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Kill the Farm Boy

(The Tales of Pell #1)

3.42  ·  Rating details ·  8,523 ratings  ·  1,732 reviews
Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.

This is not that fairy tale.

There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.

And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.

There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's
ebook, 384 pages
Published July 17th 2018 by Del Rey
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Average rating 3.42  · 
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Miranda Reads
Aug 22, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: audiobook

"I'm a pixie. Name's Staph."
"That's what I said. I'm here to change your life...The good news and the bad news is that you're the Chosen One."
Young Worstley, a farm boy, gets the surprise of a lifetime when he goes out to feed the animals and returns as the Chosen One (with Gustav the Goat by as his faithful companion).

Being relatively new at this Chosen One schtick, Worstely sets off to find a quest.
Something would go down there soon.
But for now, the lady slept.
And drooled a
Aug 12, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: abandoned-series
I knew that “Kill The Farm Boy” is meant to be a more light-hearted romp of an adventure story, but I really didn't find it engaging. At first I was chuckling, then rolling my eyes, then shaking my head, then getting angry -- until I couldn’t wait to get it over with.

This was advertised as a comic fantasy in the tradition of “The Princess Bride” and the “Discworld”stories, but its humor is nothing like those. The humor attacks rather than amuses, and with long sections of jokes about bodily exc
Jun 15, 2018 rated it liked it
There may be a sub-genre in the fantasy list about parody and satire: turning fairy tales on their backside and having some fun.

Tons o’ fun writers Kevin “I play a druid on TV” Hearne and Delilah Dawson break it all down for us in this 2018 retelling and reimagining of fairy tales. The premise is entertaining enough but the two collaborators make this better with droll word play and double entendres aplenty (and more than a handful of penis jokes – like what I did there?)

This is to the fantasy /
Oct 05, 2018 rated it did not like it
Another decent start wasted on the rest of this story. While there are some decent bit parts, it takes a complete story to make a good book and this is far from it. 2 of 10 stars
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Find all of my reviews at:

I’m not even gonna lie and try to say when I first heard of this title, my mind didn’t immediately go . . . .

The book wasn’t afraid to go there as well . . . .

“Worstley is eighteen, white as milk, and tall and strong with wavy blond hair and earnest blue eyes that sparkle with a call to greatness.”

It wasn’t afraid to “kill” him for most of the story either. Which left the remaining ensemble cast to . . . .

And me with a re
J. Treader
Apr 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, favs
Alright, this gets a GLOWING 5 stars from me.

The story alone is fantastic, but I have to stress that the audiobook is absolutely PHENOMENAL. Luke Daniels does an exceptional job, and it's honestly necessary to the full experience. You’re literally missing out without his narration and performance.

The contents of the book are done just as well. I was laughing out loud on every page. Like, I was full on cackling in a coffee shop a few times. Seriously one of the FUNNIEST books I've ever read. Ther
Amanda Kratz
Apr 14, 2018 rated it did not like it
Shelves: arcs, dnf
I gave it a good college try but I just couldn’t get through it. DNF @ 54% (and I really pushed myself to make it that far). I never DNF books and I just couldn’t get into this at all.

It is so over the top slapstick humor that it becomes detailed and boring. Yes there are many quips I laughed at and there are some clever jokes to be sure but quantity is not quality. It’s just too much all the time. It’s like watching a never ending episode of a comedy series without the heartfelt moral at the en
*Thea 'Wookiee'sMama' Wilson*
Update 4th August - currently listening to the audiobook of this book now and so far the narration is excellent, just what the book needed!

Awesome! What a funny book, reading it got me more than a few odd looks from my hubby over my inane giggling bouts while reading. I've not giggled aloud quite so much over a book since I read Tom Holt's Snow White and the Seven Samurai years ago.

Lots of jokes, twists and puns on the fantasy genre and the good old fantasy norms in general made the
Aug 30, 2018 rated it it was ok
When I heard about this book, I immediately had to read it. I love Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid series. The first book of his new Seven Kennings fantasy series, A Plague of Giants, was an awesome read as well. I like the humor in the Iron Druid series and hoped Kill the Farm Boy would have more of the same. The book blurb invoked Princess Bride, promising humor along the lines of that classic plus Terry Pratchett's Discworld. I jumped right on it....had to read it.

When I read an advanced readers co
Monty Python meets every fairy tale you could imagine plus some and you've got Kill the Farm Boy. Packed full of slap stick humor, outrageous characters and fairy tale antics to the extreme! Part of me cracked up laughing and part of me was shaking my head at the outlandishness. While reading, I couldn't help but think this book would be perfect for those who love the comedy of SPACE BALLS the movie. It was just a fun, fanciful read.

I received this ARC copy of Kill the Farm Boy from Random Hous
Robin Bonne
Apr 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
No fantasy trope or gender cliché is safe from being turned into a joke in Kill the Farm Boy. The clever writing and action packed absurdity had me laughing out loud several times.
Staph, a tricky pixie, sets Gustave the goat, and his pooboy, Worstly, on a quest because it is their destiny. Then, they meet up with more hilarious members of their questing party, including a vegetarian warrior, and a bunny-woman bard.
This book was fantastic. It dealt with many problems I have with the genre, but i
Abi (The Knights Who Say Book)
(4.5 stars) I'll admit, I didn't get into this book at first. There were some funny things about it, but mostly the hype over its humor seemed exaggerated. But then something happened. I believe that something happened around the time we were introduced to Fia, the mighty warrior in bikini armor who has a bloodthirsty sword and accidentally sort of kills the farm boy, but feels very bad about it really.

This book has an amazing cast. Fia, the incredible warrior who just wants to lead a peaceful l
Marc *Dark Reader of the Woods*
An audiobook review by someone who doesn't listen to audiobooks.

Voice actor: Luke Daniels

Pretty funny stuff. It has great fun with common fantasy and D&D tropes. I had several laugh-out-loud moments. But, it's no Terry Pratchett book.

The story builds organically, starting with a standard Chosen One scenario, a status which young farm boy Worstley is surprised to be saddled with (his brother Bestley was unavailable). The boy sets off to find his fortune, and somehow the cast of characters grows
Feb 26, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Briar's Reviews
Kill the Farm Boy is a fantastic mix of two genres: fantasy and comedy.

This book gave me Monty Python and The Princess Bride vibes. It's packed tight with comedy, all the while in a fantasy world.

A magical curse is placed in a far off kingdom, but it's not exactly like the fairy tales suggest. Suddenly, the "Chosen One" is dead and everyone must figure out how in the world they are going to complete the quest. A rabbit girl bard, a talking goat, an evil dark lord and a wicked fighter chick in a
Jul 16, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
First, I must give Luke Daniels the narrator of this tale accolades. Bravo! How did you not burst out laughing every five minutes?  Daniels range of voices and ability to deliver this tongue-in-cheek tale was brilliant. He brought the humor up a notch and endeared me to these odd characters. Now, please share the bloopers and outtakes!

You might like Kill the Farm Boy if:

You enjoy puns, slapstick humor and excessive talks of poo, phalluses, and cheese. Both Hearne and Delilah are known for th
Aug 06, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: made-me-laugh, dnf, adult
I kept alternating between loving it and hating it. The overall effect was kind of irritating.
Jessica Rodrigues [decafJess]
May 09, 2017 marked it as quit-reading
Shelves: arc
Here goes a positive review for a book that I did not finish.

Doesn't appeal to my sense of humor, oddly enough, considering Mr Hearne's other works are some of my favorite in the genre. I'm the one person is the world who finds puns irritating -- it's lonely out here.

If you enjoy puns, double entendres, flowery-but-silly writing (imagine the narrator of Amelie or Pushing Daisies), jokes that go on a little too long (imagine Family Guy) or buddy-comedies, then this is the book for you.

But, alas,
Whitley Birks
Jul 08, 2018 marked it as dnf
I requested the book on the strength of Princess Bride comparisons, which seem to have since been removed? Well, this is a hard one for me to review, because it's just not what I expected and the sales pitch I got is gone now, so...

The humor in this is very much not in line with my own, tending on the side of 'throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.' There's a heap of anachronisms, because....IDK, "just mention something modern, it worked for Robin Williams"? The attempts to mock fanta
Timothy Boyd
I LOVE Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid series, they are some of my top favorite books. I was looking forward to seeing what he did with a new series, even with a co-author. I am not sure if it is the co-authoring that didn't do it for me but I really could not get into this book. The Iron Druid books have humor and satire scattered through them but it is an accent to the plot. This book seemed to only be strings of satire and quips strung together to tray and make a plot of them. I won't be trying the ...more
My Rating: 3.5 Stars

Strap yourself in, make sure your sense of humor is safely nestled in the crook of your arm, this nonstop ride is about to leave the station without nary a rest stop in between, which may or may not be necessary, depending on how well you can hold your puns.

Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Ahearne are running an author tag team with satire fantasy and the quips are flowing like a chocolate fountain at the All-You-Can-Eat buffet. KILL THE FARM BOY leaves no stone unturned when it c
The Captain
Jul 17, 2018 rated it did not like it
Shelves: abandon-ship, fantasy
Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this fantasy eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. So here be me honest musings . . .

I so wanted to like this book and here I be abandoning ship.  Sigh.  This book has a gorgeous cover and wonderful blurb.  The cover says it has puns.  I thought it was going to be a clever topsy-turvy take on fairy tales.  It had a few potentially fun characters like a talking goat and a bikini chain mail clad giantess but was too shallow in writing style to mak
A friend picked this ARC up for me awhile ago because she was sure I would be delighted by this wordplayery story.
After I gave up on my other Lunchtime Reading title, I started on this and quickly found I was not delighted.
I made it halfway through but when the dread of having to read this while eating became overbearing, I gave up and called it quits.

It's just too much. I'm a fan of satire and bawdy humor and stupid puns and ridiculous for the sake of ridiculous but you've got to be amazing wit
The first third of this was hysterical. I was reading it at work and had to stop because it was too hard to refrain from laughing out loud. After that the humor fizzled out. It was still funny but only every once and a while. The journey they were on took way too long. A lot of it was just nonsense, so it would have been better if the book were a little shorter. None of the characters were particularly interesting. For the ones I did like my interest waned as the book went on. The end wasn't bad ...more
Susan Hamm
Mar 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
I received free books from Penguin Random House in exchange for this review... (at Emerald City Comic Con... I also met the authors and they seem like pretty awesome folks)

This is more 4.5 stars than 4 but I can't figure out how to do half stars. I'm a huge fan of Discworld, Princess Bride and anything that plays with or satirizes fantasy tropes, and this fits the bill perfectly. The title pulled me in immediately, and if that wasn't enough, I laughed out loud at the map in front (their version
b. t.
Oct 01, 2018 added it
Shelves: dnf
DNF after 15 pages, so I’m not leaving a rating. I wanted to give it more of a chance but at this point the tone & style are pretty well established and I know it’s not for me. The ‘humor’ of this book has consisted so far of jokes about poop, farts, boogers, a fairy who doesn’t bathe, and a dark lord who yells about crackers while trying to force a hedgehog and a turtle to mate. I maybe would’ve found this funny when I was ten? (Maybe.) Subverting fantasy tropes in a funny way is a fine idea, b ...more
Jun 20, 2019 marked it as dreaded-dnf
I downloaded this audio from my local library, but it's just not working for me. DNF, no rating. ...more
Douglas Meeks
Jul 10, 2018 rated it liked it
Giving this a 3 Star rating was a near thing and VERY subjective. This is a story that steals pieces from every fairy tale you ever heard (and a few you never heard) then throws in a basic plot that is some twisted version of "Lord of the Rings" and "The Princess Bride" which was entertaining a bit but the juvenile humor and at times just plain crude telling of the story wore thin.

While you can comfortably read this as a stand along, there are a few threads left to pursue in the next book since
Lauren Stoolfire
I don't know about you, but I thought that Kill the Farm Boy by Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne was absolutely hilarious. I love the styles of both authors, and for the most part this series opener checked almost all the right boxes for me. I have a feeling you'll love this if you're a fan of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and The Princess Bride.

Athena (OneReadingNurse)

This fantasy quest parody is something like South Park meets Monty Python, on Viagra. Is that fair? It was extremely ... Punny. The map is hilarious. They poke fun of all the tropes imaginable. The book was even exciting until about 55%.

And then - I don't know what happened but they completely lost me after the umlaut scene.

The characters and their names are all parodies of something or some trope. The dark lord Toby might have been my favorite character. Argabella ended up
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Delilah S. Dawson is the New York Times-bestselling author of Star Wars: Phasma, Black Spire: Galaxy's Edge, and The Perfect Weapon. With Kevin Hearne, she writes the Tales of Pell. As Lila Bowen, she writes the Shadow series, beginning with Wake of Vultures. Her other books include the Blud series, the Hit series, and Servants of the Storm.

She's written comics in the worlds of Marvel Action: Spid

Other books in the series

The Tales of Pell (3 books)
  • No Country for Old Gnomes (The Tales of Pell, #2)
  • The Princess Beard (The Tales of Pell, #3)

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