Noi (in & out) > Recent Status Updates

"I didn't realize I was looking for someone until you found me... I saw your picture and thought to myself, oh s**t, she's coming whether I'm ready or not, and I wasn't. I wasn't at all prepared for how quickly you'll turn my entire existence upside down."

"Thank you for wanting to be my friend. When I said I didn't have earlier, that was me not wanting to be presumptuous. It's hard to leave the pity party when I've lived there for so long that I've started to pay rent."

"Smile, Bunny"

*insert a gif of the cat from Alice in Wonderland smiling*

"I'm sorry they can't see you"

🫠🫠🫠

"What did you do?"
"What did he do?"
"He got hit by a car"
"Why in the world would you do a stupid thing like that?"
...
"What kind of car was it?.... well at least it was a nice car."

"We should have sex, you and me"

"No"

"What do you mean no?"

"The point was, that while I was in college I didn't do all those typical things. I was never in a sorority, I didn't belong to any clubs, and if I came home at dawn it was because there was some surveillance involved. People spoke about their college experience, and I had no idea what they were talking about."

I can fully relate to 95% of this.

"Yes, I'm a hermit."
"Mostly I brood, also I'm very good at wallowing and self-pity."
"I spend my days steeped in melancholy looking past the window. Occasionally a single tear quietly rolls past my cheek."

Have I mentioned he's an obsession?

"you are Mad Rogen"
"yes"
"and you can break cities?"
"yes"
"and you have all this money and magic?"
"yes"
"and you look like that?"
"yes"
"there is no justice in the world"

"So, you come here often?"

He has such a sense of humor

"Bug is special"

yes he is

"I was pushing you off a cliff to your death"

Sure you were 🤭

"I'm a flutter with anticipation"

He's an obsession and I'm ook with it

"You dumpt me on my door step. According to my mother I looked half dead."
"Your mother exaggerates, a third dead at most."

"I would have settled for a drivers licence"

But this was so much more fun :)

P (the mom): "She's going to lunch with her kidnapper"
F (the grandma): "Take a picture for me"

"Did you take any pictures?
Pictures or it didn't happen"

I forgot how messed up was this part with the implants

How could she be afraid of him? he's a teddy bear

"If you are really hard up I can introduce you to my grandmother, she's a fan. She doesn't typically sleep with pretty young things, but she would make an exception in this case. You might even learn a trick or two."

Mad Rogan has made his entrance, and what an entrance it was 🤭

This conversation was both extremely hilarious and awkward

"I'm no good at this!"
"No good at what?"
"Talking to people. People I don't know well, I've never been able to talk to strangers. I can't think of what to say, and if I do speak, it's never the right words."

THIS IS 100% ME

"To never have to be intimidated by anybody"

Can't relate

Ear earing expanders creep me out 🫣

"You have to live a little,
go out with a bad boy,
run headfirst into a fight,
get roaring drunk,
something!"

"Terminal fear of T-shirts or any other garment that would cover his pectorals"

"His features were perfect, in the way Greek statues were perfect..."

"He probably had to have protective detail when he left the building to defend from all the sculpture who wanted to immortalize his beauty in marble"