The Slippery Slope Quotes

“Well-read people are less likely to be evil.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“If you feel . . . that well-read people are less likely to be evil, and a world full of people sitting quietly with good books in their hands is preferable to world filled with schisms and sirens and other noisy and troublesome things, then every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, 'The world is quiet here,' as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“The central theme of Anna Karenina," he said, "is that a rural life of moral simplicity, despite its monotony, is the preferable personal narrative to a daring life of impulsive passion, which only leads to tragedy."

"That is a very long theme," the scout said.

"It's a very long book," Klaus replied.

[...]

"Or maybe a daring life of impulsive passion leads to something else," the scout said, and in some cases this mysterious person was right. A daring life of impulsive passion is an expression which refers to people who follow what is in their hearts, and like people who prefer to follow their head, or follow a mysterious man in a dark blue raincoat, people who lead a daring life of impulsive passion end up doing all sorts of things.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“For Beatrice, when we first met,
I was lonely, and you were pretty.
Now I am pretty lonely.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean that it's nonsense.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, "The world is quiet here," as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person, but it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands."
Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations."
"But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Fight Fire with Fire”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“If everyone fought fire with fire, the entire world would go up in smoke.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“The song is called “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” and it is one of the saddest songs ever composed. It tells the story of a small spider who is trying to climb up a water spout, but every time its climb is half over, there is a great burst of water, either due to rain or somebody turning the spout on, and at the end of the song, the spider has decided to try one more time, and will likely be washed away once again.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. [...] The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Very lovely indeed"
—Quigley responding to Violet's comment about the view, while actually looking at her.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Like an envelope, a hollow figurine, and a coffin, a refrigerator can hold all sorts of things, and they may turn out to be very important depending on what kind of day you are having. A refrigerator may hold an icepack, for example, which would be important if you had been wounded. A refrigerator may hold a bottle of water, which would be important if you were dying of thirst. And a refrigerator may hold a basket of strawberries, which would be important if a maniac said to you, “If you don’t give me a basket of strawberries right now, I’m going to poke you with this large stick.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“What might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“It is often said that if you have a room with a view, you will feel peaceful and relaxed, but if the room is a caravan hurtling down a steep and twisted road, and the view is an eerie mountain range racing backward away from you, while chilly mountain winds sting your face and toss dust into your eyes, then you will not feel one bit of peace and relaxation.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“I think everyone's parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“There’s lots of sticky things here,” he said. “I see blackstrap molasses, wild clover honey, corn syrup, aged balsamic vinegar, apple butter, strawberry jam, caramel sauce, maple syrup, butterscotch topping, maraschino liqueur, virgin and extra-virgin olive oil, lemon curd, dried apricots, mango chutney, crema di noci, tamarind paste, hot mustard, marshmallows, creamed corn, peanut butter, grape preserves, salt water taffy, condensed milk, pumpkin pie filling, and glue.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Klaus leaned out the window and began to pour the mixture of blackstrap molasses, wild clover honey, corn syrup, aged balsamic vinegar, apple butter, strawberry jam, caramel sauce, maple syrup, butterscotch topping, maraschino liqueur, virgin and extra-virgin olive oil, lemon curd, dried apricots, mango chutney, crema di noci, tamarind paste, hot mustard, marshmallows, creamed corn, peanut butter, grape preserves, salt water taffy, condensed milk, pumpkin pie filling, and glue onto the closest wheels, while his sister tossed the hammocks out of the door, and if you have read anything of the Baudelaire orphans' lives - which I hope you have not - then you will not be surprised to read that Violet's invention worked perfectly.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Like an envelope, a hollow figurine, and a coffin, a refrigerator can hold all sorts of things, and they may turn out to be very important depending on what kind of day you are having.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“A rural life of moral simplicity, despite its monotony, is the preferable personal narrative to a daring life of impulsive passion, which only leads to tragedy.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope