Edward Hoornaert's Blog, page 48
December 28, 2017
Love, War, and Purple Cows #MFRWauthor
For week 51 of the Marketing for Romance Writers yearlong blog hop, the writing prompt is:
New Years Resolutions
I don’t do resolutions. Never have.
But rather than end with such a teensy post, I’ll add that the wife and I have signed up for a three-times-a-week fitness class starting January 3. Staying fit has been an ongoing struggle for the last 30 years, at least, and over the last 14 months I’ve been losing. I don’t expect the class to turn everything around for me, just to get me back in the groove.
In addition, I’ll set some writing goals, which I do every year. Well, not last year; surgery and lack of energy due to a serious illness (sepsis) convinced me to take things as they came. I need to get back in the groove artistically, just as I do physically.
First writing goal: finish rewrites of Secrets of Love and War by the end of February. The first draft of this science fiction book (with romantic elements) needs a LOT of work. Send it off for editing in March and aim for publication by the beginning of April
Participate in Camp NaNoWriMo in April, working on a first draft of book 5 in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. This is one of my sci fi romance series, and I don’t want to wait too long before bringing out another one. Aim for publication in early summer.
Beyond half a year, plans tend to be worthless, but as of now I intend to attempt a top-to-bottom rewrite of Purple Cow, a sci fi book with a fantastic premise but mediocre story.
If all goes as intended — and I know darned well it won’t — I’ll have three new books out by the end of 2018. For me, that’s quite ambitious.
What about you?
I’m not sure if this blog hop will continue, or whether I’ll take part if it does. However, I feel I’ve gotten to know more of you over the course of the year, and hopefully vice versa. If you’d like to keep in touch, please sign up for my mail list. I’ll gladly reciprocate.
What do you hope to achieve in the coming years? Be sure to check out the other writers taking part in this blog hop have to say.
December 26, 2017
Bah Humbug! #mfrwbookhooks
Effing Feline here. I write a weekly blog post for my pet human, Ed Hoornaert. He “asked” (more like ordered) me to fill in today because he’s “busy,” he says, with his three sons who flew 10,000 total miles to visit at Christmas, one way. As if that’s any excuse for sloughing the work onto poor overworked little me. I need my beauty sleep!
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Poor, mistreated Effing Feline
So let’g get this silliness over pronto. A selection from Ed’s latest release, Rescuing Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson and an alien guard have found a time bomb hidden in the guts of a prototype starship. Not trusting each other, they trade insults before carrying the bomb out of the ship. Yadda yadda yawn.
From the front, Kwadran shorts left little to the imagination. Which was a stupid thing to think about at a time like this.
[image error]“Give it [the bomb], you stubborn American. You move too slowly.”
“Carefully,” she corrected. “I move carefully.”
“No time for careful.” He seized the box, hugged it in the crook of his arm like a running back, and raced away.
“You’ll kill us both, you moron.” She followed as he dodged around a tall air filtration casing. He was taking a different route through the machinery than she had. Was it faster or slower? No time even to speculate. With a reckless burst of speed, she caught up to him.
“You’re fast,” he said as he vaulted over an insulated sewer pipe and rounded the purifier complex.
“Track team at The University of Arizona. But I’m surprised”—she slowed to climb over the warm sewer pipe—“to hear a Kwadran admit an American can do anything well.”
He glanced back at her. She wished he wouldn’t do that. If he ran into something, the bomb might explode almost in her face. It wasn’t a world-class face, but her head would look bloody awful without it.
[image error]Be sure to check out the book hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop. Bah humbug!
Rescuing Prince Charming
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable — and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
Rescue your own prince charming at these fine outlets:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Apple iTunes
Kobo Books
Smashwords
December 23, 2017
Effing Feline’s Christmas list
(If necessary, please substitute the name of an analogous holiday celebrated on your planet.)
I, Effing Feline, am one heck of a tough cat . . . but even I made out a list for Santy Claws. I’m going to share it with you, just in case you haven’t bought for me yet.
A servant devoted exclusively to cleaning my litter. I demand that it be pristine!
A petter. This servant’s job rating will be measured by how many hours a day I purr.
Another servant assigned to feeding me. When not actually dishing out the goodies, she/he can search out recipes and cook for me.
A servant devoted to grooming me with the tongue so I don’t get fur balls. This servant could be feline, though I prefer the quick bathing action of a large human tongue.
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Now another snippet from Rescuing Prince Charming. Dusty Johnson, a tech writer working on Earth’s first starship, has helped a stranger (a native American from an alternate Earth) find a saboteur’s time bomb. Since she’s already in the tunnel that’s their only exit, the guard have given her bomb so she can carry it away. Dusty speaks first.
“Maybe you aren’t as dumb as you look.”
In truth, she hadn’t paid enough attention to know if he looked like a genius or a dunce. A bomb-disposal pro would be trained to handle terror yet remain polite, but she was just an unadventurous tech writer holding death in her hands, and that was the best excuse for rudeness she’d ever had, but still . . . “Look, I apologize for –”
“Get moving!”
Mindful of the metal shard, she wriggled backward. Despite the cool air, sweat ran down her temples and tickled between her breasts. “I’m out of the tunnel. How much longer now until the message warned that the bomb” — a bomb she held in her hands, and she was very attached to her hands — “is supposed to explode?”
“Seven minutes, eighteen seconds.”
She wasn’t surprised at the precision of his answer; Kwadrans — aboriginal Americans hailing from the future of an alternate Earth—had tiny computers-slash-thought-activated-radios implanted under their collarbones.
Effing Feline here again, warning you to remember your cat this Christmas Eve! And be sure to visit the other writers in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.
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Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four
She’s no heroine. He’s no Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
December 21, 2017
Yo-Yo #mfwauthor
For week 51 of the Marketing for Romance Writers yearlong blog hop, the writing prompt is:
Advice to New Authors
I can’t find the original anecdote, which I heard decades ago, so I’m changing the names. My apologies to Yo-Yo Ma.
[image error]An aspiring young musician (we’ll call her LindaEllen for the simple reason that it’s the first name that pops into my head) took a master class with Yo-Yo Ma, the world-renowned cellist (for the simple reason that he’s the first name that pops into my head). After playing her heart out to the master, LindaEllen asked him whether he thought she had what it took to become a professional musician.
His answer: “You’re close, very close, but no. You don’t quite have what it takes to reach the heights.”
This was hard news to swallow, but LindaEllen was nothing if not realistic. She changed her major from music to finance and went on to make a lot of money and live a happy, successful life.
Years later, she met Yo-Yo Ma for a second time, and she thanked him for the excellent advice he’d given, which saved her from years of sorrow and strife. “I’ve had a good, satisfying life.”
He nodded. “I remember you well. You played like an angel. Rarely have I heard better.”
LindaEllen’s fingers curled into claws. “But then why did you discourage me? I could’ve become a great cellist like you!”
He shook his head. “No, you could never have done that. Becoming a musician is incredibly difficult even for the most gifted, with disappointment and dismay a million times more common than encouragement. It requires an unshakable will and a massive tolerance for pain. If it was at all possible to discourage you, it was my job to do so before heartbreak did it for you.”
——–
This anecdote has nothing to do with writing, of course. I don’t even know why I bother to bring it up.
Do you ?
What about you?
My, I’m a downer today. I’m sure some of the other writers taking part in this blog hop will have more upbeat advice for you.
December 19, 2017
Uh…yes, it WAS her problem #mfrwbookhooks
Welcome to the Marketing for Romance Writers blog hop, Book Hooks. Writers share a short snippet of their works to entice you. Here’s another tasty treat from my new release, Rescuing Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson and an unknown guard have found a time bomb hidden in the guts of a prototype starship. A narrow tunnel is the only access to the room where the guard holds the bomb. Not trusting each other, they trade insults, sounding each other out. (Edited slightly from the published version.)
Despite his complaints about chivalry, he handed her the shoebox. Holding the box reassured her . . . for a moment. Just an everyday shoebox, heavier than most, but just a shoebox.
[image error]“Maybe you aren’t as dumb as you look,” she said.
In truth, she hadn’t paid enough attention to know if he looked like Einstein or Forest Gump. A bomb-disposal pro would be trained to handle terror yet remain polite, but she was just an unadventurous tech writer holding death in her hands. That was the best excuse for rudeness she’d ever had, but still . . . “Look, I apologize for –”
“Get moving!”
Mindful of the metal shard, she wriggled backward. Despite the cool air, sweat ran down her temples and tickled between her breasts. “I’m out of the tunnel. How much longer now until the message warned that the bomb” — a bomb she held in her hands, and she was very attached to her hands — “is supposed to explode?”
“Seven minutes, eighteen seconds.”
She wasn’t surprised at the precision of his answer. Kwadrans—aboriginal Americans hailing from the future of an alternate Earth — had tiny computers-slash-thought-activated-radios implanted under their collarbones. One of these days, she wanted an implant for herself, if she lived that long . . .which was more doubtful now than yesterday. Getting out of the ship would take a while, leaving almost no time for real bomb disposal experts to work. But that wasn’t her problem.
Uh . . . yes, it was.
FWIW, here’s an Amazon reader said about the opening:
This has one of the best opening scenes every. (sic) What a way for two people to meet.
Be sure to check out the book hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop. Tuesday I’m picking up two of my sons at the airport for their holiday visit, so I may be later than sometimes to visit other hookers, but I’ll do it. I promise!
Rescuing Prince Charming
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable — and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
Rescue your own prince charming at these fine outlets:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Apple iTunes
Kobo Books
Smashwords
December 16, 2017
Effing Feline spills Santa’s dark secret
I, Effing Feline, have enjoyed telling the world about the feline source of Christmas traditions. Today I’m going to debunk one of the biggest lies of the season.
Santa Claus.
The truth is, Santa isn’t real. No mere human is that good and generous. Instead, the legend is based on the saintly life of a supremely generous CAT!
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Courtesy DepositPhotos
Now I turn from the absolute truth to an outright lie that my pet human has told for fun and profit — namely a snippet from Rescuing Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson, a tech writer working on Earth’s first starship, has helped a stranger (a native American from an alternate Earth) find a saboteur’s time bomb. It’s set to explode in minutes, but she’s blocking the tunnel they have to crawl through to get the bomb out of the cranny where it was hidden. And they don’t get along well . . . yet.
He took a deep breath and held out the shoebox. “This goes against my sense of chivalry.”
“Screw chivalry.” She reached for the box — but he pulled it away from her grasp.
“I’ll have you know I’m a gentleman.”
“And the School for Chivalrous Gentlemen taught you that Take off my pants is a polite greeting?”
Is Please take this bomb, with my compliments an improvement?” He gave a tight-lipped sigh. “I don’t like handing this to a woman.”
But he did it anyway. Holding the box reassured her . . . until she remembered it held a bomb.
Effing Feline here again. From now on, remember the correct spelling of Santa’s name: Santa Claws.
Be sure to visit the other writers in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.
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Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four
She’s no heroine. He’s no Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
December 14, 2017
One, two, three! #mfrwauthor
For week 50 of the Marketing for Romance Writers yearlong blog hop, the writing prompt is:
My biggest accomplishment
Compared to my wife, I’m much more accomplishment oriented; she’s more relationship oriented. My accomplishments are important to me, and I have three major ones.
#2 (tie) Music and literature
Music – I can’t possibly decide which is more important to me, my writing or my oboe playing. Music has been important to me a lot longer, since my teens, but although I came to writing twenty years later, it occupies more of my time these days. Hence, a tie.
In my mid-teens, going to orchestra concerts felt almost painful. I wanted to sound like a professional oboist, wanted to make tunes soar and wring tears from the very walls. I didn’t think I ever could do that.
I still don’t make walls wet and never will, but though I’ve never made a living with music, I’ve been principal oboist of the Civic Orchestra of Tucson for 31 years, and held the same position with the Kamloops Symphony for a decade. I’m not nearly as good as I want to be, but I’m better than I ever expected to be.
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My first book, writing as ‘Judi Edwards’.
Writing – I didn’t write my first novel until I was nearly forty, and I was pretty shocked when Silhouette published my second effort. I honestly didn’t think I was good enough to be a writer. When Silhouette dropped me after three books, I was hurt but unsurprised. It just confirmed my self-doubts.
I didn’t write for several years, and then wrote a couple of science fiction books that didn’t sell. For over a decade, I published nothing. Then I lucked out with a hardcover/softcover sale of The Trial of Tompa Lee, still my biggest non-Silhouette seller. I wasn’t prolific, but I began to think I might actually become a real novelist.
[image error]I’m not there yet, by own standards, but Rescuing Prince Charming, released this month, is my 17th book. My confidence (and ego) have grown to keep pace.
Sales are moderate to disappointing, but some of the reviews have been good. “I haven’t read a romance I enjoyed so much in a long time,” and “quite unlike anything I’ve read before and is well worth getting,” and “many steps above the average sci-fi romance novel.”
I bet you can see my head swelling from wherever in the world you live.
#1 Family
You may notice that my accomplishments aren’t one-time things like, say, running a marathon or winning the Nobel Prize for Literature. Instead, they’re ongoing processes that define who I am. That’s especially true of my number one: my family.
[image error]At the risk of feeling ancient, Judi and I’ve been married 48.5 years. If the marriage wasn’t mostly a happy one despite inevitable ups and downs, there’s no way I’d be writing romance.
None of our four children is an axe murderer (yet) .Our family life is stable and happy enough that everyone comes home for Christmas, even though we’re scattered across three countries and two continents.
That, my friends, is an accomplishment.
What about you?
What have your achieved? Tell us in a comment, then check out the other writers taking part in this blog hop.
December 12, 2017
Can I trust you? #MFRWBookHooks
Welcome to the Marketing for Romance Writers blog hop, Book Hooks. Writers share a short snippet of their works to entice you. Here’s another snippet from my new release, Rescuing Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson and a guard have found a time bomb hidden in the guts of a prototype starship. A narrow tunnel is the only access to the room where the guard holds the bomb. Dusty, who is still in the tunnel, speaks first.
“Give it to me.”
He shined the flashlight her way and looked up for the first time. “It is too dangerous.”
“Like I’m so far away it won’t kill me? Since you can’t disarm it, I’ll have to carry it to someone who can. Hurry.”
“Can I trust you?”
“Fine.” Her voice grew sharp from anxiety. “Just hold onto it until it explodes.”
He took a deep breath and held out the shoebox. “This goes against my sense of chivalry.”
“Screw chivalry.” She reached for the box—but he pulled it away from her grasp.
“I’ll have you know I’m a gentleman.”
“And the School for Chivalrous Gentlemen taught you that Take off my pants is a polite greeting?”
“Is Please take this bomb, with my compliments an improvement?” He gave a tight-lipped sigh. “I don’t like handing this to a woman.”
[image error]What do you think? Would this hook you if you browsed the book? Be sure to check out the book hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop.
Rescue your own prince charming at these fine outlets:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Apple iTunes
Kobo Books
Smashwords
December 9, 2017
Effing improves Frosty
I, Effing Feline, told you last week how the song Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer should actually be Ildephonse the Red-Nosed Kit Cat. Today I set the record straight about another Christmas song that fails to give cats their due. Here’s a clue to the song I’m talking about:
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Photo courtesy Cattime.com
Before I disclose the name of the scurrilous song, here’s a snippet from Ed’s recent sci fi romance, Rescuing Prince Charming. Dusty has helped a guard remove his pants, which had gotten snagged as he crawled through a short tunnel while searching for a time bomb set to explode any minute.
Creeping forward, he left his slacks behind. A jagged shard of metal had snared them, an inexcusable design flaw even for a prototype. Unreasonable deadlines might literally be the death of them all.
Dusty pointed her flashlight to help him see, and was rewarded with tight buttocks in typical Kwadran underwear, resembling a thong. She turned her flashlight aside a moment later than she should have.
And then regretted it. She’d never have such a chance again — might never have a chance to do anything — so what did it matter if she peeked?
But when she looked again, the tunnel was empty. He’d reached the closet-sized room at the other end.
Effing Feline here again. Did you figure out the song that disses cats? If you did, you’re nearly as smart as a cat. Here are the real words:
Toofy the Snowcat
Was a purry, happy puss
With some snow white fur
And whiskers of straw
He was tough and not a wuss
Henceforth, you are allowed to sing only this version. I mean it! Santa Claws is watching you!
Be sure to visit the other writers in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.
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Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four
She’s no heroine. He’s no Prince Charming.
Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.
Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.
December 7, 2017
The reason we have Weightwatchers #MFRWAuthor
For week 49 of the Marketing for Romance Writers yearlong blog hop, the writing prompt is:
A Favorite Recipe
My daughter’s coming over tomorrow to help me bake Christmas cookies. That’s pretty thrilling, because it’s the first time any of my children has shown any interest in carrying on a family tradition.
I think I’ve mentioned before that my mother was a tremendous baker. It was her art form, and never more so than Christmas. She made hundreds of cookies each and gave them away by the score.
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I helped. Mostly by eating the cookies by the score, but also in the prep work. The tradition continued, too. After Judi and I had children, I resurrected my mother’s cookies and made them every year but one. Here is one of the recipes my family has been gobbling up for over sixty years.
Here’s the recipe for the wreaths and poinsettias:
1 cup butter
2/3 cup sugar
1 egg
2 and 2/3 cup flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon almond extract
Cream the butter and sugar.
Beat in egg and almond extract.
Add the dry ingredients.
Bake at 500 degrees for 4 to 6 minutes. Watch them carefully, because at that temperature they burn quickly.
What about you?
What’s your favorite recipe? Also, be sure to check out the recipes from other writers taking part in this blog hop.
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