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Crime and Punishment
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Douglas Adams
“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Joseph Heller
“The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.”
Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Joseph Heller
“You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate."

"Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously.”
Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Douglas Adams
“So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die."
"Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried.
"What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round.
"No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

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