max theodore > Recent Status Updates

such an emphasis on his feet.

bitches will study the aeneid once and get excited when they recognize patronymics

“One of his companions was even a woman: Dacey Mormont, Lady Maege’s eldest daughter and heir to Bear Island, a lanky six-footer who had been given a morningstar at an age when most girls were given dolls.” new wife spotted

…thou misshapen dick…

okay this is on hold now as i have no idea when i'll have time to read the odyssey but i DID finish the iliad and MAN that greek poetry can epic!

vassily kuragin… 2!!!

i can’t take the name osha seriously i’m just like. osha violation

the “i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass” meme actually goes all the way back to 762 BC when achilles fought that fucking river

i know [spoiler] means the whole realm is about to go to shit for everyone but i cannot bring myself to be sad about it lmfao FUCK that old man

“Most of the time middle school sucks even worse [than high school], but middle school is so pathetic that I can’t even bring myself to write about it” oh so true bestie

well that. escalated

DICKIE, YOUR BOY

kind of cringe of me to be this attached to aeneas theaeneid but at least i’m in good company seeing as the gods have saved his ass twice now. anyway if i’m actually frothing at the mouth a little about the fact that he’s saved because he always gave dutiful gifts to the gods (YOU KNOW. PIETY. ALL OF IT COMING BACK TO PIETY ALWAYS) no i’m not

280 PAGES IN AND THE HORSE STARTS TALKING?

the last thing i was expecting was mlm/wlw bi4bi solidarity appearing in the last nine yards of this but i’m so fucking here for it

okay yeah i definitely read this one but i remember so little that it’s like reading for the first time anyway. ideal

WINTER TAKING OFF THE SKYFIRE TO TELL MOON TO WAKE HIM UP. IM OKAY IM OKAY IM FINE

“How could Moon be immersed in other minds all day and still believe in the goodness of dragons?” it’s about… the hope inherent in every single installment of this series

“As often happened with Moon, he couldn’t tell if she was joking.” look… moon autistic. it’s in the stars

i genuinely can’t remember if i’ve read this one before? i didn’t think i had but the prologue feels… familiar

:(

okay i may have written off the bi rep too early i think we’re having an Arc About It lets gooooo

aeneas 🤝 hector
booty shorts that say "the gods won't let me die as i am a star in their cosmic pageant of death"

i love this every 20 pages agamemnon is like what if we left and everyone else is like you dumb fucking idiot you absolute buffoon we are nine years of sunk cost into this fallacy. bitch

OH MY GOD HE’S RICHARD III’S DAD. THST ONE TOOK A BEAT TOO FUCKING LONG

SHE REALLY IS THE GIRLBOSS SUPREME…

“and, it was whispered, notoriously uninterested in the intimate charms of women” i KNOW this book was published in 1990 i have no clue why germ’s euphemisms are this funny to me. say a slur george it’s okay i’ll let you reclaim it *surreptitiously hitting record on my phone*

“I figure if I just skip the history plays (who really gives a shit about all those Richards and Henrys, anyway?)” oh SO true