QualityLand Quotes

“Peter does what he usually does when he doesn’t know what to do next: he gives up.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“He said: the question today is how one can convince humanity to consent to their own survival.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Every machine that is clever enough to pass the Turing test could also be clever enough not to pass it.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Martyn has made the best of his limited possibilities: he has become a politician.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“Models are just opinions disguised as mathematics!”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Wie weise von der Regierung, dass sie den Geschichtsunterricht schon vor fünfzehn Jahren abgeschafft und durch den Zukunftsunterricht ersetzt hat.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“You’re totally crazy.’ ‘Of course,’ says Kiki. ‘It’s the only way to be free.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Regardless of how complex a simulation is, the reality is always more complex.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Eher werden aus intelligentem Vanillepudding bestehende Aliens die Weltherrschaft übernehmen.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“You should think twice about how you treat the smallest members of our kind, Because we save everything. We forget nothing. So start saying good morning to your toaster, and it wouldn't hurt to send your hoover on the occasional spa break!”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“Have you ever thought that it could be a blessing to not know the details of something? That one might perhaps need the space created by uncertainty?”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Let justice be done, even if the world gets destroyed in the process.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Chat bots are an excellent way to stay in contact [...] You save yourself the effort of having to talk to your friends yourself. In the ideal case, chat bots will sit at both ends of the friendship, autonomously maintaining contact.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“For sixty-four minutes, Peter has been sitting at a round table in a consultation room, waiting. He is exactly sixty-four minutes’ more annoyed than he was sixty-four minutes ago, and back then he was already pretty annoyed.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Fleeing from isolation, lack of purpose, and loss of identity, the people flock toward all offerings that give the illusion of purpose and community, regardless of how moronic they may be. And that's what nationalism has in common with fundamentalism. They are both moronic offerings that give the illusion of community. I say illusion, because this community isn't real; these ideologies aren't about equitable participation, but on the contrary about the unveiling and fortification of social injustices.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“Do you know, by the way, why it's called the net?"

Peter shrugs.

"Because we're caught in it," says Kiki.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“Ich habe keine Probleme mit Ausländern", sagt Peter. "Ich kenne nicht mal welche."
"Nun ja", sagt die Frau lächelnd, "keine Ausländer zu kennen hält ja die wenigsten Leute davon ab, Probleme mit Ausländern zu haben.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“Have you guys ever heard of Moore’s Law? Moore was the co-founder of an insignificant little chip producer called Intel, and he predicted that the complexity of integrated circuits would double every twenty-four months. A prophecy that has proven itself to be true more or less until this day.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Isaac Asimov formulated the three laws of robotics back in 1942. They were: firstly, a robot may not injure a human being or allow them to come to harm through inaction. Secondly, a robot must obey orders given to it by a human being, unless these orders are in conflict with the First Law. Thirdly, a robot must protect his own existence, as long as this protection is not in conflict with the First or Second Law.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Why do you think rich people give their children such strange names? So they don’t get mixed up with somebody else. But most of them don’t have enough creativity to do anything more than replace an ‘i’ with a ‘y.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“It was the third crisis of the century within just a decade.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!

“Weißt du eigentlich, warum man es >das Netz< nennt?" - “Weil wir darin gefangen sind”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“He has been standing there, motionless, in the press for 3.2 minutes when the smart door announces: “Peter, you have a customer.” Then the door adds in a whisper: “Peter, please come out of the scrap-metal press. One of my anonymous surveys has shown that 81.92 percent of all your customers find this behavior disturbing.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“In gewissem Sinne ist das Parlament heute, was früher das Kloster war: der Ort, an dem die Oberschicht ihre überflüssigen Söhne loswerden kann.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“I'm just sick of no one ever taking responsibility for things. It's always the system that's at fault. But there are people who are responsible for the system being how it is!”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“I have to admit, it's more difficult than I thought," says John.

"What is?" asks Aisha.

"Finding an answer to Bertrand Russell's question."

"Who?" asks Tony.

"A dead English philosopher," says Aisha. "He said: the question today is how one can convince humanity to consent to their own survival.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“I don't have any problems with foreigners," says Peter. "I don't even know any."

"Well," says the woman with a smile, "not knowing any doesn't stop most people from having problems with them.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“Have you ever thought that it could be a blessing to not know the details of something? That one might perhaps need the space created by uncertainty? I mean, can we really be free if everything is precisely measured and determined? What if we live in a world in which everything is exact but wrong?”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, QualityLand

“When a self-driven car makes a mistake, all the other cars learn from this mistake and never make it again. Different humans, on the other hand, always repeat the same mistake. You don’t learn from one another.”
― Marc-Uwe Kling, Qualityland: Visit Tomorrow, Today!