Hot and Badgered Quotes

“Stevie! Stevie!” When her sister didn’t respond, Charlie released her and threw up her hands. “I’ve killed her. Of course I’ve killed her. I knew one day I’d kill you all.” Max finally got to her feet. “Good Lord! Get off the cross, we need the wood.” “What does that mean?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“I know the drill.” Max nodded and flatly replied, “Go in. Kill everybody. Get Stevie out.” Charlie briefly closed her eyes, took a moment to breathe and try to relax her shoulders . When she felt she wouldn’t yell, she said, “That is not the drill.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“I love how your Christianity only comes into play when you don’t have a rational argument for something you don’t like.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“You gave me a Ruger?" she asked. "No one has ever given me a..." She took a small step back. "Oh, my God." Charlie couldn't help but smile. "It's you," she cheered. "My giant, helpful blur!" "The name is Berg. Berg Dunn.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“And a little duct tape on the gunshot wounds will stop the bleeding.”
“You’re not a headlight on an old Chevy,” Berg told her.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Stevie could go from zero to hysterical in six seconds. She was the Ferrari of panic.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Excuse me,” Max replied, indignant. “These lacerations and bruises are not because of the men who came to kill me. With my usual aplomb, I have dealt with those scumbags.”“Uh-huh. Then what did happen?” “Why do we have to discuss that? Our lives are in danger.” Charlie gazed at her sister for a few moments before guessing, “Squirrels again?”“They started it!” “It’s nice to see that nothing has really changed since we last saw each other.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Now can I go in and kill everybody?” Max asked. “No.” “You and your half-canine morals. It does nothing but get in the way.” “I know you’re working hard to be a sociopath, but stop it.” “Sociopath is in the eye of the—” “—forensic psychologist working for the prosecution?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Everything makes me nervous.” Stevie thought a moment. “Well . . . not everything. But man-eaters definitely make me nervous.”
“But tigers are man-eaters . . . and you’re half tiger.”
Stevie stared out the front window for several seconds ruminating on that bit of information before admitting, “Dear God. I’m terrified of myself.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“How hard is it to keep an eye on one woman? I take six months. And you take six months. That was our agreement.”“Why is she still our responsibility?” “Because she’s our sister and we love her and if we don’t watch out for her, she will get involved with the wrong people , and destroy the world. Is that what you want?” “You always ask me that question, and you’re always disappointed with my answer.” Charlie sighed . “Well, we need to find her.” “I know.”“She’s in as much danger as we are.”“I know.” “They sent trained military after us.”“I know.” “And I know this car is stolen.”“Of course it’s stolen.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Charlie suddenly walked back out of the kitchen, a bag of unopened flour in her hands. “Do you all realize—” “Uh-oh,” Stevie said softly, her head dropping. “—that the only reason we’re all here is because of my father?” She pointed at Coop. “You had to cancel the rest of your world tour because of my father.” She pointed at Berg. “You were shot and stabbed because of my father.” “I’m not sure we can blame him specifically—” She pointed at Livy. “You got in a fight with your cousin because of my father.” Pointed at Vic. “Strangers in your apartment because of my father.” She gestured between her and Max and Stevie. “Recent attempts on our lives, most likely because of our idiot father.” “We don’t know,” Stevie interrupted, “that Daddy had anything to do with any of this.” Her sisters suddenly turned to her and stared. For a really long time. Until Stevie finally admitted, “It was probably him, but we don’t know it was him. That’s all I’m saying.” Making a sound of disgust, Charlie turned on her heel and walked back into the kitchen. “Where did she find the flour?” Livy asked Vic. “We have flour?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“She didn’t know how Charlie did this on a daily basis. Maintain order. Honestly, it would have been easier just to make a run for it or lay waste to everyone in a five-mile radius. Illegal but easier.
Oh, and . . . yeah . . . morally wrong”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“This isn’t over, old man! I will hunt you down and kill you! I’m calling Will and telling him exactly where you are! I will have all the MacKilligans looking for your dumb ass! And when he cuts your heart out, I will dine on it with a good Scottish ale, you worthless son of a bitch!”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Why would there be a morgue in a sports center?” Charlie asked. “Because Soylent Green is people?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Unfortunately," she admitted. "MacKilligans aren't allowed in Siberia. There was an incident." "With the bears?" "Oh, no." She placed her head on his shoulder, snuggling close, before admitting, "Not with the bears. With everybody.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Stevie can learn anything from a book. And when it comes to psychiatry, she’s read them all. So she wields guilt like a master swordsman. And Max isn’t nearly as much of a psychopath as the social worker said because otherwise, she wouldn’t feel any guilt at all. At least that’s what I tell myself. All the time.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“No. Let’s just get back upstairs and—” “There’s a Starbucks.” “Ooh.” Charlie stepped past the doorway. “Coffee.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“You can’t give wild animals food and then take it away.” Stevie pointed a finger at Charlie and snarled through gritted teeth, “So if that means you need to bake, bitch. Bake!”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Dear God, Max! What happened to your face?” Berg hysterically asked.
She shrugged, the quills in her face wiggling when she did. “A porcupine attacked me. Flung its quills at me.” She glanced around, seemingly not bothered by the many—many—quills hanging from her face like some weird, horrifying mask.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“She needed a break.” “A break? She needed a break? What does that mean?” “You know what that means, Charlie.” “I do?” Charlie thought a moment, then rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on! Again?”“You know how she is. But hey! At least she’s still in Switzerland. We’ll get there in no time.” “But it’s a mental hospital! Not a resort!”“To her, all mental hospitals are resorts. Besides, it could be worse,” Max said happily. “This could all be so much worse!” Charlie shook her head . “Dude, I seriously don’t know how.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“You stray-dog this Berg! You stray-dog this!”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“All this money, but scientists still have to beg for funds in the search to end cancer.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Ric placed his elbows on his desk and rested his chin in the palms of his hand.
"So, let me sum up - we've got one vote for total annihilation and one vote for forcing them to join the hockey team. Am I correct?"
"Yes," both females replied.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“A porcupine attacked me. Flung its quills at me.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Taking the dog his mother had given her triplets had been a bad idea.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Who flipped out when they ate a whole muffin or counted every calorie, not for health reasons but because, God forbid, they should gain a pound in a world of “thigh gaps” and giant asses that had to be medically enhanced because those women didn’t eat enough to get an ass like that on their own.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“This is going to be big.” When Coop’s head tipped to the side like a confused schnauzer, he added, “The hotel room of some big-time penis was just violently invaded.” “It’s pianist.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Good Lord! Get off the cross, we need the wood.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered

“Stevie stared out the front window for several seconds ruminating on that bit of information before admitting, “Dear God. I’m terrified of myself.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Hot and Badgered