Unplugged Quotes

“I froze like a startled bunny. Fumbling the disk into my purse, I cut my eyes toward the hallway.

Had I locked the front door?

Of course I had. Only a moron would break into someone’s house and forget to lock the door.

Damn it! I’d forgotten to lock the door.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Not surprisingly, the kitchen was the most interesting, but only because I discovered a package of Oreos in the cupboard.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“If at 1st you don't succeed, stretch out on your La-Z-Boy with a six-pack and a porn flick. Y' still won't succeed, but you sure as hell won't give a shift.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“If money don't buy happiness, what the hell does?”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“A friend is someone who will bike to the ice cream shop with you, even when you don't look so good.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“I don't trust nobody that don't have my name tattooed on her ass, and then it's iffy.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Sometimes stupid is crime enough.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Celibacy sucks, no pun intended.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“Lust and love. They both put a fire in your damn shorts.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged

“You don't need to be smarter; you just need dumber friends.”
― Lois Greiman, Unplugged