Dee Sibert

“If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered “Whole milk” then you’re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I’ll just pour it in someone else’s coffee.
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“To his way of thinking, the only thing more natural than death was sex.”
― Stephen King, ’Salem’s Lot

“If love played an instrument, I’ll bet it would be the piano. 88 keys, double infinity, and the ability to chop down trees with a sharpened mustache. 
”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

“You're so heavenly minded, you're no earthly good.”
― Johnny Cash