Blame Less Quotes

“As long as you carry a functional brain inside your head, you are susceptible to depression and eventually – to suicidal thoughts. The brain will malfunction if the wiring is triggered the wrong way and that is an inescapable reality for all of us.
The only advice I can give is – if the wiring does go wrong, seek help. Talk to someone and trust me, someone will listen to you. You need not be ashamed, just take that first step and reach out to someone.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“Fuckboys (and Fuckboy Prospects), read this closely: When a woman breaks up with you (usually because she is fed up with your shit) it’s never easy. I understand your ego is bruised, you can’t imagine another dude doing things you used to do with/to her and that shit will eat you up! I understand.
That doesn’t mean you should disrespect her – or kill her goddamit! That doesn’t mean you should post revenge porn pictures and videos of her to your 5000 online friends. It does not justify you calling her a hoe to ease your lil battered ego. Doing any of those makes you a certified upper echelon fuckboy bro.
Walk away – just go on airplane mode, remove yourself from the situation and allow yourself to heal. If you are one of those social-media love butterflies who advertises every moment with your boo, then log out of all your profiles and go into cocoon mode.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“The truth is, when you stop acting like a victim, you’ll start attracting a new group of healthy friends who are interested in you as a person, not just what they can do for you.
These are the relationships you want. Healthy relationships have a give and take. You need to give and receive. This is how you really rid yourself of anger and resentment. It’s scary because at first you get to worry that you’ll be all alone, that no one will ever love you. Start small and see what happens.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“In our falling and rising sometimes if not most, we encounter a force so strong it gives us hope, it propels us out of the dismal settings that we find ourselves in and fashions us into something else. Better versions of ourselves for the most part.
We encounter a guiding hand, a messiah that yanks us out of our piteous disposition. Depending on our fall and this force’s might, sometimes this encounter alters the core foundation of our true being, it reinvents our nature into something we’d never been before, something we never thought ourselves capable of becoming.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“Often, those who are the target of your blame have no idea (or could care less) about how you really feel. You only hurt yourself by being a prisoner of your own bitterness and resentment. Your feelings may be justified, but they will not help you become happy, healthy, and successful. Ultimately, isn’t that what you really want?”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“While it’s certainly true that life presents many difficulties, and undeniable the pain and suffering they often cause, to blame others as the reason for one’s unhappiness is to cast oneself in the role of the victim. For all those years I condemned myself to victimhood I lost so much of myself and so much of what I stood for.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“While one cannot state that all blamers have narcissistic personality disorder, blaming is a common behavior among those who fall somewhere on the continuum.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“ext time, before you give yourself a self-diagnosis that you are a weak wimp or too fragile or too caring, PAUSE, take a step back and ask yourself if the people surrounding you aren’t a bunch of assholes.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“Blamers: Before you judge someone for being too emotional or for being a serial whiner, conduct a self-inquisition and you might discover that you are a deadpan asshole yourself. Your emotional coldness should therefore not result in you judging other people for being too emotional.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“It may seem easy and convenient to blame your absentee father for our unhappiness, but in the long run you lose out, as indulging in blame costs you the authority to be in charge.
We miss the profound potential which can be unleashed once we take total responsibility for our life experience, and preside proactively over the purposeful direction of our lives.
To take full ownership of your life, your choices and happiness takes a lot of accountability.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“Stepfathers have been vilified for ages. Books and movies have always depicted stepfathers as this clog in the family system, not to be accepted. Children are programmed to hate a stepfather from the get-go and they do so with a passion. It doesn’t matter if the child’s father is in the picture or not.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“What is your problem?
What’s keeping you stuck and upset?
Why do you blame other people?
Be honest with yourself. It’s not easy, but without doing this, you won’t go anywhere. Stop blaming other people. It doesn’t help. It doesn’t change the situation. Actually, it won’t even make you feel better. It’s a great waste of your time and energy.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“Over the years, I have grown to see people in need of a savior so bad that they would eat grass, drink petrol, and be fed rats and snakes all in the name of finding a messiah. I’ve seen people attempt to deal with the loss of their jobs or school or other livelihood forms or desperately attempt to scramble out of poverty by believing in the most laughable of saviors and ‘miracle workers’.
I’ve witnessed women battered, scorned and stripped of their poise and essence because they could not walk away from scoundrels they’d previously deemed their ‘saviors’. Such relationships lead to a savior-martyr relationship. In other words – a certified disaster-in-waiting.
Martyr complex is a collateral product of blame. You blame someone for your current misfortunes therefore you go looking for someone else to save you. You blame yourself for your shortcomings and therefore there must be someone out there who can redeem your broken self.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“There are illusory advantages to victimhood, as finger-pointing provides a convenient justification for life’s unsatisfactory conditions, and sheds the work necessary to take complete charge of one’s own life and well-being.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“It is always someone or something else that is somehow responsible for the problems you’re having.
People like me who blame others tend to overemphasize themselves while at the same time underemphasizing the negative effects of their actions.
Realize something very important here, I didn't say 'overemphasize the effects of others on them,' I said, overemphasize themselves. Overemphasizing the negative impact others have had on them is very much a part of overemphasizing self.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“As much as we are shapers of our environments, we are also equally shaped by our habitats. The slums, kraals and suburbs we came out of forged us into who we are.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“Depressed parents raise depressed children.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“Never ever let anyone make you feel less than who you are because of your disorder(s) whether it be your work, your friends, church mates or your online ‘friends’.
In today's society, shockingly people are extremely uneducated about mental health so you are likely to hear incredibly moronic things that are far from the truth and be expected to just "snap out of it.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer

“The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But talking about suicide does save lives.”
― Thabo Katlholo, Blame Less: A Grim Journey Into the Life of a Chronic Blamer