Cat

“I don’t know what the exact physical dynamics are that cause a shower curtain to attach itself to your body when you turn on the water but, since my shower was surrounded on all sides by curtains, I turned on the water and became a vinyl, vacuum-sealed sheriff burrito.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

“I hung back at the curb, but it's hard to go unnoticed when you are a powder blue vintage convertible with a cowboy, an Indian, a brunette and a dog inside.”
― Craig Johnson, Kindness Goes Unpunished

“It would be nice if life weren’t so messy, but that’s just not the nature of things; we want things to be perfect, but most of the time we just spend our existence cleaning up the messes we make—and sometimes the messes of other people, people about whom we care most in the world.”
― Craig Johnson, Any Other Name

“The old cowboy Hershel, "You know what they say about a horse bein' only afraid of two things?"

Walt, "What's that?"

Hershel, "Things that move and things that don't”
― Craig Johnson, The Dark Horse