Edward Hoornaert's Blog, page 50
November 25, 2017
Effing Feline Cringes
I, Effing Feline, have gotten interested in tracking down my ancestors, and I’ve discovered some cats who are worthy of my bloodline — well as some who are NOT. Clearly, my ancestors must not only have superior intelligence but also je ne sais quoi. That’s Cattish for dignity and gravitas. At the end of this blog post, I’ll show you a few clownish cats who could not possibly be my kin.
But first, another snippet from a December 4 sci fi romance by Ed, my pet human: Rescuing Prince Charming. Last week, tech writer Dusty Johnson shocked herself by searching for a saboteur’s time bomb in the belly of a half-built starship. The bomb is set to go off in mere minutes. After searching fruitlessly, Dusty finds a lone guard, an alien human, who is also searching for the bomb. She speaks first — and shows that she has quite a mouth when she’s under intense pressure.
“Is that the bomb?”
“I think so.”
“You think so? What kind of bomb disposal expert are you?”
Shaking his head, he stared at the box and scowled. “Expert?”
Dusty’s eyes went wide. “You don’t know bomb disposal, yet you removed the lid? That could’ve set it off, you stupid idiot.” She’d done the same thing when she opened the lunch-pail lid, but that was different…somehow.
Effing Feline here again. I promised pictures of some cats who simply canNOT be part of my noble bloodline. Look at these shameless felines and cringe!
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If you can stomach it, click the pics for larger version. How crass! How unfeline! When you’re done screaming in horror, be sure to visit the other writers in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.
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Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four
Available December 4
Low introductory price
She’s no heroine. He’s no Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
November 23, 2017
Synonyms for chaos #mfrwauthor
Before I get down to business, I’d like to wish everyone in the States a Happy Thanksgiving. My daughter has to work on Thursday, after which her family will go to the in-laws, so we’re having our feast on Friday.
And now, here’s the Marketing for Romance Writers yearlong blog hop. For week 47, the writing prompt is:
My Writing Space
[image error]My office nook deserves the title ‘chaos’ and all the synonyms for chaos that Word can suggest:
Disorder
Confusion
Bedlam
Anarchy
Pandemonium
Disarray
Madness
Mess
Unruliness
Although I’m generally a moderately neat person, for some reason neatness doesn’t extend to my writing work space. Perhaps I should use Word to find synonyms for “slob,” but I’ll leave you to do that and imagine the worst.
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At least I have great artwork on the wall, though my wife doesn’t necessarily think so. She doesn’t share my love of Northwest Coast Indian art.
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My interest in Northwest Coast Indian art is felt in my Alien Contact for Idiots series and its soon-to-be-released fourth book, Rescuing Prince Charming. The hero is a northwest coast Indian (or First Nations person/Native American, if you prefer) from the future.
What about you?
Is your office neater than mine? Be sure to check out the working spaces of the other writers taking part in this blog hop.
November 21, 2017
Rescuing Prince Charming cover #mfrwbookbooks
Welcome to the Marketing for Romance Writers blog hop, Book Hooks. Writers share a short snippet of their works to entice you.
I’m highlight Rescuing Prince Charming, a science fiction romance releasing December 4 and available now for pre-order. Three weeks I gave you the back-cover blurb, and two weeks ago you got the opening of the book. Today, I’m proud to present the front cover, which was revealed just yesterday and is rerevealed here.
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Since this is book 4 set in the Alien Contact for Idiots “universe” the cover shares the sun rising over the Earth image with the other books. The Earth is overlain by a small piece of northwest coast Indian art — in this case, an eagle. This is appropriate because the hero is a northwest coast Indian (or First Nations person/Native American, if you prefer) — from the future.
Danielle Fine, my editor and cover artist, did her usual excellent job. Thanks, Dani!
Be sure to check out the book hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop.
November 20, 2017
Cover Reveal: Rescuing Prince Charming
At last, after months of a placeholder, here’s the real cover of Rescuing Prince Charming. This science fiction romance releases December 4, 2017, but it’s available now for pre-order.
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Director’s Commentary (just like on DVDs!)
[image error]Since this is the fourth book in the Alien Contact for Idiots “universe,” the cover shares the sunrise over Earth image with the other books. This tells readers there’s science fiction inside. The hunky guy, of course, proclaims there’s romance. But then you already knew that.
[image error]The Earth is overlain by a small piece of northwest coast Indian art — in this case, an eagle. The hero is a northwest coast Indian (or First Nations person/Native American, if you prefer) from the future. I love Northwest art.
I’ve incorporated the cover’s clothing into Chapter Sixteen:
[image error]Footsteps drew Dusty’s attention to the right, where the lane rounded the corner of her house. She flattened against the stone wall, edged to the corner, and peered around it.
It was just Reese — not a shapeshifter — returning from the automatic tailor in charcoal-grey slacks, a heavenly-blue t-shirt, and boots of the type known as Sturdies. Nothing about him proclaimed royalty. She admired his lack of pretension. And his biceps.
Danielle Fine, the editor and cover artist, did her usual excellent job. Thanks, Dani!
Rescuing Prince Charming – In The Beginning
Time: Four years from tomorrow.
Place: A top-secret, underground facility on a Pacific Northwest island that doesn’t exist…yet.
* * * *
Dusty Johnson really didn’t want to do this.
She took a deep breath, trying without success to dispel the dread clogging her belly. Some women daydreamed of rescuing princes from dragons. Not her.
Yet here she was, all alone, creeping through the dark guts of the half-built starship, searching for a time bomb about to explode. If the siren ordering evacuation of the research facility had summoned the expected herd of guards, she would’ve offered advice then fled with the rest of the staff. Having come this far, though, she couldn’t leave without branding herself a coward in her own eyes.
And so Dusty wove her way timidly around machinery that smelled of oil and ozone. Nothing was neat and tidy down here; in a prototype, speed and ingenuity trumped meticulous design. Everything was makeshift, a giant kludge sprawling through three-thousand cubic yards. That meant a lot of places for saboteurs to hide a bomb, but only two where technicians wouldn’t discover it in the course of a workday.
The first hiding place was a niche behind the backup life support nexus. Staring into its shadows, she paused. A heroine wouldn’t hesitate, but an ordinary, everyday woman would think twice about squeezing into a dirty cranny while wearing a new, cream-colored chambray skirt with filigree trim.
Maybe she should just walk away.
Or run.
But there was no one else around to save the ship, and reaching the stars was her dream.
Want more? Read chapter one.
Rescue your own Prince Charming
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Apple iTunes
Kobo Books
Smashwords
November 18, 2017
Effing Feline resembles a clarinet
[image error]I, Effing Feline, have gotten interested in tracking down my ancestors, and I’ve discovered some cats who are worthy of my bloodline. Today’s ancestor comes from the Russian Blue line of the family, though I can’t recall any contact with President Trump’s campaign. It’s the cat from Peter and the Wolf. The music is by Prokofiev, who is the favorite composer of my pet human, Ed.
Now, another snippet from an upcoming sci fi romance by my pet human: Rescuing Prince Charming. Last week, tech writer Dusty Johnson shocked herself by searching for a saboteur’s time bomb in the belly of a half-built starship. The bomb is set to go off in mere minutes.
Only one Kwadran (they’re aliens from the future) dares to help her dispose of the bomb. In this scene they’ve found the bomb and are racing to toss it in the ocean. But a slip of the tongue causes an unexpected delay, and a delay is the last thing she wants. Because the bomb is ticking.
“Time?”
“Seventy-eight seconds.”
Oh, God, it was still a long way to the doors. She tried to be a heroine and what did she get? A ticking time bomb eager to remove her appendix.
On the bright side, she couldn’t have asked for a sexier, more valiant companion on that long tunnel into the light. Rattled by fear, she’d called him arrogant, a jerk, an idiot, and a moron, but he was none of those. Well, maybe arrogant; he was, after all, Kwadran.
When he reached the sliding doors, he yanked the handle.
Nothing happened except, of course, that a few more seconds ticked off the bomb’s timer . . . and her life.
Effing Feline here again. If you aren’t familiar with the cat’s music, as played by the clarinet, here it is.
Be sure to visit the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday authors.
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Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four
Available December 4
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
November 17, 2017
Nice Words about Newborn
Just a quick post today to share a great magazine review of my science fiction romance, Newborn, that I received today. Here are some highlights:
This tense science fiction thriller is a delightful surprise from beginning to end.
The characters are beautifully layered and complex, and the love story is romantic in the best sense of the word.
Overall this is an original and well-told tale that merges the elements of science fiction, thriller and romance wonderfully.
— Ind’Tale Magazine, November 2017
[image error]Newborn garnered an elite Crowned Heart Review in the November issue of InD’Tale magazine. Books that get 4.5 or 5 star reviews are automatic finalists in the magazine’s annual RONE awards, meaning that 2018 will be the second year in a row that one of a my books is a finalist. Escapee was the first runner up for this year’s science fiction RONE award.
Newborn
She was born to kill
[image error]Jo Beaverpaw is born fully grown, well-armed, and impatient to tackle her Destiny…which is to kill her alien nation’s most wanted fugitive. Her life is pre-programmed and straightforward–until she meets the sexy bodyguard of her intended target.
Newborn is the third exciting book in Edward Hoornaert’s near-future romance series, Alien Contact for Idiots. If you ever wished that the Schwarzenegger character in the original Terminator was a bad-assed (yet petite) female, don’t miss Newborn.
Newborn is available at:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Apple iTunes
Kobo Books
Smashwords
November 16, 2017
Tooting, but neither oboe nor London #mfrwauthor
Once again, here’s the Marketing for Romance Writers yearlong blog hop. For week 46, the writing prompt is:
Let Me Brag for a Minute
This is a dangerous topic! My ego is, shall we say, well developed, and I’m somewhat prone to tooting my own horn. Of course, that’s only natural for an oboist, right? Whose oboe am I going to toot, if not my own?
But like Miss Bates on Box Hill, who was restricted to only three silly statements, I’m restricted to only one minute.
(Incidentally, one of my sons briefly lived in Tooting. It’s a district in south London, near Wimbledon. This post has absolutely nothing to do with that.)
[image error]My unfortunately titled novel, Escapee, was the first runner up in InD’Tale Magazine’s RONE competition this year. I say ‘unfortunately titled’ because while the title fits the story, it doesn’t do anything to indicate that the book is a romance with science fiction elements. The RONE was a bigger deal than I expected, with a fancy ceremony featuring, evening dress, live music, and refreshments. The magazine’s editor TJ McKay, said they want the award to be the Academy Awards of Indie authors — and it shows.
[image error]Escapee is a retelling of the movie The African Queen, but set on an inhospitable moon that’s been invaded because of its mineral wealth. Instead of a small boat traveling down a river, the Escapee is an airship (i.e., dirigible) run by crusty Catt Sayer, who is herself an escapee from minor crimes on her home planet. She rescues uptight army captain Hector Dukelsky after the invasion, only to find that he wants her to undertake a suicidal voyage across the moon to attack the enemy’s headquarters.
I think (hope) that anyone who like The African Queen could enjoy Escapee.
By the way, I learned my lesson about a title that sells the story. Rescuing Prince Charming, available now for pre-order, has a much more romancy title, don’t you think? My wife says it’s her favorite of all my books. And that, frankly, means more to me than the RONE award.
What about you?
You have one minute to brag in a comment. Then check out the other writers taking part in this blog hop.
November 11, 2017
Effing Feline has a new hobby
I, Effing Feline, have gotten interested in tracking down my ancestors, and I’ve discovered some cats who are worthy of my bloodline.
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Bucky Katt, my idle
Like Bucky B. Katt. He’s described on his Wiki page as selfish, cynical, and lazy — my hero! Some say Bucky isn’t real, a mere creation for the Get Fuzzy comic strip, but such a paragon of felininity simply must be my relative.
From the sublime to the ridiculous . . . another snippet from an upcoming sci fi romance by my pet human: Rescuing Prince Charming. Last week, tech writer Dusty Johnson shocked herself by searching for a saboteur’s time bomb in the belly of a half-built starship. The bomb is set to go off in mere minutes.
Only one Kwadran (they’re aliens from the future) dares to help her dispose of the bomb. In this scene they’ve found the bomb and are racing to toss it in the ocean. But a slip of the tongue causes an unexpected delay, and a delay is the last thing she wants. Because the bomb is ticking.
“This is the fourth sabotage attempt in the last few months.” Dusty was panting; too much time spent behind a desk.
“Third,” he corrected.
“Fourth.”
“You know more about this than Security?” He stopped abruptly and shone his flashlight at her face as though interrogating her; his voice was all Kwadran, curt and accusing. “How?”
Temporarily blinded, she banged her elbow against a sharp edge, sending a spear of pain down her ulnar nerve. She rubbed her crazy bone. “Trust me — the gossip mill down here is the most efficient communication device ever devised by mankind.”
Effing Feline here again. I totally believe that gossip is more efficient than high tech security. After all, gossip is how cats have spread the word about their magnificence among humans for eons.
Speaking of magnificence, Bucky Katt has nine lives of it. For example, many Get Fuzzy story lines show Bucky inventing ways to antagonize and annoy Rob (his pet human) and Satchel (a dog). Annoying them is his hobby, and that is magnificence I vow to emulate.
Be sure to visit the magnificence of the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday authors.
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Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four
Available December 4
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
[image error]
Rescuing Prince Charming is now available for pre-sale. If anyone is willing to post an honest review (and yes, I really mean honest) soon after release, I could probably be talked into sending a pre-release copy their way.
November 9, 2017
A Day that Changed My Life #mfrwauthor
Once again, here’s the Marketing for Romance Writers yearlong blog hop. For week 45, the writing prompt is:
An Unforgettable Day in My Life
Uh . . . Well . . . I’m sure there are hundreds of unforgettable days in my life. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten them.
Well, then, pick any old day, silly!
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Effing Feline
Hey, it’s Effing Feline, my electronic alter ego who writes a weekly column on my blog. Welcome, Effing!
You’re stalling, pet-human-of-mine. Pick a day!
Okay, how about the day I met the love of my life? I was a senior in high school, and I’d been going with R on and off for a year or so. That fall, toward the beginning of the school year, R wanted me to go on a hay ride with her church group.
What’s with this “R” junk? I know you’re an old fart, but surely you remember her name!
Of course I do, Effing. Names changed to protect the innocent, okay? Anyway, we needed a car ride to the hay ride, and in the olden days, high schoolers didn’t own cars or get to borrow the family wheels for mere dates. I didn’t even have a driver’s licence. Luckily, a friend of R’s was going to the hay ride and her mother volunteered to drive us.
No driver’s licence? What a loser!
Hey, I was only 16; I was tall, though, so folks didn’t know I was young for my age. Anyway, with the mother as chaperone, R and I double-dated with her friend Judi, and Judi’s boyfriend (whose name also begins with R, but I won’t confuse you by calling him that). I forget the exact moment it happened, but I came away from the hay ride awed by Judi. She was way hotter than my date. It was lust at first sight.
So you dumped R? Insensitive schmuck!
‘Dumped’ is such a negative term. I’ll have you know that I still correspond via e-mail with R, decades later; we’re friends even though we haven’t seen each other in years. Let’s just say that my awareness was raised to the existence of other, more decorative species of fish in the sea. To return to my story — by chance or Destiny, we moved across town shortly thereafter and guess who lived nearby?
Gee, let me guess. Carl Jung, the inventor of the term ‘synchronicity?’
If he did, I was unaware of him. By then Judi’s boyfriend had conveniently vanished —
Had him done away with, eh? And you admit it? I’m calling the cops!
I hope other members of my audience aren’t as sarcastic as you. Anyway, Judi was available. I was interested. We dated, and I was head over heels. Judi was all I could think about. And she . . . well, she told her best friend that nothing would come of those early dates. We were too different.
The girl’s instincts were sound!
Shut up, Effing. Let’s just say I convinced her otherwise, convinced her to marry me, and we’re still happily married. And that, folks, is probably why I can write romance even though I’m a guy.
So if Judi had refused to date you, you wouldn’t have written 17 books worth of drivel? You’ve inspired me to invent a time machine to go back and break you up!
Everybody’s a critic. Especially cats.
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What about you?
What day is memorable to you? Tell us about it in a comment and then check out the other writers taking part in this blog hop.
Ed’s next book of drivel, Rescuing Prince Charming will be released December 4. You can already pre-order it.
November 7, 2017
Maybe She Should Run #MFRWHooks
Welcome to the Marketing for Romance Writers blog hop, Book Hooks. Writers share a short snippet of their works to entice you.
I’m continuing to highlight Rescuing Prince Charming, a science fiction romance that will be released December 4. Last week I showed you the back cover blurb. Today, you’ll see the very opening of the book.
Time: Four years from tomorrow.
Place: A top-secret, underground facility on a Pacific Northwest island that doesn’t exist…yet.
—————
Dusty Johnson really didn’t want to do this.
She took a deep breath, trying without success to dispel the dread clogging her belly. Some women daydreamed of rescuing princes from dragons. Not her.
Yet here she was, all alone, creeping through the dark guts of the half-built starship, searching for a time bomb about to explode. If the siren ordering evacuation of the research facility had summoned the expected herd of guards, she would’ve offered advice then fled with the rest of the staff. Having come this far, though, she couldn’t leave without branding herself a coward in her own eyes.
And so she slunk fearfully around machinery that smelled of oil and ozone. Nothing was neat and tidy down here; in a prototype, speed and ingenuity trumped meticulous design. Everything was makeshift, a giant kludge sprawling through three-thousand cubic yards. That meant a lot of places for saboteurs to hide a bomb, but only two where technicians wouldn’t discover it in the course of a workday.
The first hiding place was a niche behind the backup life support nexus. Staring into its shadows, she paused. A heroine wouldn’t hesitate, but an ordinary, everyday woman would think twice about squeezing into a dirty cranny while wearing a new, cream-colored chambray skirt with filigree trim.
Maybe she should just walk away.
Or run.
What do you think? Would this hook you if you browsed the book?
Be sure to check out the book hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop.
Or pre-order Rescuing Prince Charming.
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