♠ TABI⁷ ♠ > Recent Status Updates

forget winged frost man; I want his wolf-like body guards

'As much as he wanted to chain her to the bed so that she could not escape him, he knew that would be unwise.'

omg he's such a feminist icon wow look at him

'He looked every inch godly, and she felt like a drowned cat that had been deposited at his feet.'

ahahahaha what is this

help this description of him is SO FUNNY I know it's meant to be sexy but it's just hilarious

idk if I can suffer through this writing I need some spice to keep me motivated

'She was not only on the side of a mountain, she was very, very high.'

teleporting matches . . . okay

this being post-apocalyptic doesn't make sense though like it could have been purely fantasy and fit better into the retelling?

this boy keeps slamming stuff and stomping about

the cover art is phenomenal and truly captures the essence of the og tale

one more for the seasonal vibes

Then, Covid Claus tossed his hat to Dr Mistletoe, and said, ‘Something to remember me by.’

NO HE DID NOT

'‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘I’m going to make you cum like you’ve never cum before.’
‘YES DADDY COVID CLAUS,’ screamed Dr Mistletoe and she ripped away all her clothes to reveal her naked body to him'

'her beating heart making her tits thrash all over the place'

'‘FREEZE, INTRUDER!’ she echoed.
‘Ho ho oh no!’ said the hardened criminal.'

AHAHAHAHAHA HO HO OH NO is gonna be what I'm saying all season at any minor inconvenience

'Instead, Dr Mistletoe drank away her feelings and watched YouTube videos about Minecraft until way into the night.'

'Ho ho ho, she thought. She certainly felt like a ho ho ho, with what she was making that poor porcelain Santa do to her.'

ma'am if you can't get homegrown there's always store-bought solutions to fix your problem

'A few weeks ago, she’d sucked off the mailman when he put his penis through her letterbox instead of her post.'

IS NO ONE GONNA ASK WHY HE DID THAT

'a feeling erupt inside of her reminiscent of two freight trains colliding inside a narrow tunnel (the tunnel in this instance being her vagina)'

gee I wasn't sure what that tunnel was thanks for the clarification

'No, it was the animals she spent most of her alone time with. And it wasn’t like she could do anything sexual with them. Not again.'

'It had been so long since Dr Mistletoe had felt the electrifying effects of a clit-ticklingly enjoyable cumming session. In fact, she struggled to even remember when her last one had been, which was just depressing because she had a really good memory.'

'For you, the reader
I’m sorry if you received this as a Christmas present
The person who gave it to you mustn’t like you very much'

WHEEZING

tis the season y'all

(can't believe I'm actually doing this though)

I am so confused

the way I love Jun . . .

I am already in love with Brin from the previous book okay

I woke up too early at 5am and so I read this and I have no regrets

oop they're having a gay awakening

bruh this is so creepy her boys need to rescue their woman asap