Scott Adams > Quotes

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”
― Scott Adams

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
― Scott Adams

“The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find
someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is
futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone
who is capable of significant change; that sort of person
exists only in our imaginations.”
― Scott Adams, God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.”
― Scott Adams

“Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.”
― Scott Adams

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”
― Scott Adams

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
― Scott Adams

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”
― Scott Adams

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”
― Scott Adams

“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”
― Scott Adams

“You can change only what people know, not what they do.”
― Scott Adams, God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“When did ignorance become a point of view?”
― Scott Adams

“If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.”
― Scott Adams, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

“Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo”
― Scott Adams

“I get mail; therefore I am.”
― Scott Adams

“The best things in life are silly.”
― Scott Adams

“I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.”
― Scott Adams

“I made a list of skills in which I think every adult should gain a working knowledge. I wouldn't expect you to become a master of any, but mastery isn't necessary. Luck has a good chance of finding you if you become merely good in most of these areas. I'll make a case for each one, but here's the preview list.

Public speaking
Psychology
Business Writing
Accounting
Design (the basics)
Conversation
Overcoming Shyness
Second language
Golf
Proper grammar
Persuasion
Technology ( hobby level)
Proper voice technique”
― Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

“A goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don't sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, its a system. If you're waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it's a goal. If you achieve your goal, you celebrate and feel terrific, but only until you realize you just lost the thing that gave you purpose and direction. Your options are to feel empty and useless, perhaps enjoying the spoils of your success until they bore you, or set new goals and reenter the cycle of permanent presuccess failure. All I'm suggesting is that thinking of goals and systems as very different concepts has power. Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous presuccess failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out. Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do. The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at each turn. The systems people are feeling good everytime they apply their system. That's a big difference in terms of maintaining your personal energy in the right direction.”
― Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

“The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to
think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy.
- Wally's Keynote Speech
”
― Scott Adams

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational
things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the
principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”
― Scott Adams

“Remember there's no such thing
as a small act of kindness.
Every act creates a ripple effect
with no logical end.”
― Scott Adams

“There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.”
― Scott Adams, Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.”
― scott adams

“The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.”
― Scott Adams

“The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.”
― Scott Adams, God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve. ”
― Scott Adams, Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.”
― Scott Adams

“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has extraordinary power.”
― Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

“Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.”
― Scott Adams, God's Debris: A Thought Experiment