Doris

“Selling bracelets to old ladies isn't as cute when you are a teenager with constant accidental boners.”
― Shane Dawson

“I know the old saying “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” Well, nothing tastes as good as being alive either.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“If you can't laugh at yourself, then what the fuck is the point of living?”
― Shane Dawson

“Side note: What is that crotch pad for? Is it to protect the vagina from the impact of a big wave? Or maybe to have a stronger barrier between vagina and sand? I can imagine how uncomfortable a sandy vagina is. Almost as uncomfortable as when sand would get in my loose under-boob skin. See, women, I relate to you.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson