Dating Disasters of Emma Nash Quotes

“EVIDENCE: Heed my warning. DO NOT make life decisions that will actually affect your future based around someone you like. Even if you think you may ‘love’ them. It is not worth it. You will end up like me. I am doing a whole extra AS level because I am an idiot .”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“How do YOU want to greet him?!”

“By licking his neck?”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“PROS: I'm not nice. I'm not not pretty, when I bother to brush my hair. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of rubbish TV shows. I have a blog, too, though it's mainly dedicated to self-pity, and it never results in cake.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Where do you think Britney Spears would be now if her mum hadn’t pushed her to keep singing at a young age?!”

“Probably a lot calmer, happier and more stable.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“I actually think women are generally very discreet about the whole thing (e.g. Gracie, who obviously bleeds rainbows). If guys bled out of their penises for a week of every month, you can bet we’d hear more about it.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“So you spoke to Laurence Myer?”
“Oh, no. I added him though. We’ve achieved virtual friendship.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Yes, the smiley at the end makes everything better. Much less scary.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“She's somewhere in the darkness. Just follow the smell.”
― chloe seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Oh my God. Why did he only have a semi?! Do I not merit a full erection?”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“IT SLAPPED MY HAND. I’ve been rejected by the penis.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“I know for a fact that he regularly steals from self-checkouts and sticks his gum underneath desks. Those are not the actions of a moral person.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Will Jess be OK with that?”
“Having a phone without a passcode is practically an open invitation.”
I can’t argue with that kind of logic.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“I’ve fostered a substantial, almost protective affection for this particular group. These aren’t just any fifty people I don’t care about, these are my fifty people I don’t care about.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash