Alexandra > Recent Status Updates

Aimee sighs, looks up toward the chandelier. "You, Cole. I like you." Shit. Shit. Shit. I think my mouth actually drops open. I'm fucking sunk. And you did such a dumb thing to such a nice girl. I'm mad at you. But ugh, I can't help but love you.

There is so much to feel that I might be drowning. Fuck it. Let the tide take me under. I don't need to breathe oxygen as long as I've got this girl's mouth. ..... If she wanted to, she could reach into my chest and rip my heart out of my body because it already belongs to her. PLEASE I CAN'T OMFG.

FOREHEAD KISSES. YES. ALWAYS.

Just her and me. Me and her. Her. One word. A simple pronoun that seems like an entire vocabulary. I AM SO IN LOVE.

It's past the bedtime I set for myself. By half an hour. First day back to actual classes tomorrow. UGH.

So, I'm going to curl up in bed with the sweet, delicious Cole Everly. (:

Fuck. She's so close that I can see a tiny bead of sweat dripping down her neck and disappearing under the edge of her grey top. I want to follow it with my tongue.

Jesus. Someone. Give me Cole. Right this instant.

Fuck. I spend a lot of time thinking about her mouth. I wonder about the secrets that live between her lips and I wonder about the taste of her.

#gimme

I'm really feelin' for Aimee, man. *sniffles* And I'm in love with Cole and I need more of him.

I like how this is insanely cute one second, and then I'm sad and worrying about Aimee the next.

The needle on my ick radar just redlined.

Aimee doesn't seem completely immune to me, but she's definitely not looking at me like she wants to eat me either.

lmao. Something told me to read this next, so I am. I love Cole already. I loved him instantly.

I can't stop crying. I seriously can't stop. The ugly kind. Nose so stuffed up it's probably dripping and I can't tell. Tears all over the place. Tissues scattered across the floor. That was probably the most beautiful, perfect ending to a book that I've ever read and I don't know how to get over it. I am so emotionally spent.

I'm trying so hard to observe the story as it continues but I just keep sitting here, shaking and crying. Crying and crying and crying.

JESUS. I don't. I mean. That explains it all. I didn't. I don't. I don't know.

YEP. FUCKING KNEW IT.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I JUST HAD AN IDEA AND I AM NOT COOL WITH IT. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

People know their feelings much sooner than they consciously accept them.

MY HEART IS BROKEN. I AM EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE. HELP ME. WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

I. SERIOUSLY. CAN'T.

JESUS CHRIST. DOES THIS HAVE A HAPPY FUCKING ENDING????? BECAUSE IT SEEMS SO FUCKING FAR FROM IT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO SURVIVE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING OR WHAT TO DO. HELP ME. HELP. ME.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. That. There. Plain old warning right in the text. I. Am. Not. O. Kay.

AND THAT. THOSE TEARS. AND I HAVE VERY LITTLE TIME LEFT BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENS. AND I AM MORE FEARFUL FOR MY EMOTIONAL STATE THAN I HAVE BEEN SINCE IS STARTED READING IT.

So, if I just cried at that, I don't even want to know what's going to happen when shit really gets bad.

I am FREAKING OUT!!!!! And I know it's going to get worse AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW THE HELL TO PREPARE FOR IT.

"Every dream is a pipe dream before someone achieves it."

I'M FREAKING OUT.

Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Fuck. I'm not. Something huge is gonna happen. I've seen other updates. Something totally unexpected happens near the end. Oh, Jesus. I'm staying up until I finish it. Fuck it, I need to know. I'm freaking out.

Yeah, no. I really can't. My heart. Feelings.

Why did everything beautiful come from pain?

"Now I know," he said, touching me again, "why I was drawn to you. We have the same darkness inside."
"Our fucked-up parents?"
"Our lost childhood."

TEARS.

"You're crazy," I said. "You should run away."
"If I ran away, I would be crazy."
Somewhere in my cavernous chest, another sliver of light chipped into my heart.