Carry the Ocean Quotes

“sometimes I feel like everyone else is carrying a bucket of water but I’m trying to carry an ocean. its very hard. sometimes I would rather not carry my ocean, even if it meant I couldn’t be alive.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“When you have an invisible disease, your sickness isn’t your biggest problem. What you end up battling more than anything else, every single day, is other people.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“No one is normal. Normal is a lie.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Frankly, I’m awesome, and anybody who doesn’t agree should get out of my way.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Depression is having a crowd of dementors live in your head twenty-four/seven.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“my emotions feel loud and big. its hard for me to keep hold of them. they weigh me down. make me heavy and tired and overwhelmed. sometimes I feel like everyone else is carrying a bucket of water but I’m trying to carry an ocean. its very hard. sometimes I would rather not carry my ocean, even if it meant I couldn’t be alive.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“I am normal. I belong. I have a friend who can kick ass from a wheelchair. I live independently and get good grades. I'm an excellent lover.

Like I said. I'm awesome. I'm Emmet David Washington. Train Man. The best autistic Blues Brother on the block.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Remember having a panic attack isn’t a failure, and not having one isn’t a success. Success is not letting the attacks run your life”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“That's my ocean. I have to pretend as best I can to be like people on the mean so people don't call me a robot. I'm not a robot. I'm real and I have feelings the same as everyone else. And I want a boyfriend. Except my ocean doesn't make me want to be dead. It makes me want to fight. I want you to fight too, Jeremey. I want us to carry our oceans together.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Sometimes I liked him for his smile. Sometimes I liked him because he didn’t smile. Sometimes I got an erection because of the way he brushed his hair away from his face. It didn’t matter to my brain that these were odd reasons to care for someone. My brain, my body, my everything wanted to be Jeremey’s boyfriend.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“It’s like Elwood Blues says: everybody needs somebody to love. I’m an everybody. I get a somebody.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“People are good medicine, but they can’t be your foundation of functionality. You must build that yourself.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“I really am Super Emmet, and like the comic book Superman, I have a powerful secret weapon. My mom.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“I don’t think people understand about suicidal thoughts. They act as if everyone who makes an attempt is looking for attention.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“There is no normal, not really. Not a right and a wrong way to be. But there is belonging. That day in Bohemia with Jeremey and David and the girls, I belonged. I belonged as much as anybody on the mean. Maybe even a little bit more.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“There is no normal, not really. Not a right and a wrong way to be. But there is belonging.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“There is no normal. There is not an invisible bar you must meet to be acceptable to society.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“I can't live in the dorms and I can't stop people from calling me a freak, but I can always solve for X.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Mental illness is no different than a heart condition. In the same way a faulty valve can cause harm to the body and require medication and care, so does a malfunctioning brain. Insanity is a crude, culturally loaded term setting the sufferer apart in a way which will not aid the patient’s recovery. The way we regard those whose brains hinder them with fault or injury is a prejudice, not a diagnosis.” Dr. North”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Nothing in the world is the same as anything else, so how can anyone be normal?”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“I want us to carry our oceans together.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“I tried to think. How did Jeremy usually feel? "Nervous, maybe." I brightened. "Yes—nervous. Not a guess."
"Jeremy is that correct?"
"Yes, mostly."
"Excellent. Good job, Emmet. Can you tell us how you knew?"
I smiled a big smile, proud I'd gotten it right. "Because of his hands. His face is too complicated for me to tell what he's feeling, but he keeps fidgeting his hands. That's like when I want to flap. It's kind of the same thing, except hand-flaps are bigger and make people stare at me.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“HERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE of why it's wrong to say autistic people don't feel emotions. I felt very emotional about David, but usually I could make modifications so I didn't have to let my emotions take over. Thought I yelled and hit him, I still kept most of my feelings to myself, until I went to my room and could let them out. It's not nice for people to say I'm unemotional because I'm better than they are at management.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Everybody needs somebody to love. I'm an everybody. I get a somebody.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“That's the big thing that I learned this year: it's okay to go slow. That everybody else's pace and definition of success isn't mine. What is easy for other people isn't necessarily do for me. Though some things are easy for me and hard for other people.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Everything will change, if you wait long enough.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“My anger and sadness was my ocean, and I couldn’t carry it. Not anymore. No one could really love me. Not when they could love somebody else instead.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“it’s okay to go slow. That everybody else’s pace and definition of success isn’t mine. What is easy for other people isn’t necessarily so for me. Though some things are easy for me and hard for other people.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“Mrs. Samson is a bitch, Mom.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean

“The class I took was Calculus 3 so it wasn't hard for me and made a smart choice for a summer program.”
― Heidi Cullinan, Carry the Ocean