Shannar de Kassal

“Таких гандонів часто бачив я,
Що всім пиздять: я – гуру, я – учитєль!
Несіть мені усі по три рубля
І мудрості вам дам я дохуя.
А сам читать уміє по складам
І голосно пердить в компан’ї дам.”
― Лесь Подерв'янський, Павлік Морозов

“Entre
Ce que je pense,
Ce que je veux dire,
Ce que je crois dire,
Ce que je dis,
Ce que vous avez envie d'entendre,
Ce que vous croyez entendre,
Ce que vous entendez,
Ce que vous avez envie de comprendre,
Ce que vous croyez comprendre,
Ce que vous comprenez...
il y a dix possibilités qu'on ait des difficultés à communiquer. Mais essayons quand même...”
― Bernard Werber, L'Encyclopédie du savoir relatif et absolu

“Please?” asked the girl.

“I AM BUSY. I AM TRYING TO FIX CONTINENTAL DRIFT.”

“I…didn’t know it was broken.”

Uriel’s face became more animated, his speech faster.

“IT HAS BEEN BROKEN FOR FIVE WEEKS AND FIVE DAYS. I THINK IT BROKE WHEN I RELOADED NEW ZEALAND FROM A BACKUP COPY, BUT I DO NOT KNOW WHY. MY SYNCHRONIZATION WAS IMPECCABLE AND THE CHANGE PROPAGATED SIMULTANEOUSLY ACROSS ALL SEPHIROT. I THINK SOMEBODY BOILED A GOAT IN ITS MOTHER’S MILK. IT IS ALWAYS THAT. I KEEP TELLING PEOPLE NOT TO DO IT, BUT NOBODY LISTENS.”
― Scott Alexander, Unsong

“The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort