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Miriam wrote: "Do you think he will be that unprofessional? Can you mention your fears to the nurse so she can keep an eye on him? Or your surgeon?"The surgeon is a friend, and I did speak to him, but there is obviously a problem there. I said to the anaethetist that I would see what the surgeon wanted and he wasn't happy. He said he wasn't going to be what to do, that he was a professional. And the surgeon said that he had to get on with the man... The surgeon has been a family friend since my grandparents days on the island so I am pretty sure he will look after me.
I am a bit frightened though.
I guess so. At the risk of asking a stupid question, can you go to a (slightly larger) island for this surgery? Since you are paying for it anyway, no insurance you said, you might have a little flexibility there.....
Or go where you son is and have it done there? I know, I know, I don't know the situation so these are probably stupid suggestions but that anest. makes me nervous. Talk of arrogant a..hole.
I live on a wealthy island with high standards. Most of the Caribbean is closer to third world, where I am offers the best. Apart from that, the surgeon is a man I really trust, he's done four previous operations on me over the years and I've been very happy each time. I am going to take Miriam's advice, to the letter,
""Can you mention your fears to the nurse so she can keep an eye on him? Or your surgeon?"
Going to phone up tomorrow morning.
I love this group. I feel at home saying all this personal stuff. I don't anywhere else. You are all such nice people here.
Thanks Petra. I love this group too. And Miriam's advise is excellent.Petra, on another subject, I just installed Ghostery on your recommendation on the Feedback site. Question, every time I change pages a little box appears in the upper right hand corner of the page, purple, showing what it's doing.
Can this be removed do you know?
Cheers.
Right click it and uncheck 'bubble'. Tick the other two boxes, enable updating. I sorted things out with the nurse and the surgeon. I'm not having a general anaethetic now and the surgeon is confident that there won't be any problems with the anaethetist. So thank you for the advice.
I hope to be back online in a couple of days.
1. When in doubt read the directions :)2. WELL DONE. If you had not continued to complain, you would have had the general.
Prayer said for you :) See you soon.
See you soon Petra. I have been thinking about you and wishing you well.
Well wishes Petra!!!
Petra X wrote: "Right click it and uncheck 'bubble'. Tick the other two boxes, enable updating. I sorted things out with the nurse and the surgeon. I'm not having a general anaethetic now and the surgeon is conf..."
So glad to hear this has been resolved to your satisfaction. You're very lucky to have a surgeon you know personally and really trust. Hope all goes well and looking forward to hearing from you when you are on the mend.
I agree this group is wonderful and we're all lucky to have one another for support.
Cheryl S. wrote: "I agree this group is wonderful and we're all lucky to have one another for support. "I couldn't agree more!!!!
I've had a sort of bf for some months now and finished with him today. Too incompatible. What I regret the most is that he had a big garden and I was busy with planting evening-scented plants (for sitting on the deck at sunset) and planting vines to ramble through some of the trees that have a leafless phase. Also the oranges and star fruit are ready for picking, but not by me :-( I'm not going to miss him at all, but it was so nice having a garden I could do things with and not just fighting the rainforest bush (and losing). I'm an old lady so the chance of a bf might not come around again soon, let alone one with a big garden.
If I lived in a big country I could go to a dating site and specify male with large garden wanted!
LOL at Petra and her online quest. Sorry to hear that Petra. It's a bummer to lose a good garden.
I've occasionally wondered what I would do if I was widowed (assuming I survived, which is questionable). Short answer: Not much I guess.
Where my Mother lives there are 80 people, more or less. 4 single men (one of whom is certifiable, one of whom is mentally challenged in the extreme.)(All use walkers or scooters except one. He runs the local used bookstore and I think is gay.) A couple of married couples. All the rest, women. Statistics are against us.
(((hugs))) Petra!
Sorry to hear your relationship didn't work out. At least you were brave enough to try.Living in a small town like I do chances of meeting someone new and interesting are close to zero plus the fact I'm too old to care about having a BF and more. If I were to write a singles ad it would go something like: SWF seeks SWM who loves to garden and has a sense of humor.
Hum, that's an interesting thing to consider. If I were single (God forbid) and living where I do (small town in the middle of mid-America):SWF seeks SM: Must love cats, sports (football and NASCAR esp), gardening, reading, travel. Lively discussions and pleasant evenings by the fire a priority. Sense of humor a must. Age unimportant. No S/D/D.
What about the rest of you ?
Cheryl S. wrote: "Sorry to hear your relationship didn't work out. At least you were brave enough to try.Living in a small town like I do chances of meeting someone new and interesting are close to zero plus the ..."
Living on a small island they aren't close to zero, they ARE zero. Although to be truthful I have recently been propositioned by two men. I was having Sunday brunch with one of them in a relaxed sort of 'country club'. Another guy joined us and showed me the plans of a small apartment block he was going to buy and would 'give' me one. The other one then said about where he wanted me to travel with him. The interloper countered with the hotels in the UK he owned. I got up and went to the bar and saw the hotel man's daughter, a good friend. She said her father wanted her to ask me if he had any chance, and any chance of (small children around) 'it'. No, I said, not a hope for either of them.
The one I was with was 84, my friend's father, 90!
(The 84 year old was the one with the big garden, the 90 year old has his own island).
Now if they'd both been at least a generation or so younger....
LOL Petra. Sorry, I know it's frustrating, but still...I GUESS at least it means you aren't a hopeless hag or something (trying to find a positive here....). Mainly, LOL.
I have tried the online dating scene. E-harmony actually linked me with a lot of men I would have been compatible with, but they did not (or would not) want me. All professional men with the lifestyles to go with it, and my life working with folks with mental illnesses, and having one myself, would not mesh with their upper middle class lifestyles- different values, different needs.Some of the other sites I could NOT recommend. I had some weird experiences, including the guy who asked me to pick him up for our date. He did not drive due to a fixed knee after bone cancer. He answered the door stark naked. Not a pretty sight.
LOL Oh dear.... well, at least you didn't waste much time with him before you found out what he Really wanted (I guess).
MissJessie wrote: "LOL Oh dear.... well, at least you didn't waste much time with him before you found out what he Really wanted (I guess)."
The one with his own island I have known for half my life. He's still working - a cabaret artist among other things, but his children are my friends. He's just a dirty old man! The other one was expounding his racial views to me last week and about how countries with dictatorships are the best run ones. Since my kids are, more or less, black and I'm not a fascist, that was two bases he hit so I didn't think I'd hang around to see if he would score a hat trick when he got on to Jews, So that was that. But oh, how I mourn the loss of the garden
My friends at work in the ER used to tease me incessantly because it was always the DOMs who would come on to me. Somehow their gowns would get hiked up or they'd need help getting into or out of the pants etc, etc. If they only knew how immune medical people are to seeing people's private parts, or as one of our docs commented one day after being flashed by an old lady "it's like looking in ears to me", they wouldn't waste their time.
Cheryl S. wrote: "...flashed by an old lady ..."ROFLMAO. Desperation indeed!
I have often wondered how OB/GYNs ever have satisfactory marital relations, as it were. After looking up and feeling up, to be very crude, all day.....
Just another face in the crowd,Cheryl! LOL
All 'cats' look alike in the dark.But what about the doctors who get into trouble for molesting or having affairs with their patients? Perverts!
Petra, I don't like that second guy at all!
Petra X wrote: "All 'cats' look alike in the dark.But what about the doctors who get into trouble for molesting or having affairs with their patients? Perverts!"
They'd probably be perverts whether they were doctors or not or became doctors because they were perverts. I know it happens and it's completely disgusting just like the thing with priests.
If I ever were to become single again, I would stay that way so there would be no personal ad for me!
I've been single for so many years I can't even imagine consulting anyone else or making plans around another person after all this time.
I don't like being single at all. I mean I like all the benefits of doing what I like when I like but I am not the sort of woman who could go to a bar on her own and chat to people. (I don't like alcohol so that doesn't help). Having Asperger's I don't exactly have a social circle just a couple of friends and when I with someone I have some semblance of a social life. Part of the problem is living on a tiny island and the other part of the problem is my reluctance to look for anyone on line. But still... I am on my way to GABBS (book fair) in Boston and I live in hope!
I don't have much of a social circle either, maybe I have Aspergers.
LOL. Me too. But I worked for a man who had Aspergers, I am convinced, very very "high level" if you can understand what I mean. He viewed everyone and everything as existing only in his sphere; as they related to him. He never ever understood that he was a cog in the wheel.
He was a tenured professor at a prestigious university and was forced out, which should tell you something considering the AAUP and tenure and the difficulty of getting such people out.
My point Petra is that you certainly don't seem like him!!
I'm not like that! My area of difficulty is interpreting people's social nuances. I have to ask my son/my friend continually want people meant. I also don't pick up reliably on body language. I have learned some stuff but to be honest I know that I miss stuff but don't know what it is so I can't really learn it.
That would difficult to live with Petra; I am sure you have read the pertinent books on interpreting body language and so on. He just flat didn't give a damn -- he told me on more than one occasion that the people who worked for him should consider the lab their entire life and nothing and no one else should matter. And he meant it. I told him that my family came first, friends second, and work third. He was pissed but more important could not understand it.
Sad case him actually.
Anyway are you watching the Olympics? I am glued to the computer watching the live feeds of the things I am interested in. It's nice to be able to see more than the very poor coverage NBC is offering at night.
Miss Jessie, he might have had Narcissistic personality disorder, too. (I did not spell that right, I know.) People with that disorder feel that the world exists for their pleasure, don't view others as real except for how the other can help them.
A perfect description of him Miriam. Though he had many doctoral students and post docs, he did not think they should want to go out and get a job and indeed would not write a recommendation letter for anyone who wanted to leave. In the end, I wrote them and signed his name. He also operated on the theory that if he tore everyone else down, he would look bigger.
The man had a good intellect and good ideas but in the end lost all his funding because, mainly, all the people he had craPPd on when they were his underlings had long memories and paid him back with scathing reviews.
He once told me that he did not have time to be polite or nice to people, he was too busy and his work and ideas too important.
I said to him, are none of these people never going to be your peer reviewers, work at the NSF, etc? He was stunned by the concept that there could be retribution.
There was.
As far as I am aware, he has not a friend, a real friend he could drop in on or who would help him out, or family who would do the same, in the world.
Enough of him; he still brings back foul memories.
I hope all is going well with you Miriam. The weather here is still 90 degrees and no rain. Ugh.
I'm enjoying the Olympics too. Now that I'm retired I've been able to watch some of the day time stuff I've never seen before. My faves are gymnastics, swimming and track, My kids swam competitively for years so I can almost smell the chlorine when I watch those races. I'm a much bigger fan of the winter games, love watching the hockey and skiing. My all time fave sports memory is when the US won the gold in hockey under Minnesota coach Herb Brooks who tragically died in a car accident a few years ago. My hockey playing grandkids watch the movie "Miracle" over and over.
I am a sports nut generally, and love the Olympics. I have been watching the live streaming video; watched the all around gymnastics live. No commercials at all, very little inane commentary. There was a choice of watching every participant on a given apparatus or the more general coverage.It's so much better than the broadcast stuff; much more coverage of competitors, even on the "general" coverage.
I like to watch figure skating and hockey; and oddly enough curling. And skiing, esp. super downhill stuff. These people are crazy.
I still remember the Miracle on ice, what a night. We were screaming at the television.
And, FOOTBALL starts in a couple of weeks. Heaven.
Weather still high 90's and humid, absolutely putrid.
I am not much of a sports fan but I do enjoy the figure skating and gymnastics. Haven't watched much this year though. Just not thinking about looking for it.
MissJessie wrote: "I am a sports nut generally, and love the Olympics. I have been watching the live streaming video; watched the all around gymnastics live. No commercials at all, very little inane commentary. There..."We have pretty similar tastes in sports. My only addition would be golf. I can't play anymore but love watching the pros and marveling at what they can do. I've been a Minnesota Viking fan through thick and thin since the team came into being. I'm excited about this coming year as we have a young 2nd yr quarterback who shows promise and I enjoy watching a team build and come together.
I support the Colts given that I live in mid Indiana, but since Peyton is gone, I'm having a little problem.But in actual truth, all the years of my adult life I have been a Steeler's fan. Since the Bradshaw/MeanJoe Greene days, if that dates me enough!
I also really love College football; so colorful and just sees like football as it should be. I am an SEC fan, mainly because they play for keeps, an Ohio State fan due to geography and family connections.
MissJessie wrote: "I support the Colts given that I live in mid Indiana, but since Peyton is gone, I'm having a little problem.But in actual truth, all the years of my adult life I have been a Steeler's fan. Since ..."
I don't admit this to anyone in Minnesota, but I also root for the Packers. My family were Packer fans before the Vikings came into being and I've never been able to give them up completely. I think Aaron Rogers is the bomb. I have hopes our new young QB, Christian Ponder, will someday be as good.
One of my fave QBs is Terry Bradshaw from the good old Steeler days. I miss the old time football when the players played because they loved the game not because of the paycheck. I think modern football has a whole different flavor because of it.
Unfortunately the Minnesota Gophers have stunk for so many years it has been difficult to get excited about their games. I learned about football from my Dad listening to Gopher games while I laid on the floor under our old cabinet radio on Saturday afternoons. My dad loved football and had the patience to explain the game to a little kid who just wanted to know what all the excitement was about.
On Monday night, the 11th, I went to bed and Lily came too, as normal. She comes and goes throughout the night but is usually on the bed when I wake up. I couldn't find her that morning for hours. Later I called 'tuna water' and she came, slowly, lapped some and left. She looked a bit odd. She went out and I don't know where she went. She does this once in a while but not often. On Tuesday I went looking for her and found her hiding under my son's bed. Once I discovered her I started to pet her and there was a huge soft mass on the right-side of her neck. It didn't hurt her when I opened her mouth, so it was on the neck. It was swollen, like something you might get from a bite, but who knows? She went out but came back in the evening and I tried to catch her to take her to the Animal Shelter but she ran out the cat door.
Yesterday morning I went looking for her and she was in the bush. She came back and hid in the bedclothes and when I found her, moved. She then left and I haven't seen her since. She hasn't eaten since Monday and may not have had anything to drink either. I am so unbelievably worried and upset. I just don't know what to do. I know that she is in a lot of pain, I don't know if it is something that might get better or if she has gone away to die. I have looked everywhere this morning... I don't know what to think.
It sounds like a bite doesn't it? Or maybe a thorn. Can you put out her favorite food/water in a cat carrier? Maybe she'd come. If she does, a hot(warm) compress might help initially as you feel around for a thorn, bite, lump, whatever. If it's puss-filled, you could try gentle squeezing.
If she does come back, I'd hightail it to the vet quick. And of course watch him like a hawk.
These aren't very helpful I know. I am so sorry for your Lily and you. It breaks my heart to hear of her in pain, and you. Please keep us advised and I hope she comes back to you soon.
I have left the door to one of the utility rooms outside open and put out water and a pillow, but I don't think she was there. It is right opposite where she went into the bush so if she is in the same place she would see it.I have searched all her hiding places, but she does find new ones. It is breaking my heart absolutely.
Petra X wrote: "I have left the door to one of the utility rooms outside open and put out water and a pillow, but I don't think she was there. It is right opposite where she went into the bush so if she is in the ..."I so hope you find her, Petra. Hopefully she's just being a typical cat, they often just want to be alone when hurt. Was she staggering at all when you last saw her? I'm thinking venomous bite, so hope not...A trick, sprinkle some flour on the floor in areas she might enter. Then you'll at least know she's been around by the track of cat prints. May even lead you to her hiding place...
Sending prayers she will be okay and return to you soon Petra!
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The anaesthetist after my first C-section after 36 hours of labor, came to see me the next morning, to sell me..."
Stuff like that just makes me cringe.