The Twilight Home Quotes

“The clock declared exercise hour. Its glass door swung open, the pendulum lunged forward, and the hands jumped ahead by exactly sixty minutes. ‘It isn’t interested in fitness,’ Ms. Vance said. ‘It’s punishing everyone for the décor.’ Patrons groaned and began stretching with resigned dread.”
― Belinda Kelderhouse, The Twilight Home: Weird and wonderful tales of life and death at a rather unusual retirement home…

“Hydration Specialist!’ the cooler corrected sharply, its plastic chassis vibrating with indignation. It dispensed three ounces of clear liquid into a paper cone cup. Miller took a sip and immediately coughed violently. ‘Is this vodka?!’ ‘You’re wound tighter than the clock’s mainspring, mate. Drink it down.”
― Belinda Kelderhouse, The Twilight Home: Weird and wonderful tales of life and death at a rather unusual retirement home…

“MUUUAHAHAHA! TREMBLE, MORTAL! FEAR THE EVER‑PRESENT TOUCH OF THE REAPER!’ Bob’s plastic scythe bent at a forty‑five‑degree angle as he struck a dramatic pose in squeaky orthopedic sneakers. The Truth Parrot added, ‘He says, despite overwhelming empirical evidence that no human being has been frightened by his antics since the late winter of 1994.”
― Belinda Kelderhouse, The Twilight Home: Weird and wonderful tales of life and death at a rather unusual retirement home…

“The cat’s body had the general shape of a beanbag chair that had learned to walk.”
― Belinda Kelderhouse, The Twilight Home: Weird and wonderful tales of life and death at a rather unusual retirement home…

“Hanging proudly above the marble mantelpiece was the source of the Manor’s indigestion: a massive, cheaply framed, mass‑produced 1970s oil painting. The canvas assaulted the eye with geometric shapes in saturated oranges and muddy greens, clashing so violently with the dignified mahogany paneling that Miller’s eyes strained trying to make sense of the chaos.”
― Belinda Kelderhouse, The Twilight Home: Weird and wonderful tales of life and death at a rather unusual retirement home…