Kill the Farm Boy Quotes

“Only then could he have a sad waffle with no syrup on it for breakfast. He didn’t think his mother made them properly: rumor in the village had it that waffles weren’t supposed to be gray.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“He was simply one of the most dangerous creatures in the world: a person of small talent and large purse who was thoroughly certain that he deserved more.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“He was simply the most dangerous person in all the world; a person of small talent and large purse.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“It smelled of repressed desire and unwanted potatoes.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Silly rabbit. Such acrobatic tricks are for kids,”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“It was the grim silence of the self-aware adult, contemplating mortality and the mathematical certainty that things would get worse before they would get better, if at all, and even if they did get better in the short term, there was still the dismal prospect of arthritis and incontinence ahead.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Self-awareness had its downside, for he had lost the bliss of ignorance.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“you will also, in passing through, discover the steely strength of our Morningwood, whose limber limbs bend but do not break yet bear succulent fruit with each new stroke of spring.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Paugh!" the troll scoffed. "Romance. Kissing and folly. Where's the story, where's the philosophy? I'm a troll, and even I can't rip a bodice. You should read real literature. The classics." He held up a book called Ye Olde Clubbe of Fisticuffs. "This is one of my favorites. It's all about, like, rejecting capitalism." He held up another, the spine as yet uncracked, called Alliance of Nincompoops. "Or this one, about a misunderstood genius. You should read it. I'd love to chat about what the true meaning of success is when we're living in a world that values looks instead of substance.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Have you learned nothing from this journey? Magic is a drug. You can't just go around eating everything that sparkles.”
― Kevin Hearne, Kill the Farm Boy

“Fia asked so many questions regarding what was and was not fried in animal fat that Toby cast an enchantment enrobing all the vegan items with a greenish glow.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“There was also an abundance of portent swaddled about the place. Oodles of it. A surfeit, even.
Something would go down there soon.
But for now, the lady slept.
And drooled a little, probably.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Rubbing the place where a headache was brewing, Toby said, “You may keep whatever parts of the goat you wish. I just want this farm boy’s heart.”
“So the rest of him is up for grabs?”
“The rest of the goat?”
“No, the rest of the…yeah, the goat. The goat. Good eating, goat.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Poltro shrugged. “He’s confident and saucy, he knows his way around a ditty, and he has the prettiest hair I ever saw, plus he doesn’t smell like chicken.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“The world is a terrible place,” Toby said to a hedgehog squatting sadly in a cage on the table. “What’s the point of being a potentially all-powerful wizard if you can’t even have cheese and crackers when you really, really deserve them?”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“She turned her back on Worstley, blasted him with a powerful if squeaky fart, giggled, and flew away in an unsteady looping trajectory, leaving a trail of dull glitter in her wake.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“According to those in power, there was no acceptable way to resist their rules. Peacefully, violently, with words or actions—the peasantry were supposed to know their place. The ruling classes expected everyone to play by their rules, which were designed to keep them in power and benefit no one else except by accident—and those who tried to break those rules ended up run through with a pike.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“In her experience, people rarely pointed out how peaceful they were unless they were preparing to threaten violence and wanted you to be a bit more relaxed.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Human greed is the root of all evil.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“you want to destabilize a country, everyone knows all you have to do is mess with their water supply or their mail.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“I’d love to chat about what the true meaning of success is when we’re living in a world that values looks instead of substance.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Oh, great. Why do people think animals are cute?” Worstley wondered aloud. “They’re just nasty.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“Grinda waited while Gustave urinated, the stream arcing straight up into the air and splashing into a bowl of lima beans, which may or may not have improved the dish. “Man, I don’t know why you guys wear clothes at all,” Gustave enthused. “Your bodies do the funnest stuff!” “Just not usually in public,” Fia grumbled.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy

“And traps me in a dungeon with some old crazy stranger and a bunch of bones.”
― Delilah S. Dawson, Kill the Farm Boy