M. Chandler > Quotes

“He was fucking with us pretty hard in the saferoom,” Sandra called from the front of the plane’s undercarriage.
“Aw, Sandy, that wasn’t fucking,” Simon said. “That was just, I don’t know, really obnoxious foreplay or something.”
― M. Chandler, The Morning Star

“Hope you didn't bring any spiders into the van with you,' Simon put in. 'Hey, I'm thinking we could take you back outside and hose you down, just to make sure. You'd definitely smell better if we did, which, I mean, bonus.'
Jeremy scraped both hands through his hair again, then beat them clean against his thighs. 'Believe me, Simon, if we had access to a garden hose, I'd be the first to turn it on myself. I feel foul.'
'Hate to break it to you, Archer, but that feeling is not lying to you,' Simon said with mild relish.”
― M. Chandler, High Fidelity

“So, uh, I'm not really sorry about that, and I'm not really
grateful for your butting in or, or anything, but I'm kind of aware
that I ought to be..."
(...)
Jeremy considered this. "Well, since it's you, I suppose it's
the best I'm likely to get. Fair enough. Your non-apology is
accepted, and I'll attempt to treat your delicate condition less
lightly in the future.”
― M. Chandler, With a Bullet

“In that case, hell, I'll even spring for the coffee. Unless you're some kind of damned tea-drinking Englishman, in which case you can buy your own dirty leafy water."

"Drink tea in America?" Jeremy's eyebrow twitched upwards in disbelief. "I'm not that sort of masochist. Coffee, at least, has the benefit of being horrible the world over, so it doesn't matter where you get it."

Simon eyed him narrowly. "And to think I was almost not hating you."

Jeremy blinked, feigning confusion. "Goodness. Did I say something wrong?”
― M. Chandler, The Morning Star

“Gut instinct," Jeremy wheezed.

"Your gut's been shot," Mike pointed out, but he looked uncertain.”
― M. Chandler, The Morning Star

“Rampant male predator’,” Simon said, shaking his head. “Blatant, Archer.”

“Would you prefer ‘alpha male’?” Jeremy asked. “I do occasionally feel the urge to roll over and expose my belly in submission, after all—”

“Christ, don’t do it now, I’m wiped out.”
― M. Chandler, With a Bullet

“Simon snitched one of the cardboard coffee cups from Sandra's tray. "I love you guys," he said affably. "Have I told you that lately? Every time I start worrying that maybe this job has driven me insane, all I have to do is look at you all and I realize how much worse off I could be.”
― M. Chandler, The Morning Star

“Fine. I can negotiate with the best of 'em. I took a CLASS. Tell me what you want.”
― M. Chandler, The Morning Star

“Any resemblance to persons living or dead or actual events is entirely coincidental. Any resemblance to reality is entirely surprising. Objects in the rearview mirror may be closer than they appear.   Shadow”
― M. Chandler, The Morning Star

“Johnny didn't exactly look tired, but then, Johnny was just about the hardest son-of-a-bitch to read that Simon had ever met. Dave, on the other hand, looked like he'd spent the last week being beaten by tiny elves with whiffle bats, which might have been true, for all Simon knew.”
― M. Chandler, High Fidelity