nadia | notabookshelf > Recent Status Updates

can i just say that i'm yet to see aaron actually being homophobic? the fandom makes it look like he's the og asshole and harasses neil all the time but the only homophobe in this entire series had died in tfc. aaron is jealous-protective-suspicious. and nicky is objectively gross sometimes. aaron aims at med school & plays exy & is not allowed to openly date his gf & sleeps like 2h a day.... like. come on

oh yeah i'm in another realm called The Shower Scen right about now so don't expect coherence except for like, holy shit, it's always yes with you, wow

"Kevin made a cutting gesture at him and stormed out" just say he flipped neil off zknszkjszk

the worst is over and im done for today i think. i'm so disoriented, just like the first time, it's unreal

*chanting* fox nest fox nest fox nest fox nest

"I'd have a hell of a time fitting 'Wesninski' on a jersey" i need you to know i finally broke down and am actually crying right now

"get away from us" — "he's hurt. let me see him" – "if you make me repeat myself you will not live to regret it" is just so feral. i have no other word for it. it's like. don't touch what's mine because it was once taken away and now i will never let it out of my sight. it's also so fucking desperate. when will andrew stop making me feel so much

townes: if they still want you, i'll eat my hat
neil: chew chew bitch

this bitch is drugged with painkillers having just lived the worst day of his life and he has the audacity to "i hate baseball" the fbi. i would literally die for him

STUART BARGING IN THE LAST POSSIBLE FUCKING SECOND IS E X A C T L Y WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY I UNDERSTAND THIS BOOK IS A HOT FUCKING MESS BUT I FUCKING FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME AND YES I AM HAVING A BREAKDOWN HELLO

"He traced the outline of a key into his bloody, burnt palm with a shaky finger, closed his eyes, and wished Neil Josten goodbye" alternatively known to the world as "welcome to Hell"

you know when you're like. scared. and anxious at the same time. you're like. cold all over. and you have to force breathing. yeah. that's. that's what it's like reading neil looking at the foxes "for the last time"

i can't stop thinking about how this is the exact conversation that must've been running through andrew's mind making him go crazy when neil disappeared because he understood why neil asked to take back protection. please hold me

here we go and i for one am not ready. wow

andrew, who would kill a man on sight if kevin was ever touched, now absolutely fucking smitten with neil who happens to be said man: you'll what

"And as you've always said, you want nothing." PLEASE give me an actual footage of andrew's face.... this is where he hated neil the most

ive got a lot to say but i wont say it anywhere online jkjzjsiz except that. neil is so whipped

i can't stop OR shut up so i'm back.
neil: yeah they vandalized my school last time so i'm shutting up
neil: ...
neil: ...
neil: you know wh-

i know what's coming in the chapter after the next one so im gonna take a break goodbye

"What are you hoping for, coordinates?" i don't even have valid reactions for you, i'm just like, "damn", every time, and that's it

robin is the one neil held on to despite kevin's protests, correct? i really do need to check back in with the extra content but i'm weak and i'll cry laeve me aelone.....

"but if he really cared about what was smart he wouldn't have come here in the first place." neil josten said stupid rights and i love him [2]

THIS?? HERE?? i know pages 169-171 by heart. off the top of my head. you are always going to be nothing–every time you say that i believe you a little less–i won't let you let me be. here. that's all it takes to make me weep

"You gave me a key and called it home." bye

just wanna point out how observant neil is: he knows the difference between lack of attachment and the need to cover up real feelings by pretending to lack attachment (the former would suggest andrew wouldn't care about the inheritance as in, he wouldn't treat it differently from the rest of his funds, and not hate it so much that he'd waste it on purpose). which is why he figures out andrew.

do i know it's gonna be alright? yes i do. is my heart still breaking when i'm reading about neil's panic attack-calling andrew to pick him up because he's overwhelmed with potentially missed opportunities like never being a captain and never making court? yeah. yeah it is

i know it's not funny but it IS that neil's like my summer plans are dying and getting killed. can't captain your team in september sorry

49. 49. 49 :) :) i am losing my mind!

kevin being a fan of usc is so endearing and funny and also amazing. it's um. kevin day loving hours on this account all day every day

Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Wesninski. Nathaniel. Jr. bitch. how did i even finish reading these books i'm such a soft bitch and i get attached to characters how did i HANDLE all that (hint: i absolutely fucking didn't and now it's only worse)