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Rants / Debates (Serious) > How rude is it not to tip? >> the most disgusting thread in Goodreads.>> nurses win.

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message 1: by Brittomart (last edited Oct 22, 2010 12:16PM) (new)

Brittomart 'cause I don't tip. I know I should, but I don't. I mean, if I'm at a restaurant, then I tip, but for a delivery driver, I don't tip. And most of my friends don't tip either. When I first got to school, I tipped, but then I just stopped after my food was two hours later, and the guy still asked for a tip, and I was done after that.

My brother told me that when he was in California , and he was in these barracks with other guys, and he ordered some Domino's, and when the driver left, they freaked. And they were like, "Did you leave a tip? You have to make sure you leave a good tip" And that was the first time he'd ever seen anyone like, be adamant about tipping.

'cause I'll leave no tip in a heartbeat and won't think anything of it because that's what my parents did. And we didn't go to many restaurants where you had to leave a tip anyway. And I live in the country, and they don't deliver out here AND before that, when I lived in the trailer park, the domino's man was robbed so many times that they stopped coming out there too.

What's your rule on tipping?


message 2: by janine (last edited Oct 22, 2010 07:14AM) (new)

janine | 7715 comments i think it depends on where you're from and where you are. i never tip, except in restaurants.


message 3: by Lori (new)

Lori We order home delivery from the same select few restaurants, and I always tip - remember, the driver has to pay for his own gas. But I digress - when you tip believe me they remember, and every delivered order comes to us piping hot and fresh, they go out of their way for us.


message 4: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments that is how we do in my area. i am a good tipper in a restaurant but we generally do not tip every other service person. it is not common around here to do so. i have to remember when i travel that tipping is diff in diff places. i tipped once in china and the person returned it. in big cities everyone wants tipped. even if they do nothing for you. so i have to tip the guy who drives the shuttle at the airport and does not even handle my bags but stands by the door expectantly? i have a friend from the east coast who tips everyone. she gets a $300 haircut and gives a $50 tip. seriously. power to the tippers. i love ya. just not a regular deal in kokomo, IN


message 5: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments Oh Britt! You just HAVE to tip, especially in a restaurant. Servers make minimum wage! (I think I made less than minimum wage. Is that right? I feel like I made $2.13 an hour or something. It sometimes wasn't even enough to pay the taxes on the tips I claimed. Did I make that up? Could I have made half of minimum wage?)

You should ship tip food delivery persons as well, though I believe they make a bit more per hour. I used to work at Dominios and the drivers made like $5 an hour or something. I think it was minimum wage.

Here are my rules on tipping:
in restaurants: 20% or more. (astronomically more if the service was good.) 15% if the service sucked. I have trouble leaving less than 15% but I've done it in rare instances where the service was truly horrible. And I don't always leave the full 20% if the food was SUPER expensive and the bill is like over $200 or something.
delivery: 3$-5$ for a normal sized order. More if they have to make multiple trips or carry heavy stuff up flights of stairs or if the weather is shitty.


message 6: by Lori (new)

Lori We're supposed to tip the shuttle guys at the airport? Really?

I'm always confused about the haircuts. If they own their own business, I don't think it's necessary to tip.


message 7: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments And Kevin is right. Tipping is different in different places. I moved to Florida assuming I could make a living waiting table just like I'd done here. Not so. Got my first office job a couple months after moving there.


message 8: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments I always tip for hair cuts. And pedicures.


message 9: by Dan (new)

Dan (akagunslinger) Since most professions where tipping is customary are jobs I would never want, I tend to be a generous tipper unless the service is horrendous. I think it greases the wheels of karma and keeps me out of trouble. That and I like not having urine in my food.


message 10: by Lori (new)

Lori smetchie wrote: "And Kevin is right. Tipping is different in different places. I moved to Florida assuming I could make a living waiting table just like I'd done here. Not so. Got my first office job a couple month..."

Huh! I didn't know that! I guess it's because I've pretty much spent my adult life in 2 major metropolitan areas.


message 11: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 13815 comments In other countries I follow the custom.

Here, I definitely tip if I think it's appropriate.
Not appropriate: gas station attendants in states where full-service is mandatory.

Appropriate: hair stylist, shampooer
Delivery person - yes yes yes yes yes just a couple of bucks and appropriate to the level of service and timeliness but definitely something
Restaurants: Yes yes yes yes yes. Servers and bartenders make about $2 an hour. The rest is made up of tips. I do think it should be dependent on quality of service. I give 18-20% most of the time, 20%+ for outstanding service, fifteen for lackluster service, and ten percent if it was service that ruined my night. Even then I don't give nothing. Giving nothing implies I forgot or I'm a jerk. Giving a crappy tip sends a message.

I will tell you also that good tips absolutely get you better service if you go to the place/order from the place regularly.
We have a wealthy regular at our bar who routinely tips 100% or more. Why? He's a super nice guy and could get away with a regular tip and our bartenders would still be nice to him.
100% gets him everything he could ever want: If he says he wants a specific bartender, we make sure that's who is serving him. If he says he has a friend house-sitting and we should keep a running tab for the week, we do it. If he mentions it's his birthday coming up, we get him a cake. He gets free shots. He can change the radio station.

There's another guy who lives down the block. He comes in during happy hour, orders a beer at happy hour prices, and leaves maybe ten or fifteen cents, saying keep the change. Last week he asked if he could have a baked potato (something we don't have on the menu), and when we go out of the way to make him one, he complains that it doesn't come with sour cream. We don't keep sour cream, since we don't have baked potatoes on the menu! Needless to say, nobody wants to serve him when he comes in.

I would much rather be the person that servers smile at than the one they roll their eyes at.


message 12: by Lori (new)

Lori Yep to what Sarah said. Because we are friendly people who tip for delivery (this is at family restaurants so delivery person is part of the family too) we have no problem ordering things off the menu, our Chinese restaurant will sometimes even go to the nearby Asian grocery store for us to pick up a crab if they are out of it! And damn right we include that service in our tip.

It's all part of my philosophy - treat people well, and they'll treat you well too.


message 13: by Jim (new)

Jim | 6485 comments I always tip at restaurants, around 20%, I don't do it down to the penny, for haircuts, pizza delivery, and at the coffee shop. I'm sure there are more. When traveling, I tip anyone who handles our bags, but like at a hotel, I would just as soon carry my own bags, it just seems weird to me to pay someone to carry my bags as I go empty handed. I don't ever remember not leaving a tip, and when we went out to eat with one of my sister in laws, I used to make sure that I was the last one to leave the table, and made sure that I threw down a couple more dollars on their side of the table to cover their tip.


message 14: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) I would much rather be the person that servers smile at than the one they roll their eyes at.

Or spit in their food.


message 15: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 13815 comments Lori wrote: "I'm always confused about the haircuts. If they own their own business, I don't think it's necessary to tip."
I'll admit that one has me confused to. The lady who cuts my hair has gone from being a one-woman show to a larger operation, though she's still the owner. When I first started going there, she said no tips. Now the receptionist looks at me funny if I don't tip, and I once asked the receptionist outright, and she said "most people do."

Oh, do you tip at coffeeshops where there are cashiers but not waiters? Like where you're expected to wait for your drink, and bus your own table?


message 16: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia Paschen | 7137 comments I worked as a waitress (for something like $1 an hour) so yes, I tip. In a good restaurant, a portion of the server's tips will be given to dishwashers, buspeople, bartenders, cooks.

My recurring beef with my husband is over tipping the hotel maid. He doesn't leave enough money, in my opinion. If it is a nice hotel, I like to leave something like $5/night, a little more at the end of our stay, especially if they have done something extra.


message 17: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments see there is one that i don't get either. i spend much time in hotels and i am unsure about the level of tipping for the maid. in the first place, i am already paying for a nice room. i stay at nice places (hampton's, drury, etc) and expect the room to be clean and such for $139 (or more) per night. so if the maid does not get tipped does she do a inferior job cleaning? i realize that most of these maids are minimal wage type workers and i feel compassionate for them but i also sort of feel like this is double-dipping for what i already paid for


message 18: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments here the system is different. people don't depend on tips for their income, because they don't have too. that's why i only tip at restaurants with real waiters.

i used to work in a restaurant, but we didn't have waiters. people got their own food, we just cleaned the tables afterward. some people left tips, but they were so low a homeless person would be insulted if i gave it to them. i'd rather not get a tip.


message 19: by Lori (new)

Lori Cynthia = Richard NEVER tips the hotel maid either! I feel it's a reflection of how he thinks of me being the housewife at home, it's EXPECTED, doesn't realize all the work involved!

This is because he grew up in the 50s with a mother who even went beyond Donna Reed, in living only for cleaning and cooking. You'd think after 25+ years of living with me, he'd know I don't do that and demand he does his share! Inside he's still wistful.


message 20: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments also here is a comment i made to a manager at a restaurant while traveling after mediocre (at best) service:

"you might tell your servers that if they see a man eating alone (not being chauvinistic, just as an example) and seeming not to know anyone in the place he is probably traveling for business. in this case he is also probably on an expense account. and in my case i am a TERRIFIC tipper with someone else's money. just info you may pass on..."


message 21: by Gatorman (new)

Gatorman Watch the first ten minutes of "Reservoir Dogs" for the funniest discussion ever on tipping. It's classic.

I generally tip 20% to the wait staff unless the service is really bad in which case I will lower it. Also about 20% for haircutter. For others like valets or coat takers I will give a buck or two.


message 22: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i'll just add this twist into the mix: where i work there are several young guys who make just above minimum wage for labor type work. when a customer comes to have his truck loaded with the equipment that we sell usually it takes two guys to manually load heavy stuff into their truck. to my knowledge, these young guys have never been tipped by anyone. thoughts?


message 23: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments I tip the Christmas Tree guys. I tip anyone who helps me carry or load things.


message 24: by Harry (new)

Harry  (harry_harry) | 226 comments smetchie wrote: "Oh Britt! You just HAVE to tip, especially in a restaurant. Servers make minimum wage! (I think I made less than minimum wage. Is that right? I feel like I made $2.13 an hour or something. It somet..."

That is exactly right. $2.13 was the rate for servers...back then. 1/2 of the minimum wage.


message 25: by smetchie (last edited Oct 22, 2010 11:55AM) (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments Thanks. How fucked up that I couldn't tell you exactly how much I make now without looking it up but $2.13 is burned in my brain for eternity.
THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD TIP! It's burned in my brain because it's such an insanely small amount to make for an hour of work.


message 26: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments my point is that these guys are minimum wage earners the same as maids, shuttle drivers and others and yet no one considers tipping them because it is seen as "doing what they are already paid to do". trust me, i tip when appropriate and for an actual service but not because someone is just standing there waiting because i am supposed to


message 27: by Jim (new)

Jim | 6485 comments There is a difference between minimum wage earners, and a wait staff wage(where tips help to get the wage higher). I don't tip the kid at McDonalds who is making minimum wage because he does an exceptionally good job of bagging my food for me. I think a lot of it is the nature of the job.


message 28: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i get you jim but how is the shuttle bus driver diff from the mcdonalds kid? or how is the doorman diff from the kids who work here? if they get paid minimum wage to open the door for people than how is it they get tips when the girl who is the cashier at mcdonalds who doesn't? and for that matter if you run the cash register at starbucks you do but at wendy's you don't. not trying to stop tipping but when you think about it, it is odd how you justify who does and doesn't get a tip


message 29: by Mona (new)

Mona Garg (k1721m) | 350 comments I will tip shuttle drivers $1-2 if they actually help me load and unload. I don't tip housekeeping staff b/c I mostly have the privacy sign on my room door. The room doesn't get that dirty and, at the most, I'll need extra bath towels/toilet paper.

I can and prefer to handle my own luggage in hotels.

As far as restaurants, we rarely go. But I tip depending on the quality of service I receive. We recently had a bad experience in a restaurant. We were out of town and unfamiliar with the area. Our first choice was closed down so we ended up at this pizza place/sports bar. The place was so loud you couldn't hear yourself think. Our waiter couldn't care less and, after waiting for at least a half-hour, we asked what the hold-up was. He came back 10 min later and told us it's coming. When we finally got it, the waiter had gotten our order wrong. Also, we suspect(we were never told) that our pizza had been accidentally dropped and they had to make it again(while we were waiting, there was a loud sound of somebody dropping a tray). Needless to say, we gave him a lousy tip to make a point.

Does anyone tip movers?


message 30: by Mona (new)

Mona Garg (k1721m) | 350 comments Gatorman wrote: "Watch the first ten minutes of "Reservoir Dogs" for the funniest discussion ever on tipping. It's classic.

I generally tip 20% to the wait staff unless the service is really bad in which case I..."


Gatorman: I remember the scene well. You're right.


message 31: by Stacia (the 2010 club) (last edited Oct 22, 2010 01:37PM) (new)

Stacia (the 2010 club) (stacia_r) I agree about tipping just about anyone that works a job where part of their income is based on tips.

It's just the right thing to do. My mom was talking to a bus-girl at a buffet once and the poor girl made only a couple bucks an hour, but no one ever thinks to leave a tip at a buffet. I never did before that.

The only place that I rarely tip are establishments with tip jars. If I have change back from a cash transaction, I'll throw it in the jar, but since the person isn't actually "waiting on me" at a table, I don't find it necessary to tip.

Although, this changes as you go to other countries. We tried to leave a tip once at a restaurant in Japan and the waitress chased us down to give it back. Note to self : read up on tipping norms before traveling abroad the next time.


message 32: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i agree with you bun and i'm not trying to be a jackass but when people say they tip people who depend on the tips (not including the ones who make the $2-$3 and the tips are part of their total wages, more saying ones who make around min wage) i would counter by saying that there are lots of people in service industry who make the same amount of money but are not considered to be tipp-able (such as mcd cashier)


message 33: by Stacia (the 2010 club) (last edited Oct 22, 2010 02:07PM) (new)

Stacia (the 2010 club) (stacia_r) The only thing about "standard of service" is that often the people that work in the nicer establishments aren't as in need of the money as someone that's bringing you the pizza at the door. We talk to our delivery people (since we tend to see the same couple guys over and over), and in most cases, it's someone taking a second job to try to make ends meet.

On cruise ships, most people don't tip at the end of the week, and some people won't even go to the last dinner in the dining room so they can skip out on leaving a tip. What's sad, is those service people are often working for pennies on the hour and are trying to support families back home. One waiter we had on our first cruise was supporting a wife, children, and his elderly parents. When they're on the ship, most employees work 7 days a week and often work up to 15 hours a day. They only get a few weeks off per year. They live in cramped living quarters, usually less than a 10x10 sized room, sharing bunks with other employees.


It's just some food for thought.

I just figure that it's never a bad idea to make someone else's day. I'd rather be a blessing than a burden.

My husband sometimes goes overboard and gives our money away like it's going out of style, but I'd rather have him be that way than to be stingy.


message 34: by Mona (new)

Mona Garg (k1721m) | 350 comments Recently, in the same city as the lousy pizza restaurant, I ordered from Pizza Hut for delivery to my hotel room.

When the food arrived, I gave her a $3 tip which she seemed happy with. I asked if there were forks/plates included(I ordered pasta) and she said that those are not included unless the customer asks. I told her that I ordered online and there was not any step where I could add special notes/requests. She told me she'd be back with them. She was back within 10 minutes.


message 35: by Mona (new)

Mona Garg (k1721m) | 350 comments I guess b/c both my brother and hubby have been pizza delivery drivers in the past, I was somewhat biased.

She totally deserved her tip. She was polite and professional and didn't seem put out by my request.


message 36: by Rebecca (last edited Oct 22, 2010 06:51PM) (new)

Rebecca White (rebecca_white) | 1028 comments Yes, TIP!!! Jobs where tipping is customary don't get much base pay because of thatm as has been mentioned. Somebody further up was wondering if servers in restaurants make minimum - they don't. They make way less. About delivery people, I don't know, they may make minimum, but come on people!! It's a hard and sometimes risky job, and again, the assumption of tipping is built into their pay.

If I had my way I'd go with Miss Manners wish to undo the system of tipping all together, because as she says, it's elitist and subject to abuse. Their pay should be figured into the product. As for bad service, well, if any of us has an off day, making mistakes or feeling cranky, our pay doesn't get docked. Why should theirs? The understanding in every other job is that if you do the work, even poorly, you get paid. As my heroine Miss Manners says, tip and then complain to management if it's that big a problem.


message 37: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17346 comments Mod
Tip. I've lived most of my life in jobs dependent upon tipping.

I just gave my hairstylist today a 35 dollar tip.


message 38: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments on cruise ships they tell you how much to tip and you can pay them in advance which is sorta goofy but you get great services. i never got tipping the maitre de (is that even close to be spelled write?) on the cruise ship as he/she does nothing really since your table is assigned and you get the same one every nite.

i wish i had the money to be a great tipper all of the time to everyone. i would be like the gangster who just hands $20, $50 and $100's to everyone with a slick lo-key attitude


message 39: by Kate (new)

Kate (kateharper) | 206 comments When I go out for lunch or dinner, I usually tip 20%. If I'm out for breakfast I tip more. I've worked in food service and I know that breakfast servers often do much more of the work than lunch and dinner servers, making the toast, getting the fruit, dishing up the oatmeal with the cream, brown sugar, raisins, etc. and usually for people in a hurry. I much preferred working the dinner shift where the pace was slower and the cooks and bartenders did most of the work.
If I get bad service, I leave a small tip just to show I'm a tipper who wasn't happy.
And smetchie, I know what you mean. One of my early jobs in food service paid 17.5 cents per hour.


message 40: by Phoenix (new)

Phoenix (phoenixapb) | 1619 comments I'm a tipper, I always try to tip at least 18-25%. If the service was really good I'll tip even more, if the sevice was bad then I'll leave less...and if it was terrible I leave a few pennies. Fortunately I haven't run into too many terrible waitresses/waiters. I've waited tables and tips are a godsend!


message 41: by [deleted user] (new)

A reasonable tip in Australia is 10%. Tips are only given at restaurants.


message 42: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "on cruise ships they tell you how much to tip and you can pay them in advance which is sorta goofy but you get great services. i never got tipping the maitre de (is that even close to be spelled wr..."

try maître 'd


message 43: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments janine - i don't know how to make funky symbols (heck, i can barely use shift key)


message 44: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24357 comments Mod
In restaurants I tip 20% at dinner, 15% at lunch. Unless service is bad, then less. At airports, hotels, or on shuttles, $1 per suitcase. At hotels, I leave $3/day for the maid (and leave it each morning rather than all at the end because you don't know if the same person is cleaning your room every day). For haircuts, usually 20%. Taxis, usually 20% or a bit less. I never put money in the tip jar at Starbucks, or any other place with a tip jar.

The last time I moved, I had 3 movers and tipped each one $20. This is very subjective as every move is different. I was moving about 10 blocks and the move took maybe 2-3 hours.

What do we think, is it OK at restaurants to tip on the food/beverage amount only, subtracting the tax? I do feel kind of annoyed tipping on sales tax.

My father always tips 15% (it's his 20%) and I feel embarrassed and try to convince him that he needs to tip 20%. Then he gets insulted because he thinks I'm calling him ungenerous.


message 45: by Cambridge (new)

Cambridge (hsquare) | 509 comments Well since I am from Maine, a New Englander, I have learned that I must tip everyone according to Mr. Grande . . . I am in actuality an excellent tipper and believe that it is a must. There aren't any service people I want to screw over in my area with poor tippping. And actually just recently I realized I have been remiss in not tipping the groomer who shampoos and cares for my dog every few weeks. It never occured to me to tip the groomer until I was leaving recently and realized that it was the same gal everytime and they made a big deal over my pooch. A lightbulb went off and I was red faced. Having talked to many friends I received confirmation that of course you tip the groomer!

And yes, movers, delivery people, hair stylists, shampoo gals and anyone who helps you carry anything. Guess you are right Grande.


message 46: by Pat (new)

Pat (patb37) How about the mail carrier?
When we had a regular guy, I put out a christmas tip/gift. Now we seem to have a different person every few weeks, so I quit doing that.


message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

Barb wrote: "Oh yes, I tip our dog groomer too ... can't have little Reese coming home with un-even hair!"

Do Canadians tip everyone as well? I find the whole USA tipping thing scary. It's the thing that scares me most about visiting America, what happens if I get it wrong?


message 48: by RandomAnthony (last edited Oct 30, 2010 04:07AM) (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Yeah, Petra, what's the rule on the mail carrier thing? My scenario is similar to Pat's...we haven't had a regular carrier for years, since "Dale the Mail" worked, and he was a lazy dick, so I never tipped him.


message 49: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments Dale the mail is funny.


message 50: by Jim (new)

Jim | 6485 comments I wouldn't worry about getting it wrong Gail, were not always sure what were doing.


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