Jim Webster, (In On a Chance! ) Showing 1,151-1,200 of 5,147

[Patti (baconater)]

Just in passing Jim, I'm on my way to get a bowl of ice cream.

I think I've earned a treat.

[Jim]

Will wrote: "Apart from the usual jokes.

How do we know the CIA were NOT involved in the assassination? The target died."

I have handled a rifle of the same model as shot Kennedy. They are unbelievably badly made. You can open and close the bolt just by shaking the gun in your hand!
They are bad bad bad bad bad.
They are an abomination, legend has it that the guy who did the engineering drawing was taken out and shot, but obviously they used the rifle he designed and missed.
If Kennedy was killed using that rifle I'd like to know who they were actually aiming at!

[Jim]

Will wrote: "Just in passing Jim, I've just bought a copy of the Wodehouse for £ 2.99 on ebay, incl postage."

Money well spent, I'm sure you won't regret it :-)

OK so I'm selling his books more successfully than I'm selling my own.

[Jim]

Just updated https://www.facebook.com/TsarinaSector again, I thought I'd post snippets of background that I haven't needed to use yet :-)

[Jim]

And another update at https://www.facebook.com/TsarinaSector

DO you fancy sun kissed beaches, the holiday of a lifetime

[David]

I thought you were giving a holiday away as a prize, Jim.

[Jim]

David wrote: "I thought you were giving a holiday away as a prize, Jim."

I am. Buy a copy of the book,Justice 4.1. Show your copy at the Space Port check in on Tsarina and you'll get an fortnight's all expenses paid holiday for two anywhere you want on Tsarina. Guaranteed no extra charges.

[Will]

Got my passport! Got my towel! Where's my travel docs then??

[David]

I smell a catch in there, somewhere :~/

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I can't find any Earth to Tsarina listings in the travel agents - even allowing for multiple flights...

[Jim]

It's quite simple, just get them to point the front end of the plane straight up, then it's a case of finding a pilot who understands the concept of "second to the right, and straight on till morning".
Admittedly astrogation is a bit more technical than that but you'll soon get the hang of it.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

But haven't you heard about the world-wide fairy dust shortage?

[Jim]

It's true, the damn stuff has been in short supply for the last few years :-(

[Patti (baconater)]

I'm gonna have to open up a fairy grinding factory.

[Will]

Well can you start with Dale Winton?

I find him annoying.

[Patti (baconater)]

No clue who that is.

I was thinking what's her name who played tinker bell.

Julia Roberts. *shudder*

[David]

Do they use ground fairies in washing products?

[Will]

Water fairies for that david

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

And airy fairies help you make really light sponge cake.

[Jim]

For sale here http://joesshoppingsite.com/showlist2...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Wow! Thats expensive!!

[Patti (baconater)]

Pfft.

You can't make proper fairy dust without breaking a few fairies.

I bet they also sell tiger balm that doesn't contain any tiger.

I'd hate to see their elephant foot waste baskets.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I have a reindeer foot knife. One of Santa's reindeer was hopping that year...

[Patti (baconater)]

Jim needs a herd of naugas.

[Jim]

now that was a term I had to google!

[Patti (baconater)]

And?

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

*tumbleweed*

[David]

I googled and came up with fake leather. How do you get a herd of fake leather?

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

David wrote: "I googled and came up with fake leather. How do you get a herd of fake leather?"

Its a joke. But if I explain it it won't be funny, so I won't bother.

[David]

In that case I won't laugh.

[Jim]

Personally I don't think that naugas have much class

[David]

Apparently an alternative for naugas is pleather.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

David wrote: "Apparently an alternative for naugas is pleather."

Does that come from pcows?

[David]

Or Poxen.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

David wrote: "Or Poxen."

that would have unsightly spots all over it.

[Jim]

Faux leather doesn't need spots

http://www.dhgate.com/product/korean-...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Jim wrote: "Faux leather doesn't need spots

http://www.dhgate.com/product/korean-..."

That would go down well in your erotica book.

[David]

Left over costumes from the film night ;~)

[Jim]

Hey it's your thread with the unseemly cavorting! I'm trying to write a blog on a touch of class for patti

[Will]

She will expect a classy result

[M.T.]

That's not classy though, that's a minge pelmet.

[Jim]

http://jandbvwebster.wordpress.com/20... classy enough?

[Will]

Classically classy,Jim

[M.T.]

Definitely better, Jim.

[David]

Enjoyed that one, Jim.

[M.T.]

Also the rain of I've-done-a-blog-post spamming is very slickly done! Phnark. I must take a page out of your book on this one. Which reminds me. Someone eyebombed our back gate. http://www.pinterest.com/pin/56323149...

Cheers

MTM

[David]

That is actually rather clever :~)

[M.T.]

Put it like this... I've sent off for some self adhesive eyes. I'm definitely up for this eybombing lark. Harmless fun. Now I have to tie it into a way of selling my books. Phnark.

cheers

MTM

[Jim]

Yes,it was rather clever with the eyes. Not seen that happening up here yet

[Will]

Yes, I like that, too...