This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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I hate that it took me so long to start my own religion!!
I think that before I ever consider to turn my back on my one true god (Google) I should hear more of what you have to offer for example:What’s your take on the afterlife…. What awaits me if I die believing in you…?
What’s your take on recreational drugs like marihuana and alcohol???
What are you thoughts on sexual behavior??? I mean is there anything off limits when it comes to your religion… for example if I were to decide to put a really ripe papaya on the microwave for a few seconds and then fuck it… would it be a sin on your eyes???
I guess if we are to lay off on the homos you down with Anal right?
What about stupidity??? I would not join any religion that doesn’t consider stupidity a sin…
I'm so glad you asked Brother Alfonso, allow me to clarify,,,
Disciple Dan and Myself have often held the belief that the ghost of every beer we've enjoyed in our lifetimes is waiting for us in the next world (implying that in the heavenly kingdom you could stroll up to one of your friends, open your tummy and say "hey man, please enjoy one of these")
I'm not really one of those stern fingered "you better not do that or I'm gonna tell St Pete" kinda Gods, you smoke and drink whatever you want Alfonso, I'm gonna leave up to you in terms of personal responsibility.
Sex? It's all good, but keep in mind...that implies sex with a willing partner, I find out anything about anything else and I'll stab you in the penis/va-jay-jay personally.
Anal? Don;t knock it til you try it.
Stupidity? I'm so fucking glad you asked. The only thing I find scary about the majority of humans is the fucking breadth, depth and scale of their ignorance. That conjoined like a parasitic siamese twin of "willful stupidity" is the one of few sins that I'll be the first one to say needs to be condemned to the fires of eternity.
I had to clarify that last point a little bit for 1st disciple Montambo, so to be clear...
Some people are just f**king stupid, that's cool it's their way, who am I to judge,,,,oh wait! I forgot I'm god!! It's cool, I'll let some folks off the hook for just being dumb,
But then there's some folk, who just don't want to look at the fact that there IS another side of the coin. Hey? You know what? I know that other side of the coin can be scary, y'know what's even scarier? The mind shattering grand canyon like scope of willful ignorance. Burn mofo's burn!!
Disciple Dan and Myself have often held the belief that the ghost of every beer we've enjoyed in our lifetimes is waiting for us in the next world (implying that in the heavenly kingdom you could stroll up to one of your friends, open your tummy and say "hey man, please enjoy one of these")
I'm not really one of those stern fingered "you better not do that or I'm gonna tell St Pete" kinda Gods, you smoke and drink whatever you want Alfonso, I'm gonna leave up to you in terms of personal responsibility.
Sex? It's all good, but keep in mind...that implies sex with a willing partner, I find out anything about anything else and I'll stab you in the penis/va-jay-jay personally.
Anal? Don;t knock it til you try it.
Stupidity? I'm so fucking glad you asked. The only thing I find scary about the majority of humans is the fucking breadth, depth and scale of their ignorance. That conjoined like a parasitic siamese twin of "willful stupidity" is the one of few sins that I'll be the first one to say needs to be condemned to the fires of eternity.
I had to clarify that last point a little bit for 1st disciple Montambo, so to be clear...
Some people are just f**king stupid, that's cool it's their way, who am I to judge,,,,oh wait! I forgot I'm god!! It's cool, I'll let some folks off the hook for just being dumb,
But then there's some folk, who just don't want to look at the fact that there IS another side of the coin. Hey? You know what? I know that other side of the coin can be scary, y'know what's even scarier? The mind shattering grand canyon like scope of willful ignorance. Burn mofo's burn!!
p.s. 1st disciple Montambo has asked me to clarify...
OK, so a lot of the people you work with are tards. Hey guess what? A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDED. It's cool!
and this is why.....
Retarded people are awesome for a lot of reasons, let's begin...
1. Hey, thanks retarded people for reminding me that I'm not retarded! C'mon! That's a pretty sweet thing for anyone to do on a daily basis (I personally try to remind other people that they ARE retarded on a daily basis, but hey that's just my ninja way...oh! and plus I'm God! isn't that my prerogative?)
2. I don't know this from personal experience, but from what I hear the tards are totally hot in the sack.(<---despite what 1st disciple Montambo may say)
3. Tards are just like anyone else! Sure there's some great benevolent tards, but there's really mean evil tards as well, what's your point?
Apparently, this means you have to be nice to the people you work with at Taco Bell. But of course, if you hate them...
you can feel confident that this God won't get too upset :D
OK, so a lot of the people you work with are tards. Hey guess what? A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDED. It's cool!
and this is why.....
Retarded people are awesome for a lot of reasons, let's begin...
1. Hey, thanks retarded people for reminding me that I'm not retarded! C'mon! That's a pretty sweet thing for anyone to do on a daily basis (I personally try to remind other people that they ARE retarded on a daily basis, but hey that's just my ninja way...oh! and plus I'm God! isn't that my prerogative?)
2. I don't know this from personal experience, but from what I hear the tards are totally hot in the sack.(<---despite what 1st disciple Montambo may say)
3. Tards are just like anyone else! Sure there's some great benevolent tards, but there's really mean evil tards as well, what's your point?
Apparently, this means you have to be nice to the people you work with at Taco Bell. But of course, if you hate them...
you can feel confident that this God won't get too upset :D
Hey, I have wood...No not that kind of wood, the kind you nail...
No not that kind of nail, the kind you hammer...
No not hammer like that hammer like you hammer a nail.
Eh, Fuck it, Dude I'm going to crucify you soon. Just letting you know. And it is totally not because I hate you. I just think it would be cool if there was a Steve Mort holiday. And The fastest way to get a holiday in this country is to die a horrible death, so I'll be over in a bit with your victory beer, a hammer, some wood, and nails.
NOT a disciple of Steve Mort, by the way.
you are totally his disciple... and you know what happens to the disciple's of crucified profit/god right. I hope your shroud is clean my friend Mary's wasn't and people have been talking about it for like ever... just so you know.
NOT a disciple. Article 2 of Message 4 was so distasteful, I almost threw up. I didn't dare log in while at his house, though, to dispute it. He's not be trusted with your goodreads password. The MAN is not to be trusted with your passwords...let alone your soul.
well from what I recall, from your own words, you have personal experience with the tards,and as I recall you did some personally destructive things with said tard... even though I was a good guy for once and told you not to... so yeah Your still the mumble disciple.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!!!!!!!
oh you know...wait have you been drinking... on a school night.
Dang, I have no idea what you're talking about, but something tells me it's rooted in truth (not an actual 'tard), but I don't want you to whistle blow in front of all the haters. What?! Wait, don't answer.
FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!
FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!
Nick puts the fear in me! I think NICK is god!
Steve,perform a miracle and I'll sign up.
:)
The miracle is that you have not been banned.OH A HOLIDAY INTERNET MIRACLE HAS OCCURRED!
"1) I disagree with the killing of folks law, some just need to die... sooner than later"I knew there was a reason I like you, VJ.
As for Steve's God complex rant - meh. I've spent quite a bit of time in D.C. and I've heard much better.
Don't be blasphemous Montambo. Just because you roll in hay with tards doesn't mean you can plot to get me crucified next to Steve, I want nothing to do with it. I know how humanity treats saviors I read the book, and I want no part of it.
I only date smart guys. Everyone knows that. It's a curse.
uh huh... there you go being blasphemous again... who said anything about dating? I was referring to a roll in the hay, which we all know requires no relationship. As I said, it was a self destructive moment.
WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!!! I promise you that I have only "rolled in the hay" with smart guys. Some day I'll find myself a nice dumb guy, but it's yet to happen.
Tambo, I think there's a sweet, charming, considerate moron out there who's perfect for you.
Thanks, Rusty. That's so sweet.
Take an IQ test. Remember: if you are testing in the double digits it is more difficult to find someone with a lower number. But you could be their leader.
I'm kind of an agnostic. I think Steve might exist, but I don't really care.
Just for the record:
It's okay to call normal people tards, but not any actual mentally retarded people.
It's not okay to say tards are hot in the sack. That is a gross thing to say. I was trying to get Steve to erase that part, which is why he brought me into it!
Definitely NOT a disciple!!!
It's okay to call normal people tards, but not any actual mentally retarded people.
It's not okay to say tards are hot in the sack. That is a gross thing to say. I was trying to get Steve to erase that part, which is why he brought me into it!
Definitely NOT a disciple!!!
Just for the sweet sweet B-side of the record:
" A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDED. It's cool!" does not mean a lot of people have down syndrome. But I can see how you're taking this so...
"It's not okay to say tards are hot in the sack."
Really? Because they're tards, or because they're not?
"Definitely NOT a disciple!!!"
I know it's not official until you've denied me three times, but call me a big softy...
" A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDED. It's cool!" does not mean a lot of people have down syndrome. But I can see how you're taking this so...
"It's not okay to say tards are hot in the sack."
Really? Because they're tards, or because they're not?
"Definitely NOT a disciple!!!"
I know it's not official until you've denied me three times, but call me a big softy...
Is that your way of calling Montambo the devil? I say those are fighting words!
I just might bonk you on the head. I can take you.Why do you hate sweet little Montambo? Don't call her the devil.
BTWI'm an engineer. You're lucky you get anything coherent out of me.
Also I am a disciple. Why fight it it's bigger than all of us. (correct that grammar)
"Why bitch about the lack of a solution when you can be part of the problem, y'know?"Just for giving me my new motto for the week, I'm signing on as a true believer. Do I have to get baptized, or is there another way in? I don't like the inconvenience of being wet.
I never heard of women who considered getting wet an inconvenience…. I always thought they like that….
I don’t think you know what I mean Vicki
I'm sure Vicki has been "wet" before fizzle.
I don’t know man, I was waiting for a friend the other day in the salon… and I grab a magazine that should have been called “frigid magazine” or something like that and you’d be surprise to know how many women have never been wet…
Did it have a picture of your mom on the cover?
nay, that's on Succubus magazine…but they had a pretty interesting article on yours tho… freak momas and the men who love em… there are only a few references of me there… but I got to admit the other 20 guy’s tastes are indeed more sordid than mines…
Succubus Magazine? Man! I thought I'd picked up ALL the DVDs (my favorite's the one with her and the necrophiliac quadrapelegic midgets, little pillows), web media (her cameo in swap.avi is awesome), and skin mags (boppin' poppin' mommas etc) that feature your mom, but somehow I missed this one! I'll definitely add it to my collection! Thanks Alfonso!
Ok Steve I have one more question regarding your newly acquired godhood…. Somebody already ask you for a miracle right? So here is my proposal if you… if you manage to extent the duration time of my orgasm (not with you that will never happen I’m six o’ clock baby.. straight as an arrow) to let’s say an hour and hour and half… I will worship you as a God… I will send Google to hell and preach the word of your wisdom to anybody who is willing to play attention to me.. so what you say?
This can be arranged my son! What're your feelings on pharmaceuticals and bondage instruments?
Steve, if you have Meth and erotic asphyxiation in mind… you are no true god… I want long orgasm every time I fuck… without the near death experience shit….
Well Vicki, it wont be the first time that a woman has wasted her whole life in a meaningless relationship… I was just making sure that you knew that I was talking about vaginal juices and not wet shirts…
At least he went doing what he loved./I had a friend who did the same thing.
//remember that Steve?
I am too lazy to be God, or worship Steve, for that matter. However, join me in the Church of the Latter Day Dude. Dudeism is where it's it brothers and sisters. We, the editorial we, know that life is full of strikes and gutters, man. Just live by the book of duderonomy, and abide in your hatred. Yours abidingly, Freddyhttp://www.dudeism.com/index.html
Uh that dude site is currently not available. NOT very dudelike!Here is.
The.
Dude.
It comes up for me. If it was down, contact them and tell them, "This will not stand, this aggression will not stand, man!"
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So like a lot o' folks I've got some pretty serious issues with this whole "god" and "religion" thing, but I didn't realize how easily they could be solved until 1st disciple Ms. Montambo came through and reminded me of the fact that I am GOD...or to clarify..
Religion is A FUCKING SCAM. Straight up right? So if we're going to have problems with religion, well as I always like to say "Why bitch about the lack of a solution when you can be part of the problem, y'know?"
So here's my solution...I AM GOD. I know this going to come as kindofa shock to a few of you, but before you start freakin' lemme lay some of my godly ways down on y'all
Steve's Many Commandments...
Sure, maybe it's trite but killing people is not cool y'all.
Lay off the homos.
That's what I got so far, don't kill people, don't be mean to the homos, oh and BTW I"M F**KING GOD y'all!!
Any thoughts?
(I'm honestly curious! Why? Because new school God 2.0 Steve's totally democratic!!) <----ASK ANY STEVE WE'RE ALL GOOD FOLK! (ok, there's one or two exceptions but for the most part we're all pretty cool)
so to clarify...
For the most part all Steve's are pretty cool.
Steve Mort is God.
Don't Kill People
Lay off the Homos.