his own freedom to see justice served.

3. Mr. Wong stole her heart. He wrec

Cartoon 420

Caption: Mother (Re)produces

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

New Beginning 655

Waurubr T'Saurakil, Consul to Earth of the Third Kimust Empire and captain of the Gaia-class space ship Daughter of Nausk, shook with rage as he gave the order to open fire. 'This is for Hamari,' he thundered through his side-mouth, as the first of the electromagnetic pulse devices detonated three thousand kilometres above the surface of the planet below. 'And this is for Tureni', as, ten milliseconds later, the anti-proton particle cannons - carried by autonomous micro-scout craft in higher orb

Writing Exercise

We received two suggestions for writing exercises in the comments this week: that we do our own version of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, and that we do a scene in which Evil Editor tries to convince the College of Cardinals that he should be the next pope. So let's kill two birds (cardinals?) with one stone. Write the pope scene, which can be EE's monologue or a dialogue with the head cardinal (the cardinal cardinal). But the first sentence of your scene must be a sentence bad enough to pla

Cartoon 419

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Face-Lift 649

Guess the Plot

Cyborg Harrow

1. For years Cyborgs had been quietly integrated into society. Now they're being terminated, their parts recycled for scrap metal--and the cyborg running the program doesn't know he's one himself.

2. When Steve Harrow wakes to find a psychopathic killer and a cop in his bedroom, he convinces them to settle their differences by playing video games while encased in rubber costumes. But Harrow's handler, General Ascot, has other ideas for the killer and the cop. He wants t