Rai (is hard to please) > Recent Status Updates

“She hadn’t believed him. She had truly thought he was making it up.”

Why? Why are u questioning THAT, of all things, when you’ve already accepted that magic is a thing and you have it.

“Greer dulled her gaze”

*Wince*

“You met her before?”

So… we’re just ignoring the Paladin Society comment? Ight.

“You had nothing to do with her attack?”

Even tho ik he’s telling the truth, why tf is she so ready to believe him?

“They wouldn’t have been able to flee the house, due to the sun, and would have had to bunker down somewhere while the police conducted their investigation.”

Firstly: hunker down*
Secondly: Didn’t we establish that the entire reason they chose that house was it’s proximity to the shelter of the forest? That’s how Cian was able to get there during the day the first time Celeste tracked him down.

“a woman doing a welfare check on her elderly aunt”

How is Celeste able to just… lie to the police??

“Vision clearing, the gnashing of Jonas’ teeth came into full volume.”

came into view*
Jonas’ gnashing teeth crystallized before her eyes*

“Thrashed” -> thrusted*
“Yield her away” -> fend her off*

“the hems of her socks soaking in the mist”

not the time to tell us about her s o c k s

“A saltwater fish tank bubbled behind a set of the chairs, and it coated the lobby in a light algae scent.”

“A saltwater fish tank bubbled behind a set of the chairs, the light scent of algae permeating* the lobby.”

Yw.

“She donned a pair of sunglasses as she drove.”

This is just so.. tonally inappropriate rn.
Try:
- “she fumbled clumsily for the sunglasses in her glove compartment . . .”
or
- “she might’ve grabbed the sunglasses out of her glove compartment, had she possessed the capacity to remember they were there”

“Greer froze.
A missing infant named Greer with gray eyes.”

The name wasn’t confirmation enough? You needed the description before you realized what you were looking at?? 🧍

Stealing the baby clothes too is so out of pocket

Why are Holly’s case files even here? In a University staff library??

For the criminology department? Why would THIS case warrant studying?

“landing on the form that linked archive locations to the search engine”

Just call it the search engine home screen for the LOVE of GOD

“Each shelf was stuffed with books, boxes, folders, and additional organization methods overflowing with loose papers.”

Additional… organization… methods 🫠
Might as well say “etc.”

“Her heart thundered in her chest as the elevator jolted and then descended.”

Dramatic

“It was mostly made up of private rooms clad from floor to ceiling with glass walls so security could make sure no one was doing drugs or hooking up on the tables.”

Eye- bestie, what?? This is a university. These are adults. Even if they WERE getting up to that tomfoolery, stay out of it. They payed to be here.

“The books she had clenched under her arm tumbled to the ground.”

How dare you

“Her fingers grazed the spines at eye level, the books vertically lined in alphabetical order based on author name.”

Hewitt. Hewitt, please. We’re readers. We understand bookstores.

How is she able to see the stars in the city??

“The mixture dripped onto the carpet, where puddles of water and wax were forming within the fibers.”

NOT THE CARPET
MY HEART

“This is stupid.”

I feel like you’re not making a big enough deal about spontaneously understanding a foreign language

Why should I care about her chicken alfredo rn?

Not her introducing herself??? 😭

And wtf kind of hero name is ”Cian”

“Take it home with you.”

OR… maybe… don’t? Don’t take the suspicious book you thought contained a vibrator home??

“The edges not matching up with the others, creating a haggard look about the grimoire.”

They’re called deckled edges

“She had assumed he placed some sort of device on the inside cover to create the humming sensation.”

?????
Honestly, it would’ve been less weird of you to assume it WAS magic

“Gear selector”

Gear… selector
G e a r
S e l e c t o r
Atp, just call it the PRNDL

(…) “It would certainly take most of the day to search.”

She’s just gonna… drive around??💀🧍