bell hooks
Born
in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, The United States
September 25, 1952
Died
December 15, 2021
Genre
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All About Love: New Visions
27 editions
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published
1999
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Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics
41 editions
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published
2000
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Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism
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published
1981
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Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom
24 editions
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published
1994
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The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love
19 editions
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published
2003
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Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center
23 editions
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published
1984
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Communion: The Female Search for Love
7 editions
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published
2002
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Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood
4 editions
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published
1996
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Killing Rage: Ending Racism
3 editions
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published
1995
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Where We Stand: Class Matters: Class Matters
15 editions
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published
2000
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“Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them. If the first woman they passionately loved, the mother, was not true to her bond of love, then how can they trust that their partner will be true to love. Often in their adult relationships these men act out again and again to test their partner's love. While the rejected adolescent boy imagines that he can no longer receive his mother's love because he is not worthy, as a grown man he may act out in ways that are unworthy and yet demand of the woman in his life that she offer him unconditional love. This testing does not heal the wound of the past, it merely reenacts it, for ultimately the woman will become weary of being tested and end the relationship, thus reenacting the abandonment. This drama confirms for many men that they cannot put their trust in love. They decide that it is better to put their faith in being powerful, in being dominant.”
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“When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment.
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― All About Love: New Visions
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― All About Love: New Visions
“Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment...'dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love -- which is to transform us.' Many people want love to function like a drug, giving them an immediate and sustained high. They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.”
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