Rai (is hard to please) > Recent Status Updates

“Greer snapped her fingers and Celeste fell forward, able to move once again.”

Oh. Ok. So she can do this now. Sure.

“She felt a blush creep up her neck.”

No. Not “blush.” Heat. Say “heat.”

“my father wanted to take over”

So why did the spell hone in on Celeste and not her father? Unless her father is HERE? Maybe dead??

“Celeste’s face turned red hot before the blood cleared her cheeks” (…)

“Hot” isn’t something you can see. Try “bright red.”

“She passed the in-ground pool, the lights turned off and the water calm. Her senses were awash with the smell of chlorine that only grew stronger as she passed.”

Delete

“Their lives weren’t falling apart. But Greer’s was. Only Greer’s.”

LMAO??

“She took a stunned step backwards as her hand flew to her throat.”

Why are you acting like this is shocking information? You already suspected your mom. You drove her to that hotel. You should’ve been anticipating this reveal as soon as the map burned down to surround your town.

“You can both come in.”

Or you could all go to neutral territory, instead of endangering yourself and Delia… not that I’m convinced this is legit.

“Are you wondering about Delia’s brothers? Would I be able to find them?”
Delia jaw dropped before she snapped it back together again. “I— would you? Is that possible?”
Greer squinted in thought as she shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t see why I couldn’t.”

I do. You’re using a piece of a dead body for this spell. What would THAT spell require?

“Tears pricked the corners of Greer’s eyes as the truth came flooding out of her.”

Just tell anyone who asks, why don’t you? 🫠

“This time, she allowed only a sliver of that power to break from behind the wall where it resided.”

Bc ofc she can already pull this off. She’s special.

“Float, float, float.”

lol?

“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to need to trust each other. Have I given you a reason to not trust me?”
“Well, no, but—“

For the third time: DOES BEING A MURDERER NOT QUALIFY?

“Deal. Done.”


He better be bluffing bc he could easily just cooperate with Greer instead to recreate Agnes’ cure… which would benefit countless other vamps.

“raked his stare”
- raked his eyes*
- raked his gaze*

“the crackling ebbing beneath his fingers”
- absolutely not.

“as his posture perked”
- hard no.

“Nothing is worth my conscience.”

That’s rich, coming from a guy who openly admitted to be a serial killer who targets homeless people

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen the glow of the Mage. I just want to look upon it again.”

Why can’t he see it when everyone else can??

“I want to know where she is.”

So… you knew who Holly was. You SAW someone who looks just like her visiting her grave, over 20 years after her death.
It didn’t occur to you that said visitor… is the daughter you’re looking for?

“Cian preferred to feed on the homeless, where the police wouldn’t look too closely into their deaths.”

Genuinely wtf

“I have no idea how to use it.”

Why would you admit that???

“Jonas is a truly magnificent hunter.”

Lmao ok James from Twilight

“I’m done with ultimatums. This is my life and I want information.”

First positive highlight

“Yellow caution tape cloaked the front door” (…)
- No. I get that you’re trying to do sumn different, but no.

“With no indication the police had been investigating the pole barn.”
- ??? Is this a joke? There was a box found like 10 ft from the barn?

“trundled”
- trudged*

“She lifted the dagger into the air, studying it with narrowed eyes.”

If Celeste was disarmed in the scuffle, how is the dagger in her car? Is this a different dagger? Did the authorities find the original dagger at the scene? Did they scan it for fingerprints and not find it sus that hers were the only ones?? How did they not check the basement for the vamps??? HOW DID CELESTE SUCCESSFULLY LIE TO THE POLICE???

“See, honey? Not so bad to take accountability.”

lol

“I think even you could pass as the baby.”

Again, how has he not questioned the fact that THEY. HAVE. THE. SAME. NAME?

“Found blonde hairs at the crime scene, but the lab tests indicated the hairs were female, so that never added up.”

Celeste and them couldn’t even properly cover their tracks? Novices.

How does Holly’s death just keep getting MORE fucked up

“I had a feeling that was the cold case you were referring to.”

Shouldn’t he recognize her name, then? “Greer” is no “Brittany.”

“Greer began to fumble in her bag for the fake journalist badge she had printed off the internet in the days before” (…)

Oh. Ok. Sure. Guess it’s just that easy to gain access to the Sheriff??