Ian

“We went into the Dark Woods and I almost had to get gay fairy married again and now I feel really bad and Ryan got bad-touched by trees and Fairy King Dimitri was cryptic and annoying and apparently has a size kink.”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“Another fairy flew up, carrying a spear and wearing a helmet and not much else. I thought about asking why he had armor on his head and not his balls, but I didn’t think that was proper etiquette while being held prisoner by the Dark Woods fairies.”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“You took something from the King," I said.
"Did I?" the dragon growled. "And what might that be?"
"You know."
"Say it."
"The Prince."
"Ah," the dragon said. "I'm sorry, but your prince is in another castle."
"What?" I was confused. What other castle?
It sighed. "You young people today. Never respecting the classics.”
― T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

“He was never at a loss for something to do in an emergency. It might now always be the right thing, but at least he was ready to act.”
― Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman