A Royal Pain Quotes

“But flirting does not come easily to someone brought up in a remote castle with tartan wallpaper in the bathrooms, bagpipes at dawn and men who wear kilts.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“Idealistic? Ruddy stupid, if you'll pardon the language, miss,: Mr Roberts said. "All this talk about power for the people and down with the ruling classes and everyone should govern themselves. It can never happen, I told him. The ruling classes are born to rule. They know how to do it. You take a person like you or me and you put us up there to run a country and we'd make a ruddy mess of it.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“Fill in?” she demanded. “For the weekend?” She winced as if each of these words were causing her pain. “I am afraid we do not handle that sort of thing.” By that she implied that I had requested a stripper straight from the Casbah. So”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“We have to get rid of pain in ass. She will not let me have good time. We should take her out.”
“Take her out where?”
Hanni grinned. “You know. Take her out. Waste her. Bang bang. Curtains.”
“Hanni, I don’t think we’re going to be able to waste the baroness, but I agree she’s not going to make things pleasant for us.”
“Then we must plan way to make her go home.”
“Make it not nice for her here. She likes to eat. Serve her very little food.”
“For someone straight from the convent, you are quite devious,” I said.
“What means devious?”
“Sneaky.”
“Oh, like pulling a fast one,” she said, beaming. “Yeah. Sure thing, baby.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“The baroness swept into the room like an avenging black angel, her cape streaming out behind her. If looks could kill, we’d have been sprawled on the carpet.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“Wow, holy cow, hubba hubba, gee whiz. That was some guy. Don’t tell me he’s your main squeeze!”
“My what?”
“Your honey. Your sugar. Isn’t that right word?”
“In England we’re a little less colorful with our language.
“So you say it?”
“Boyfriend? Escort?”
“And is he?”
“Obviously not anymore,” I said with a sigh.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“Hanni, I’m going to have to watch you carefully. You may break a lot of hearts in London.”
“What am I to break?” she asked with that lovely innocent smile.
“Hearts. Lots of Englishmen will fall in love with you.”
“I hope so,” she said. “I’m gonna be hot sexy dame. You can give me tips.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“If he doesn't want me then I'm not going to throw myself at him." - Georgie (Chapter 3)”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“I looked up to see my mother entering the room.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“A peacock was calling from the copse nearby—that unearthly shriek that sounds like a soprano being killed with a saw.”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain

“I heard a nearby church clock chiming the hour. Five. Crowds”
― Rhys Bowen, A Royal Pain