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How to Be an Adul...
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The How: Notes on...
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Set Boundaries, F...
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bell hooks
“I believe that it is impossible for two individuals not committed to their own and each other’s well being to sustain a healthy and enduring relationship.”
bell hooks, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life

bell hooks
“the wounded child inside many males is a boy who, when he first spoke his truths, was silenced by paternal sadism, by a patriarchal world that did not want him to claim his true feelings. The wounded child inside many females is a girl who was taught from early childhood that she must become something other than herself, deny her true feelings, in order to attract and please others. When men and women punish each other for truth telling, we reinforce the notion that lies are better. To be loving we willingly hear the other’s truth, and most important, we affirm the value of truth telling. Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love.”
bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions

bell hooks
“It still took years for me to let go of learned pattern's of behavior that negated my capacity to give and receive love. One pattern that made the practice of love especially difficult was my constantly choosing to be with men who were emotionally wounded, who were not that interested in loving, even though they desired to be loved. I wanted to know love but was afraid to be intimate. By choosing men who were not interested in being loving, I was able to practice giving love but always within an unfufilling context. Naturally, my need to receive love was not met. I got what I was accustomed to getting. Care and affection, usually mingled with a degree of unkindness, neglect, and on some occasions, out right cruelty.”
bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions

bell hooks
“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim "You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself" made clear sense. And I add, "Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”
Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions

Scott Adams
“You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.”
Scott Adams

104752 The Blerd Book Club — 709 members — last activity Mar 28, 2023 05:35AM
We are many minds wrapped around a good book. This is a book club for blerds, nerds, bleeks, and geeks to discuss, review, and reflect on the books th ...more
15611 Uptown Girls Harlem Book Club — 48 members — last activity Apr 06, 2016 11:36PM
We used to meet once a month at various New York City locations to discuss books, food, and life. - CLOSED
228637 Hype Lit Book Club — 119 members — last activity Aug 04, 2020 05:19PM
A book club for people who like books, tea, and 90's R&B. #IReadHypeLit ...more
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