Бјанка Бањац

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The Bell Jar
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Søren Kierkegaard
“In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant… My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known — no wonder, then, that I return the love.”
Soren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life

Marya Hornbacher
“You begin to forget what it means to live. You forget things. You forget that you used to feel all right. You forget what it means to feel all right because you feel like shit all the time, and you can't remember what it was like before. People take the feeling of full for granted. They take for granted the feeling of steadiness, of hands that do not shake, heads that do not ache, throats not raw with bile and small rips of fingernails forced to haste to the gag spot. Stomachs that do not begin to wake up in the night, calves and thighs knotting in muscles that are beginning to eat away at themselves. they may or may not be awakened at night by their own inexplicable sobs.”
Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

Jack Kerouac
“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”
Jack Kerouac

Marya Hornbacher
“By November, you wish you were dead. You want nothing more. Every day, every fucking day, you run up the steps of the house, breathing hard, swing open the cupboards, thinking: You pitiful little bitch. Fucking cow. Greedy pig. All day, your stomach pinches and spits up its bile. You sway when you walk. You begin to get cold again.”
Marya Hornbacher, Wasted : A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

Elizabeth Wurtzel
“At heart, I have always been a coper, I've mostly been able to walk around with my wounds safely hidden, and I've always stored up my deep depressive episodes for the weeks off when there was time to have an abbreviated version of a complete breakdown. But in the end, I'd be able to get up and on with it, could always do what little must be done to scratch by.”
Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

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