I hate how instead of going to the gym...

[[deleted user]]

...I came home and made Top Ramen. And I've newly rediscovered the pure joy in cigarettes.

[Tom]

Yeah, Steve or Nick or whoever was right. This needs to be re-named "Mantambo's section.

[[deleted user]]

Yeah, but Tom...do you know what I mean about the cigarettes?

[The Crimson Fucker]

Boooo I want ramen too!!! Me so cold on the fucking window

[[deleted user]]

You're at work, Fonzie?

[The Crimson Fucker]

Ya, and it sucks!!! My labor is 22% I need to get my ass out of the office and send one of my runts home buaaa that means I can't do the atiba thing no more

[Tom]

Cigarettes are vile, nasty, horrible things. You should smoke cigars or a pipe so you get all the vitamins from the tasty, nutritious tobacco.

[[deleted user]]

Those would be fine, as well.

[Rusty]

Women should not smoke pipes. It's just not right.

[Rusty]

And I'll tell you why it's just not right. A woman smoking a pipe is like a man carrying a purse, or a white guy wearing a baseball cap backwards (unless he's disarming a bomb, or an umpire, then it's okay), or a monkey making sweet love to a golden retreiver. All these scenarios are physically possible, but they clash against every law of nature.

[[deleted user]]

Okay, Rusty.

[Rusty]

I'm glad you see things my way, Tambo.

[Amanda]

No! Not cigarettes!

[Tom]

I see Rusty has never visited Appalachia.

[Chloe]

Montambo, I definitely know the pure joy of a cigarette. Especially on a cold morning, all I want is the delicious smoke to wrap me up on the way to the bus stop. The smell of a cigarette in the middle of a rainstorm is one of my favorite smells ever. Preemptive reply: Back off cigarette haters, I don't actually smoke- I just like the smell at times.

Also, I would pay money to see a monkey shag a golden retriever as long as both participants were willing. How would they figure that out? I don't know, I leave that for someone more versed in animal love to figure out.

[[deleted user]]

Logan! Where did that cross-species sex come in?

I am an evening smoker. Right now a cigarette sounds horrible, but come dusk: yes.

[Chloe]

Hey, don't look at me. Rusty was the one who brought up animal sex first.

[Rusty]

To be accurate, I lamented such relations - Logan seemed to be trolling for footage, and offering money.

[Chloe]

Details, details...

[[deleted user]]

Oh yeah, I missed that. Rusty's perverted mind.

[Rusty]

I know that you skip over my posts, Tambo. That’s fine.

Sometimes I will smell Marlboro Reds in the air, and think, ‘that would really hit the spot right now’. The funny thing is that I haven’t smoked in 15 years.

[Amanda]

That's the worst part about quitting. The desire to smoke might lessen over time, it will never fully go away. I'd kill to sit on my stoop with a Djarum Black right now.

[Chloe]

Dear bob! The Blacks will really tear you up inside! They're the smoker's equivalent of the H-Bomb.

[Reads with Scotch]

I like to smoke

I like to smoke after meals

I like to smoke after luv'ns

I like to smoke when I'm driving

I like to smoke after a rip someone a new asshole

I don't like to smoke when it is -34 zero. I smoke outside you see...

[[deleted user]]

I actually love smoking.

[Reads with Scotch]

I think we should have a smoke festival!

[Amanda]

But the Blacks are so delicious!!!

Will there be drinking at this festival?

[Reads with Scotch]

duh! is there any other way to throw a festival?

[David]

Women should not smoke pipes?
This is not a pipe.

[Kasia]

Pathetic haters! What is this?! Did I confuse groups?

Do I have to point out all the guilt? "I actually love smoking", "that would really hit the spot right now", "delicious smoke"... jeez! Try: TOXIC FUMES!

[Reads with Scotch]

Smoking is magnificent Kasia. If you don't alter your attitude I fear you might get injured.

[Kasia]

Too late for that, the damage is done, you wouldn't change my attitude with a bulldozer.

[Reads with Scotch]

Then I hope you have good health insurance...

[Kasia]

I do fine, besides it works different over here. Do you?

[Donitello]

I ADOOOOORED smoking, but quit a year ago last September and now have no desire for the little suckers. I don't get it, but am ever so grateful. (Please don't hit me.)

I used to love those clove cigs, but heard that they were worse for you than regulars. Is that true, anyone know?

If I were smoking again, I'd get a hookah. Now THOSE are fabulous. Delicious flavor, doesn't bother your throat in the least, and... (wait for it)... THE SMOKE COMPLETELY DISSIPATES! It really does! How does it do that? No idea.

[Kasia]

Yay Doni, good for you! But don't you even think about getting a hookah.

[Reads with Scotch]

Get a hookah, smoke cloves and pay no mind to euro trash.

[Kasia]

Careful, I bite! Grrrrrrrrrrr

[Reads with Scotch]

ewwww, I better be careful, I would hate to upset the euro trash and get a stern talking to.

How about this Nazi wanna be; if someone wants to read a book, mind your own business and let them, if they want to smoke wail reading said book, you guessed it let them. You do this and I will let you jump from any bridge you want.

[Tom]

Did Nick just call a Pole a "Nazi wanna be?"

...

I think i'm going to stay over here behind this nice, thick, brick wall for a while.

[[deleted user]]

Just so y'all know, I had one cigarette on Thursday and three a couple of Wednesdays ago, and other than that I haven't smoked in weeks! It's not even hard.

[Tom]

I'm NOT hiding behind the wall. I'm just interested in architecture, is all.

[Tom]

You see that the bricklayer used a different pattern at the foundation than higher up? I'm examining this pattern, and absolutely not hunkering down and waiting for the inevitable explosion.

[Reads with Scotch]

Explosion?... Huh well just let me know before hand so I can put down my coffee. I hate spilling coffee, particularly when it spills on a pack of smokes.

I don't get all the hiding/studying of the walls. What is she going to do charge my satellite guided trebuchets on horses? Oh I'm sooo scared. pfft!

[Sandy]

I don't smoke, but I understand why other people do because I was a three pack a day smoker. There is no point in ranting at smokers. They will quit if and when they want to, in their own way. I quit cold turkey because I wheezed at every breath and cigs were getting too expensive...$5 a carton! I watched my grandparents and parents die from smoking. I've seen people smoke through their stoma after a laryngectomy. It's not something a lot of people can stop. It's so enjoyable! So, leave them alone - try to stay away from the fumes - and focus your energy on some other ecological project - like not letting developers drain the Everglades.

[smetchie]

I hate you peple who smoke just now and then and never have the urge to buy a pack and hide in a closet until it's gone.....who never refuse to go someplace because you can't smoke there....who get to happily smoke out on the deck when the weather is nice but never stand in the rain to get your fix....who quit and then don't miss it and go "ugh cough cough can I sit further from the smoking section please this is disgusting."

[Kasia]

Servius Sextus Heiner wrote:"ewwww, I better be careful, I would hate to upset the euro trash and get a stern talking to. How about this Nazi wanna be..."

Waiting for an explosion, are we? Hiding behind a nice, sturdy wall? Well good for ya. Better safe than sorry.

I wonder what is expected from me? Are you hoping to get spanked for being naughty and calling me a Nazi?
Not that offensive, I tell you as much. Germans apologized, made amends. It's all in the past. Different people at the helm and live goes on. I'm holding a bigger grudge against Russians, but that's neither here nor there.

Or maybe it's the "wanna be" part that I should go ballistic over?

For a moment I was contemplating launching a guided long range missile with serious warhead... Push of a button would nuke all the walls. Ah, one can dream!

Small problem though, nukes would have an adverse effect on your health. We wouldn't want that, would we now? With all that carcinogenic substances already in your lungs, survival rates would be low. So I reckon, I leave you be, keep on smoking and who knows, maybe the problem will solve itself.

Sandy wrote: "I don't smoke, but I understand..."

Thank you Sandy, I realize that all these posts are pointless, only substantial brainwashing could shift their attitude. I just couldn't help myself. Gloating about "delish cigg smoke" produces a knee-jerk reaction in me. It was pure provocation. They basically asked for it. Some stones had to be thrown. Also, it's therapeutic to toss stones: reduces the anxiety, relieves stress. I highly recommend it.

Sandy wrote: "...and focus your energy on some other ecological project - like not letting developers drain the Everglades. "

Aaa... that! Sandy, with your permission I'll leave the Everglades to someone else. I never meant to save the world.

Gretchen wrote: "I hate you peple who smoke just now and then..."

Gretchen, I'm trying to be on good behaviour now, so I'll let it slide.

[David]

Don't complain Gretchen, move to Ohio, there is no smoking section, that freedom has been eliminated from public places. If you really want to stop you could move here Nick and acquire a felony smoking record.

[smetchie]

"DON'T COMPLAIN?!?!" where am i?

[Reads with Scotch]

I have no intention of ever quitting. I will be the guy doing battle with the nurse in the middle of the cancer ward. "give me my smokes you fucking candy striper!"