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Kill the Farm Boy

(The Tales of Pell #1)

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3.40  ·  Rating details ·  2,927 ratings  ·  881 reviews
Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.

This is not that fairy tale.

There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.

And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.

There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's
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ebook, 384 pages
Published July 17th 2018 by Del Rey
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3.40  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,927 ratings  ·  881 reviews


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Michelle
Aug 12, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: abandoned-series
I knew that “Kill The Farm Boy” is meant to be a more light-hearted romp of an adventure story, but I really didn't find it engaging. At first I was chuckling, then rolling my eyes, then shaking my head, then getting angry -- until I couldn’t wait to get it over with.

This was advertised as a comic fantasy in the tradition of “The Princess Bride” and the “Discworld”stories, but its humor is nothing like those. The humor attacks rather than amuses, and with long sections of jokes about bodily excr
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Lyn
Jun 15, 2018 rated it liked it
There may be a sub-genre in the fantasy list about parody and satire: turning fairy tales on their backside and having some fun.

Tons o’ fun writers Kevin “I play a druid on TV” Hearne and Delilah Dawson break it all down for us in this 2018 retelling and reimagining of fairy tales. The premise is entertaining enough but the two collaborators make this better with droll word play and double entendres aplenty (and more than a handful of penis jokes – like what I did there?)

This is to the fantasy /
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Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

I’m not even gonna lie and try to say when I first heard of this title, my mind didn’t immediately go . . . .



The book wasn’t afraid to go there as well . . . .

“Worstley is eighteen, white as milk, and tall and strong with wavy blond hair and earnest blue eyes that sparkle with a call to greatness.”

It wasn’t afraid to “kill” him for most of the story either. Which left the remaining ensemble cast to . . . .



And me with a reaction t
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Tim
Oct 05, 2018 rated it did not like it
Another decent start wasted on the rest of this story. While there are some decent bit parts, it takes a complete story to make a good book. 2 of 10 stars
Amanda Kratz
Apr 14, 2018 rated it did not like it
Shelves: arcs, dnf
I gave it a good college try but I just couldn’t get through it. DNF @ 54% (and I really pushed myself to make it that far). I never DNF books and I just couldn’t get into this at all.

It is so over the top slapstick humor that it becomes detailed and boring. Yes there are many quips I laughed at and there are some clever jokes to be sure but quantity is not quality. It’s just too much all the time. It’s like watching a never ending episode of a comedy series without the heartfelt moral at the en
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Sh3lly
May 22, 2018 marked it as to-read
RELEASE DAY!



Original post:
Another wish granted by publisher, Del Rey, through Netgalley! Release date: July 17, 2018

Beth
Monty Python meets every fairy tale you could imagine plus some and you've got Kill the Farm Boy. Packed full of slap stick humor, outrageous characters and fairy tale antics to the extreme! Part of me cracked up laughing and part of me was shaking my head at the outlandishness. While reading, I couldn't help but think this book would be perfect for those who love the comedy of SPACE BALLS the movie. It was just a fun, fanciful read.

I received this ARC copy of Kill the Farm Boy from Random Hous
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Juli
Aug 30, 2018 rated it it was ok
When I heard about this book, I immediately had to read it. I love Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid series. The first book of his new Seven Kennings fantasy series, A Plague of Giants, was an awesome read as well. I like the humor in the Iron Druid series and hoped Kill the Farm Boy would have more of the same. The book blurb invoked Princess Bride, promising humor along the lines of that classic plus Terry Pratchett's Discworld. I jumped right on it....had to read it.

When I read an advanced readers co
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Robin Bonne
Apr 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
No fantasy trope or gender cliché is safe from being turned into a joke in Kill the Farm Boy. The clever writing and action packed absurdity had me laughing out loud several times.
Staph, a tricky pixie, sets Gustave the goat, and his pooboy, Worstly, on a quest because it is their destiny. Then, they meet up with more hilarious members of their questing party, including a vegetarian warrior, and a bunny-woman bard.
This book was fantastic. It dealt with many problems I have with the genre, but i
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*Thea 'Wookiee'sMama' Wilson*
Update 4th August - currently listening to the audiobook of this book now and so far the narration is excellent, just what the book needed!
_____________

Awesome! What a funny book, reading it got me more than a few odd looks from my hubby over my inane giggling bouts while reading. I've not giggled aloud quite so much over a book since I read Tom Holt's Snow White and the Seven Samurai years ago.

Lots of jokes, twists and puns on the fantasy genre and the good old fantasy norms in general made the
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Abi (The Knights Who Say Book)
(4.5 stars) I'll admit, I didn't get into this book at first. There were some funny things about it, but mostly the hype over its humor seemed exaggerated. But then something happened. I believe that something happened around the time we were introduced to Fia, the mighty warrior in bikini armor who has a bloodthirsty sword and accidentally sort of kills the farm boy, but feels very bad about it really.

This book has an amazing cast. Fia, the incredible warrior who just wants to lead a peaceful l
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Billie
Feb 26, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A Rogue.
A Bard.
A Warrior.
A Wizard.
A Goat.

Where's the Farm Boy you ask? Well, he's dead, isn't he? Did you not read the title? I mean, maybe he wasn't killed so much as died in a ridiculous and tragic accident involving a tower and a rope of hair and a seven-foot-tall warrior woman falling on him, but dead is dead. And the rest of them are going questing to find the sand witch to see if she can cure his deadness, so it's fine. It'll all be fine.

Filled with puns (not actually a selling point for
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Jessica ☕
May 09, 2017 marked it as quit-did-not-finish
Shelves: arc
Here goes a positive review for a book that I did not finish.

Doesn't appeal to my sense of humor, oddly enough, considering Mr Hearne's other works are some of my favorite in the genre. I'm the one person is the world who finds puns irritating -- it's lonely out here.

If you enjoy puns, double entendres, flowery-but-silly writing (imagine the narrator of Amelie or Pushing Daisies), jokes that go on a little too long (imagine Family Guy) or buddy-comedies, then this is the book for you.

But, alas,
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Whitley Birks
Jul 08, 2018 marked it as dnf
I requested the book on the strength of Princess Bride comparisons, which seem to have since been removed? Well, this is a hard one for me to review, because it's just not what I expected and the sales pitch I got is gone now, so...

The humor in this is very much not in line with my own, tending on the side of 'throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.' There's a heap of anachronisms, because....IDK, "just mention something modern, it worked for Robin Williams"? The attempts to mock fanta
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Kristen
Aug 06, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: adult, made-me-laugh, dnf
I kept alternating between loving it and hating it. The overall effect was kind of irritating.
Dianne
My Rating: 3.5 Stars

Strap yourself in, make sure your sense of humor is safely nestled in the crook of your arm, this nonstop ride is about to leave the station without nary a rest stop in between, which may or may not be necessary, depending on how well you can hold your puns.

Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Ahearne are running an author tag team with satire fantasy and the quips are flowing like a chocolate fountain at the All-You-Can-Eat buffet. KILL THE FARM BOY leaves no stone unturned when it c
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kimbacaffeinate
Jul 16, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audio-2018
First, I must give Luke Daniels the narrator of this tale accolades. Bravo! How did you not burst out laughing every five minutes?  Daniels range of voices and ability to deliver this tongue-in-cheek tale was brilliant. He brought the humor up a notch and endeared me to these odd characters. Now, please share the bloopers and outtakes!

You might like Kill the Farm Boy if:

You enjoy puns, slapstick humor and excessive talks of poo, phalluses, and cheese. Both Hearne and Delilah are known for thei
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Susan Hamm
Mar 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
I received free books from Penguin Random House in exchange for this review... (at Emerald City Comic Con... I also met the authors and they seem like pretty awesome folks)

This is more 4.5 stars than 4 but I can't figure out how to do half stars. I'm a huge fan of Discworld, Princess Bride and anything that plays with or satirizes fantasy tropes, and this fits the bill perfectly. The title pulled me in immediately, and if that wasn't enough, I laughed out loud at the map in front (their version
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Kira
The first third of this was hysterical. I was reading it at work and had to stop because it was too hard to refrain from laughing out loud. After that the humor fizzled out. It was still funny but only every once and a while. The journey they were on took way too long. A lot of it was just nonsense, so it would have been better if the book were a little shorter. None of the characters were particularly interesting. For the ones I did like my interest waned as the book went on. The end wasn't bad ...more
brittany
Oct 01, 2018 added it
Shelves: dnf
DNF after 15 pages, so I’m not leaving a rating. I wanted to give it more of a chance but at this point the tone & style are pretty well established and I know it’s not for me. The ‘humor’ of this book has consisted so far of jokes about poop, farts, boogers, a fairy who doesn’t bathe, and a dark lord who yells about crackers while trying to force a hedgehog and a turtle to mate. I maybe would’ve found this funny when I was ten? (Maybe.) Subverting fantasy tropes in a funny way is a fine ide ...more
The Captain
Jul 17, 2018 rated it did not like it
Shelves: abandon-ship, fantasy
Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this fantasy eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. So here be me honest musings . . .

I so wanted to like this book and here I be abandoning ship.  Sigh.  This book has a gorgeous cover and wonderful blurb.  The cover says it has puns.  I thought it was going to be a clever topsy-turvy take on fairy tales.  It had a few potentially fun characters like a talking goat and a bikini chain mail clad giantess but was too shallow in writing style to mak
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Douglas Meeks
Jul 10, 2018 rated it liked it
Giving this a 3 Star rating was a near thing and VERY subjective. This is a story that steals pieces from every fairy tale you ever heard (and a few you never heard) then throws in a basic plot that is some twisted version of "Lord of the Rings" and "The Princess Bride" which was entertaining a bit but the juvenile humor and at times just plain crude telling of the story wore thin.

While you can comfortably read this as a stand along, there are a few threads left to pursue in the next book since
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Athena Elizabeth
Feb 24, 2019 rated it liked it
"RESPECT THE UMLAUT!"

This fantasy quest parody is something like South Park meets Monty Python, on Viagra. Is that fair? It was extremely ... Punny. The map is hilarious. They poke fun of all the tropes imaginable. The book was even exciting until about 55%.

And then - I don't know what happened but they completely lost me after the umlaut scene.

The characters and their names are all parodies of something or some trope. The dark lord Toby might have been my favorite character. Argabella ended up
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~Dani~ LazyTurtle's Books
Read this review and more at Book Geeks Uncompromised!

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale.

This book is exactly as advertised. It has puns, utterly ridiculous characters, general silliness, and a chain mail bikini. Be ready for upended tropes, farm boy and goat shenanigans, and lots and lots and lots of potty humor.

Honestly, the only thing wrong with this book is that it went on too lo
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Stefan Bach
Dec 03, 2018 rated it liked it
Running-through-one-sentence-review:

Goat Gustave deserves its own spin-off trilogy; rest of the quite forgettable bunch not so much.
Rusty
Mar 23, 2018 rated it it was ok
I received and eARC of this in exchange for an unbiased review.
I like Hearne's writing and requested this book based on that. The story is really not bad. I understand they are trying to poke fun at the fantasy tropes and this sometimes causes the plot to suffer because they are fitting in a bunch of those tropes to mock. 14 year old me would have loved this book and given it five stars. 44 year old me got tired of the penis jokes. There is an elven kingdom the party ventures through called the
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Holly (The Grimdragon)
3.5 Stars~

“Peace and quiet and magic. That was what a Dark Lord wanted. Or quiet and magic and a thriving market for crossbred animals. Get a bunch of Chosen Ones running about unchecked, and one of the lot was certain to start gunning for the Darkest Lord around, assuming he had all sorts of terrible plans to call forth demons from the underworld and steal princesses and…honestly, that was just a lot of work.”

What a dong buster of a book!

Admittedly, I am not the biggest fan of puns. Give me imm
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D.L. Morrese
Jan 14, 2019 rated it liked it
As a parody of fairy tales and epic fantasy, this story is fun. The mistake the publishers made was to compare it to the works of Terry Pratchett in the blurbs on the back cover. Those raised my expectations and ultimately left me disappointed. Yes, this story is fun in a juvenile, double entendre, puns, and poop joke kind of way, but it lacks the wit, charm, and depth of a Pratchett novel. Kill the Farm Boy can, however, be legitimately compared to the Myth books by Robert Asprin or the Xanth s ...more
USOM
Jun 24, 2018 rated it really liked it
(Disclaimer: I received this free book from Netgalley. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)

I want everyone who grew up on fantasy to read this book. Not only is it incredibly clever, but it is wonderfully hilarious. I had the most fun reading this book because it takes all the tropes you know - the ones you love and hate - and turns them on your head. It's one of those books that is fun from the very core outwards. There are these witty references, but then also this so
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Megan
The story begins with our hero, Worstly (inferior brother of Bestly, and affectionately known as Pooboy, cleaner of goat poo) becoming the Chosen One and embarking on a quest with his trusty goat (well, his honest goat, who tells him over and over again what a moron he is). Unfortunately for Worstly, he dies pretty much right away. By a giant woman in a chainmail bikini. Because isn't that how all heroes die?

Despite the death of the Chosen One, a heroic troupe bands together to chase destiny. Fi
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Delilah S. Dawson writes whimsical and dark Fantasy for adults and teens. Her Blud series for Pocket includes Wicked as They Come, Wicked After Midnight, and Wicked as She Wants, winner of the RT Book Reviews Steampunk Book of the Year and May Seal of Excellence for 2013. Her YA debut, Servants of the Storm, is a Southern Gothic Horror set in Savannah, GA, and HIT is about teen assassins in a bank ...more

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The Tales of Pell (2 books)
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“Only then could he have a sad waffle with no syrup on it for breakfast. He didn’t think his mother made them properly: rumor in the village had it that waffles weren’t supposed to be gray.” 2 likes
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