Making Money Quotes

“Insanity is catching.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“A weapon you held and didn't know how to use belonged to your enemy.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel!”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“People don't like change. But make the change fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“And what had he wanted? He'd never sat down to think about it. But mostly, he wanted yesterday to be different from today.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“But what's worth more than gold?"

"Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that?”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity. ”
― Terry Pratchett , Making Money

“The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“They were indeed what was known as 'old money', which meant that it had been made so long ago that the black deeds which had originally filled the coffers were now historically irrelevant. Funny, that: a brigand for a father was something you kept quiet about, but a slave-taking pirate for a great-great-great-grandfather was something to boast of over the port. Time turned the evil bastards into rogues, and rogue was a word with a twinkle in its eye and nothing to be ashamed of.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“A banker? Me?"
"Yes, Mr. Lipwig."
"But I don't know anything about running a bank!"
"Good. No preconceived ideas."
"I've robbed banks!"
"Capital! Just reverse your thinking," said Lord Vetinari, beaming. "The money should be on the inside.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“This looks like a job for inadvisably applied magic if ever I saw one.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?"

"Only a man would think of that.

It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Is that all, sir? Only we've got stuff to finish before our knocking-off time, you see, and if we stay late we have to make more money to pay our overtime, and if the lads is a bit tired we ends up earning the money faster'n we can make it, which leads to a bit of what I can only call a conundrum—"

"You mean that if you do overtime you have to do more overtime to pay for it?" said Moist, still pondering how illogical logical thinking can be if a big enough committee is doing it.

"That's right, sir," said Shady. "And down that road madness lies."

"It's a very short road," said Moist, nodding.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'
Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'
Ha ha,' agreed Moist.
Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'
Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.
Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“He’d forgotten the ancient wisdom: take care, when you are closely observing, that you are not closely observed.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“I think it is just a matter of getting into the mind of the writer,” Vetinari went on, looking at a letter covered with grubby fingerprints and what looked like the remains of someone’s breakfast. He added: “In some cases, I imagine, there is a lot of room.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Plans can break down. You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“They are tragic,' said Vetinari, 'and we laugh at their tragedy as we laugh at our own. The painted grin leers out at us from the darkness, mocking our insane belief in order, logic, status, the reality of reality. The mask knows that we are born on the banana skin that leads only to the open manhole cover of doom, and all we can hope for are the cheers of the crowd.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“The gods help those who help themselves, and my word, didn't I help myself.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Why are you always in such a hurry, Mr. Lipwig?”

“Because people don’t like change. But make the change happen fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“There was no himself in himself.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth."
"Really? Why not?"
"I don't know, thur. I didn't athk.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“The Igor position on prayer is that it is nothing more than hope with a beat to it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money