Set Boundaries, Find Peace Quotes

“Stop following people on social media who make it appear they have it all together all the time.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“it isn’t helpful to say you’re sorry about setting a boundary. Remember that people benefit from you not having limits. You have to look out for yourself—no excuses required.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Avoidance is a passive-aggressive way of expressing that you are tired of showing up. Hoping the problem will go away feels like the safest option, but avoidance is a fear-based response. Avoiding a discussion of our expectations doesn’t prevent conflict. It prolongs the inevitable task of setting boundaries.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“prolonging issues by avoiding them means the same issues will reappear over and over again,”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“There is no belief so strong that it cannot be set aside temporarily to learn from someone who disagrees”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“According to Celeste Headlee, author of We Need to Talk: “To have important conversations, you will sometimes have to check your opinions at the door. There is no belief so strong that it cannot be set aside temporarily to learn from someone who disagrees. Don’t worry; your beliefs will still be there when you’re done.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards, for your life and the people you allow in it. —Mandy Hale”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Boundaries are expectations and needs that help you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships. Expectations in relationships help you stay mentally and emotionally well. Learning when to say no and when to say yes is also an essential part of feeling comfortable when interacting with others.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Have you ever been excited about something? Of course you have. You didn’t stop everything because of it, right? You didn’t miss work. You didn’t stay in bed all day. You did whatever was usually on your agenda, but you felt excited at the same time. You can also carry on with your life while feeling guilty.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“It’s true that setting boundaries isn’t easy. Paralyzing fear about how someone might respond can easily hold us back. You might play out awkward interactions in your mind and prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome. But trust me: short-term discomfort for a long-term healthy relationship is worth it every time!”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Neglecting self-care is the first thing to happen when we get caught up in our desire to help others.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Es muy difícil cambiar tus hábitos si no cambias las creencias subterráneas que te condujeron a las conductas pasadas que deseas cambiar. Tienes una nueva meta y un nuevo plan, pero no te has transformado a ti mismo.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Cuestión de límites (Autoconocimiento)

“about you from watching how you treat yourself. People can sense your lack of self-esteem or neediness based on how you talk to yourself, talk about yourself, and treat yourself behaviorally. Be kind to yourself, because the people in your life are watching. This doesn’t mean that people have a right to be mean.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Be kind to yourself, because the people in your life are watching. This doesn’t mean that people have a right to be mean.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Persevere with the awareness that your boundaries are not for people to like. They’re for you to remain healthy in your relationships.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Ask people if they want you to just listen, or if they’re looking for feedback.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“If you experience depression, it can be helpful to set boundaries about how many things you expect yourself to do in a single day. If you add too much to your to-do list but lack the motivation, you’ll set yourself up for failure. Depression will increase if you take on too much without finishing any of the tasks you started. Instead, highlight the small wins, such as showering over the weekend, going to the gym, or going out with friends. Affirmations for people who struggle with depression:”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Not knowing when to say no Not knowing how to say no Prioritizing others over yourself People-pleasing Superhero syndrome (“I can do it all”) Unrealistic expectations Not being appreciated for what you do”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Treatment We Allow from Others “People are always taking advantage of me.” I hear this frequently in my office. But are they? The real question is, How are you allowing people to take advantage of you? How are you allowing people to take advantage of you? It’s your job to maintain the standard of how others treat you. After all, people are getting their cue from you as to what’s tolerable in your relationship with them. Tell them and show them how you want to be treated, and model what you want by treating yourself well.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“How are you allowing people to take advantage of you? It’s your job to maintain the standard of how others treat you. After all, people are getting their cue from you as to what’s tolerable in your relationship with them. Tell them and show them how you want to be treated, and model what you want by treating yourself well.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Your boundaries are made on a case-by-case basis. When you build walls, you keep everyone out, not just abusive individuals.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“You can’t permit any violations to slide. Allowing slips will give the impression that you aren’t serious about your expectations.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“someone else’s opinion about your life isn’t more valuable than your own.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“After experiencing his initial boundary setting, Eric was ready to set the ultimate one with his father. He told Paul one week before Memorial Day, “Dad, I’m hosting a barbecue at my house. I expect you to arrive sober and not drink. If you seem to be under the influence, I will ask you to leave.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Another part of upholding the boundary you’ve set is deciding what you’ll do if it’s violated. If you do nothing, you aren’t honoring your boundary.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Unintentionally, caregivers may force kids to hug adults they don’t want to hug. When kids don’t comply with the demands of their caregivers, they’re told, “You’re being mean,” or “That’s not nice.” Telling kids they’re bad or mean for not complying with a request is manipulative. In these small acts, we teach children that they should feel guilty for attempting to honor their own boundaries.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“assertiveness is how you clearly and directly state your needs.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“we don’t get what we want by pretending to be unbothered and avoiding the straightforward expression of our needs. Being indirect is counterproductive because our needs go unmet. This only makes us more frustrated and overwhelmed in our interactions with others. More examples of passive-aggressiveness: Appearing upset but refusing to admit it Making verbal attacks not related to the current situation Being moody for no known reason (often) Bringing up issues from the past Engaging in problem-focused complaining Gossiping about things you could fix but have no intention of addressing”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“we don’t get what we want by pretending to be unbothered and avoiding the straightforward expression of our needs. Being indirect is counterproductive because our needs go unmet. This only makes us more frustrated and overwhelmed in our interactions with others.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

“Ways to Handle Guilt-Tripping Call it out: “Are you trying to make me feel bad about my decisions?” Make the conversation about you, not them: “It’s nothing personal. I just have preferences for myself.” Declare that you’ve made your decision: “Your response seems like you’re trying to change my mind.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself