Michael

“Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach them to question everything.”
― George Carlin

“Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
― George Carlin

“May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.”
― Frank Zappa

“Yo mama so fat she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.”
― Jess Franken, The 100 Best Yo Mama Jokes