Certified

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Certified’s Quotes

“Toronto's already ass-deep in cockroaches and conservatives; what's one more lower life-form?”
― Tanya Huff, Blood Bank

tags: cockroaches, humor, toronto

14 likes

“Call me once you’ve taken care of that hard-on in your pants, so you’ll last longer than ten seconds when we fuck.”
― Tina Folsom, Yvette's Haven

tags: haven, yvette

29 likes

“For cripes sake, have you ever heard of 'Ready or not? Here I come'?"

Retro or not, cheesy is cheesy."

Sometimes what you learned from beer commercials comes in real handy.”
― Raven Hart, The Vampire's Seduction

8 likes

“Slim and neatly groomed, he looked like a really sexy mathematician unaware that he was a prime number. I wanted to unbutton his shirt, muss his hair, and exclaim, "Good heavens, Professor Dracula, you're stunning!”
― Marta Acosta, Happy Hour at Casa Dracula

10 likes

“Bite me, damn it, or I'll kick you in the balls so hard, you'll scream into the next century!”
― Tina Folsom, Samson's Lovely Mortal

64 likes

More of Certified’s quotes…