Doris > Doris's Quotes

“I just don’t have the willpower to hit up the gym every day for two hours, and the idea of cutting candy out of my diet seems impossible.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“Our breakup broke the record for the most mutual parting of ways in history. Here’s the text-message conversation: Me: Hey . . . should we break up? Canadian: Ya probably. Me: Ok. Canadian: Did you watch Hoarders last night? Me: Ya! I can’t believe that woman ate her dead dog thinking it was jerky. Canadian: I know! Crazy! Me: Well . . . goodbye I guess. Canadian: Do we have to unfollow each other on Twitter? I’d rather still follow you. You have funny tweets. Me: No way. I never unfollow anyone. That’s so tacky. Canadian: Agreed.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“I know the old saying “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” Well, nothing tastes as good as being alive either.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“If you can't laugh at yourself, then what the fuck is the point of living?”
― Shane Dawson

“And to this day we are still kissing each other with the same amount of passion. It’s been more than three years, and I still feel like there’s more to unwrap. Every day I get a glimpse of what’s inside. I hope it never ends.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“Side note: What is that crotch pad for? Is it to protect the vagina from the impact of a big wave? Or maybe to have a stronger barrier between vagina and sand? I can imagine how uncomfortable a sandy vagina is. Almost as uncomfortable as when sand would get in my loose under-boob skin. See, women, I relate to you.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“The only person who had ever wanted to fuck me was a homeless lady who used to stand outside of Ralphs and tell me I had a “sad face that she wanted to sit on.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“I'm here to tell you that it gets worse. It really does. The problems you have as a kid will seem ridiculous when you get older because bigger and worse problems will come along. But you will learn to deal with them easier as you grow up, or, like me, you'll just stop giving a shit. So yes, it gets worse, but you know what gets better? Your tolerance for the bullshit.”
― Shane Dawson, It Gets Worse: A Collection of Essays

“Selling bracelets to old ladies isn't as cute when you are a teenager with constant accidental boners.”
― Shane Dawson

“Now this isn't meant to make anyone feel like college is a waste of time, because for so many people it's not. But don't go because you feel like you have to. If your heart isn't in it, then why spend four years of your life stuck somewhere you don't want to be?”
― Shane Dawson, It Gets Worse: A Collection of Essays

“It’s a twisted land of self-hatred, sadness, and lots of repressed anger toward every person who’s ever hurt me.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it -- to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once. ”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

“What makes the desert beautiful,' said the little prince, 'is that somewhere it hides a well...”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

“Ne nismo mi bili ljubavnici. Nikad… Samo smo se ponekad malo gledali, kad nas nisu gledali. I to je sve… Oboje smo na lančiću nosili po polovinu davno polomljene tajne, ali nismo pokušavali da je sastavimo. Ko zna zašto, ta je tajna lebdela
nad desetogodišnjim okeanom prošlog vremena, kao ukleta lađa. Negde ovde, daleko. Negde tamo, blizu. Ni na nebu, ni na zemlji… Nismo mi bili ljubavnici. Nikad. Samo smo se ponekad u dugim noćima punog meseca malo tražili po talasnim dužinama čeznje. I to je sve…”
― Đorđe Balašević