Status Updates From To Be or Not To Be: A Choos...

As Hamlet: Why are my only choices ones that have no impact on the actual action? I've just spent way too long choosing various quips for Hamlet to say and which body-parts he should attack first while fighting the pirate captain. But all of these choices have NO impact on the action. I still end up at the same page. Give me a choice that actually matters!

As Hamlet: killed by the king of England, then sent to #269 which is a completely unrelated ending. Typo?

Playing As Hamlet: #40: Apparently, if you attempt to kill Polonius instead of Claudius, you do have to work *really hard* to cover your tracks and not get caught/executed. I found at least six ways to die before I found the one (absurd) way to get away with Polonius's murder. But if, at any point, I murder Claudius, I automatically get away with it without having to make a single choice. Biased author, much?

Playing as Hamlet: you can decide to kill yourself in act one. Then you become a ghost who may either haunt Horatio's family until the end of time, or join your father's ghost and eventually defend Earth from an invasion of alien ghosts. Huh.

As Hamlet: And then, some decisions that you should get to make are taken from you. Anytime that you choose some variation of "Go kill Claudius" you are taken to 142, where you have no choices in how you kill Claudius or how to hide your murder. These choices are made for you by the author and we get a happy ending, reinforcing the moral that everything would have been fine if Hamlet just shut up and acted. Dull.

Playing as Hamlet: A lot of the fun of the "choose-your-own-adventure" style is mitigated by the fact that we are often given stupid and pointless choices. Does it matter how we greet Rozencrantz and Guildenstern (answer: no, because all options eventually lead to the same point, just with different side trails).