Michael

“He wanted one drink, and understood precisely why he wasn't going to have one. One drink ended up arriving in a dozen glasses.”
― Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

“They teach you how to handle life in England, but they don’t teach you a thing about death. There’s no book telling you what to do when your mum or dad dies.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

“My favourite prank in heavy metalwork was to get a penny and spend three or four minutes making it really hot with a blowtorch, and then leave it on Mr Lane’s desk, so that he’d see it and pick it up out of curiosity.
First you’d hear: ‘Waaaaahhhhhh!’
Then: ‘Osbourne, you little bastard!’

Heh-heh-heh.
The old hot-penny trick. Priceless, man.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

“I don't do regrets. Regrets are pointless. It's too late for regrets. You've already done it, haven't you? You've lived your life. No point wishing you could change it.”
― Lemmy Kilmister