Philip Whiteland - the man behind Josiah and Archibald (which makes it sound like we're in a queue!) Showing 2,651-2,700 of 3,307

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "For some reason I am reminded of the Song of Ankh-Morpork - We can rule you wholesale.

"When dragons belch and hippos flee
My thoughts, Ankh-Morpork, are of thee
Let others boast of martial dash
F..."

:-) trips off the tongue, doesn't it?

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I particularly like the ner ner ner bits - great writing, that!

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I particularly like the ner ner ner bits - great writing, that!"

Much missed

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Yes indeed.:-(

[Philip]

Great first review for my Christmas collection:

https://www.amazon.com/review/R33K400...

[Philip]

The first weekend in December, and I know that a lot of people will be emerging dust-covered and dishevelled from their lofts bearing, triumphantly, the tree and ornaments so carefully packed away in deep depression in January and now making their long-awaited comeback. Whilst you watch the tree lean inexplicably from the vertical and the ornaments smash to pieces, can I humbly suggest that this might be a better pursuit this weekend? A Christmas Cracker: A collection of seasonal stories :-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: ""

Yep, that's pretty much the image I had in mind ;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

You could always try a Lego tree - at 600,000 pieces it will keep you bust for quite a while!

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "You could always try a Lego tree - at 600,000 pieces it will keep you bust for quite a while!

"

And cause me to change gender, apparently ;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Darn it, darn it, darnit!! Why do they have to put the t beside the y? I have made that mistake a few times.

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Darn it, darn it, darnit!! Why do they have to put the t beside the y? I have made that mistake a few times."

Haven'y we all :-)

[Philip]

Another review...and it's a belter!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R2IWQ...

[Philip]

"The similarities between Moscow and Derby may not be immediately apparent. Alternatively, they may be blindingly obvious, dependent upon your point of view and how well disposed you’re feeling toward either destination at the time. All I can say is, that when I was in Moscow last winter (says he, place-dropping like mad), I was immediately reminded not just of Derby per se but of Derby at Christmas-time in the early 1960s.
The linking factor? Well, not the biting cold of winter or the grimness of the Stalinist architecture (no, I don’t mean Derby!). The common denominator is, or rather was, the humble trolley-bus..."

Excerpt from

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Well some parts of Derby are a bit Stalinist...

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Well some parts of Derby are a bit Stalinist..."

You might think that, I (as an occasional writer for the Derby Telegraph) couldn't possibly comment ;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

You can ask my brother. He has lived and worked there for many years.

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "You can ask my brother. He has lived and worked there for many years."

Well, somebody's got to :-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Quite a few somebodies. Or there wouldn't be a paper for you to write in.

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Quite a few somebodies. Or there wouldn't be a paper for you to write in."

Good point, well made.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I just patted myself on the back and hurt my shoulder...

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I just patted myself on the back and hurt my shoulder..."

Ah well, you know what they say 'A pat on the back...shows you've been lying in field used by cows'

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Or you are in Ireland giving piggy-backs!

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Or you are in Ireland giving piggy-backs!"

:-)

[Philip]

Oh well, I guess a book of seasonal stories isn't what people want this year (sigh)

[Philip]

Never cease to be amazed at the kindness of people (for the most part) who take the time and trouble to leave reviews. This blog post features both of the reviews currently received for

http://philwhiteland.blogspot.co.uk/2...

[Elizabeth]

I'll probably read it, Philip - I can't do spine chillers, the after-effects linger too long - and I don't see any indication in your blurb that it is. Slot reserved after my annual re-reading of The Hogfather!

[Philip]

Elizabeth wrote: "I'll probably read it, Philip - I can't do spine chillers, the after-effects linger too long - and I don't see any indication in your blurb that it is. Slot reserved after my annual re-reading of T..."

Thanks Elizabeth :-) no, certainly not a spinechiller! Just a few seasonal stories to make you smile and, hopefully, laugh. Off to wrestle with Mr. Teatime and the Tooth Fairy, eh?

[Elizabeth]

So that it isn't just a mere ball of flaming gas that illuminates the world tomorrow...

[Philip]

Elizabeth wrote: "So that it isn't just a mere ball of flaming gas that illuminates the world tomorrow..."

:-)

[Philip]

Actually, it's been a while since I re-read The Hogfather. Seems like a good time to do it :-)

[Elizabeth]

I always think so.

I've downloaded your Christmas Cracker using Kindle Unlimited, although it always make me feel slightly guilty when I do this with authors in this group - it feels a bit as though I'm cheating folk out of a portion of hard-earned revenue.
I've been wondering, whether, as a sop to my conscience, I should make an effort to post a review for all the books I do this with - and then I saw in another thread that they don't count as 'verified purchases' which seems unfair. It's not as though subscribing to KU is free!

[Philip]

Elizabeth wrote: "I always think so.

I've downloaded your Christmas Cracker using Kindle Unlimited, although it always make me feel slightly guilty when I do this with authors in this group - it feels a bit as tho..."

Thanks very much, Elizabeth. I really wouldn't worry about using KU, after all it is the author who decides to enrol with this, not you. Reviews are always very welcome. I don't think the 'verified purchase' thing matters as I've posted reviews of books that I've bought through Charity Book Shops before now!

Hope you enjoy it :-)

[Philip]

If you're not In The Christmas Spirit yet, you may well need a dose of this: [bookcover:A Christmas Cracker: A collection of seasonal stories|32946693

I've just had my first Xmas dinner of the season...and it was good!

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I just had maple bbq salmon bits with sweet potato rostis. Not a christmas dinner...

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I just had maple bbq salmon bits with sweet potato rostis. Not a christmas dinner..."

Sounds good :-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

It was very tasty :)

[Philip]

You wouldn't think it would be possible to NOT be able to sell a collection of funny seasonal stories in December for just 99p, would you? Oh, you would! Ok.

[Philip]

In a fortnight's time it will be Christmas Day! This is either terrifying or terribly exciting, dependent upon where you are on the In The Christmas Spirit continuum. If you're nowhere near that blissful state just yet, can I humbly recommend a course of treatment? An hour or so with 'A Christmas Cracker' can resolve even the most stubborn "Bah, Humbug!" cases.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Bah, Humbug!

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Bah, Humbug!"

Well, most of them!

[Philip]

All right, what do you want, blood?? It's December, this is a collection of seasonal humorous stories, it's only 99p! What more can I do to convince you? ;-)

A Christmas Cracker: A collection of seasonal stories

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: ""

Thank you for that welcome illustration, GL ;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Always glad to be of help :)

[Philip]

I have to say, mine isn't anywhere as colourful and filled with variety as your illustration. It just oozes green, same as any normal person.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Green? You may want to get that checked out... You could be an alien. Or a dragon.

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Green? You may want to get that checked out... You could be an alien. Or a dragon."

I've never had drag on, I find the high heels too uncomfortable.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

You might want to take tips from Grayson Perry, who was very charmingly dressed on the Graham Norton Show. I think his eyeshadow was a tad overdone though...

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "You might want to take tips from Grayson Perry, who was very charmingly dressed on the Graham Norton Show. I think his eyeshadow was a tad overdone though..."

Whose, Grayson or Graham?