Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Quotes

“I love romantic comedies. I feel almost sheepish writing that, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years or so that admitting you like these movies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity. But that has not stopped me from watching them.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“When most people sing karaoke, they think of themselves as contestants on American Idol, and they sing and perform their hearts out. But I really think people should be thinking of themselves more as temporary DJs for the party. It’s kind of a responsibility. It’s up to you to sing a kick-ass upbeat song that sets the mood for your friends to have fun, drink, and pick up girls and guys.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“In my entire life, I never once heard either of my parents say they were stressed. That was just not a phrase I grew up being allowed to say. That, and the concept of “Me time.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“One good thing about New York is that most people function daily while in a low-grade depression.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“I love diet soda; when I drink juice or regular soda it makes my blood sugar spike and I act like a cracked out Rachael Ray, but without the helpful household tips.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“I’ll get you, you clique-y sons of bitches,” I thought. You know what? I never did get them. I’m just realizing now. I should totally still get them.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world. Then I just lap it up. There is no difference between Ripley from Alien and any Katherine Heigl character. They’re all participating in the same level of made-up awesomeness, and I enjoy every second of it.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“We clung to each other with blind loyalty, like Lord Voldemort and his snake, Nagini. I, of course, was Nagini. If you messed with one of us, you knew you messed with both of us, and Voldemort was going to cast a murder spell on you, or Nagini was going to chomp on your jugular.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“Also, I find it extremely impossible not to cry when I hear Stevie Nicks’s “Landslide,” especially the lyric: “I’ve been afraid of changing, because I’ve built my life around you.” I think a good test to see if a human is actually a robot/android/cylon is to have them listen to this song lyric and study their reaction. If they don’t cry, you should stab them through the heart. You will find a fusebox.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“The laws of bullying allow you to be cruel even when the victim had made strides for improvement? This is when I realized that bullies have no code of conduct.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“From now on, let’s all agree that hooking up = sex. Everything else is “made out.” And if you’re older than twenty-eight, then just kissing someone doesn’t count for crap and is not even worth mentioning. Unless you’re Mormon, in which case you’re going to hell.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“Guys I’ve dated have been into me the way I am; and (4) I’m pretty happy with the way I look, so long as I don’t break a beach chair.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“It sounds odd, but cheerful is very hard to find in Los Angeles. I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“It is confusing, I know. Based on my ethnicity, the number of friends I had as a kid, my build, my eyesight, and my desire to please my parents, I should have been the reigning Spelling Bee champion from ages 7 to 14.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“Without knowing me at all, Gail nicknamed me Minds. I respond very well to people being overly familiar with me a little too soon. It shows effort and kindness. I try to do this all the time. It makes me feel like part of a big familial Olive Garden-y community.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“Not knowing people's names isn't a neurological condition; it's a choice.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“If you're scared of something, that isn't a sign that you have to do it. It probably means you shouldn't do it. Call mom or dad immediately.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“I will miss her dearly, and I hope that she is up in heaven right now watching us and smiling, even though deep down I know that if there is an afterlife, she's a pretty much open-and-shut case for hell. RIP.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?:

“(2) I would like to be friends with Beyoncé Knowles.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“then how Beyoncé should release a country album,”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“Because I was largely overlooked at school, I watched everyone like an observant weirdo, not unlike Eugene Levy’s character Dr. Allan Pearl in Waiting for Guffman, who “sat next to the class clown, and studied him.” But I did that with everyone. It has helped me so much as a writer; you have no idea.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“The job of comedy writer is essentially to sit and have funny conversations about hypothetical situations, and you are rewarded for originality of detail.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“For example, I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.” For heaven’s sake, if you don’t know someone’s name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, “Nice to see you!” and make weak eye contact.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“I’m the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“write your own part. It is the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“Mindy wore a lot of hats. Ivy League graduate, actor, comedian, playwright, inveterate gossip, weirdly pro-gun Republican, outspoken advocate of conspicuous”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“like eavesdropping on women my age. Besides being titillating, it also helps me gauge where I’m at in comparison. Am I normal? Am I doing the correct trendy cardio exercises? Am I reading the right books? Is gluten still lame? Is soap cool again, or is body wash still the way to go? It was through eavesdropping that I learned that you could buy fresh peanut butter at Whole Foods from a machine that grinds it in front of you.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“SOMETIMES I bring a script I’m working on to a restaurant and sit near people and eavesdrop on them. I could rationalize it—Oh, this is good anthropological research for characters I’m writing—but it’s basically just nosiness. I especially”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it’s cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship.”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“The reason I pull Irish exits is not because I think I’m too busy and cool to be bothered with pleasantries. It’s that when there is a gathering of more than thirty people I don’t want to waste your time with hellos and good-byes. I think it’s actually the more polite thing to do, because I’m not coercing partygoers into some big farewell moment with me. Then other people feel like they have to stop what they’re doing and hug me, too. It’s time-wasting dominoes. Irish exits are supposed to be subtle, a way to leave without creating a disruption,”
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?