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The TMI Thread
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[deleted user]
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Mar 15, 2011 09:00PM
Gibber gibber gibber.
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What me to translate for you again, Gail?
You are a life save Alecia! I love you!
Sally, what Gail meant was that she thinks you're brave because she just realized you were the only queefer in your hot yoga class. She thought everyone there was sweating and queefing together, but she's glad you have someone to queef along with now. :DDid I do okay on the translation, Gail? Btw, I speak fluent gibberish.
Mod
A perfect translation Alecia. Thank you.:D
No problem, it's what I'm here for...well not entirely...but you meant what I knew right? ;P
It was all clear to me from the start...does that mean I am a gibberer?
A gibberator. A gibberatorium. A gibbermaster.
Amelia wrote: "It was all clear to me from the start...does that mean I am a gibberer?"
You’re welcome to join me in 'Gibberers Anonymous'.
You’re welcome to join me in 'Gibberers Anonymous'.
Mod
Is that a real word, or it like "mentoring" or "anorting"?
Remember that old TV show, Queef for a Day?
Queef Eye for the Straight Guy.Queef as Folk.
Queef Mary, she's my friend. Yes I believe I'll go see her again.[image error]
Phil wrote: "Queef Latifah."Love it.
Oooooog, why did I eat a handful of cinnamon jelly hearts on an empty stomach? Bad Jammies!
Hope your tummy feels better soon, Jammies.
Super duper fucking bummed.I felt kinda pretty one night because I was wearing what I thought to be a pretty short skirt. With my thighs, it's a short as a skirt can get 'cause you know. On Friday and Saturday nights here, girls dress in their skimpiest outfits and they go to clubs, and they dance and do whatever. One night in august, my friends dragged me out to a club, and I wore what I thought to be an outfit that could compete with the other girls and try to let me feel what it was like to be one of them for a few hours. And now looking at it...ugh. Ugh. Dammit. I'm tired of being an acquired taste or a fetish. Can't I appeal to the general public? Vicodin.
the general public is not worth your trouble.
Vicodin is not an answer to "Can't I appeal to the general public?"
janine wrote: "the general public is not worth your trouble."
Agreed, Janine. In fact, the "general public" is repulsive in most cases...
Agreed, Janine. In fact, the "general public" is repulsive in most cases...
The general public is overrated and often stupid.
Okay, yeah, I was a weirdo when I wrote that. I didn't take any vicodin, Sarah.Like, if a guy is attracted to me, they're like, "Oh, I like big girls." And I'm like, "Great for you!" 'cause it's like, "Okay? And?" Like, I'm put in this second-rate category. Give me a break.
And I know, that it's like, well, I should stop looking, but I'm not a passive person! I've never sat back and waited for anything, so I'm not gonna sit back and wait for this. Maybe that's why it's driving me nuts. And I won't be one of those people that will accept any ol' body. Like, I just can't. I tried. And I can't. If I don't like you, then I don't like you. Get the fuck out of my face. Like, I'm talking with this guy, and he wants to take me out, but he's just boring as hell, and I was telling him about some of this, and he's like, "well, I think you're really cute. I always have." And I just wanted to say, "I don't care because I don't want you." Like, 1) I'm not physically attracted to him, but usually I don't care about that as long as the guy is 2) interesting, smart, charming, blah blah blah none of which this guy is, and I'm at my wit's end 'cause I'm tired of uninteresting bland guys. Take that back, he is "smart."
So now, I guess it's not that no guys are attracted to me, it's just that right guys aren't attracted to me. Which for some reason is frustrating me more than having no one want me at all. 'cause then it was, "Oh, well, someone is going to want me, and I'm going to be better." And now like, guys are telling me I'm cute and stuff, and I don't want them, and for some reason I never considered that a possibility.
Maybe not a fetish, but it's definitely not a preference either. It feels like they treat fat girls with the kind of, "Meh, I'll take 'em" attitude. At least that's how it feels whenever I get the "Oh, I like big girls" line.Because it's just as easy to say, "Oh, I don't care about your size." But they don't say that. Because they do care.
So you're looking for a person who sees past size rather than somebody who prefers size. The latter isn't necessarily a fetish, like Barb said, but does imply that there is still something other than you - your mind, your heart - that is drawing him in. I don't think that's unreasonable. It may make that elusive special someone even more elusive, but such people are out there. Though I think it's harder to find a guy in that situation than a woman.
Out of curiosity, are they walking up to you and saying "Oh, I like big girls" totally unprovoked or are they walking up to you and you're saying, "I'm a big girl" and they respond with "I like big girls?"Also, if you feel/felt pretty in that fucking skirt, wear the fucker. Wear it again, wear it more, wear it every fucking day. So it's not short... fuck it.
How 'bout just finding someone that you connect with - intellectually, and have a good time with and that friendship grows into something else? Because, I have to say that having a guy grow to love you for who you are and find you attractive because of that love is WAY more secure and lasting that a guy who sees you across a crowded room and thinks to himself, "Mmmm, I'd like me a piece of that!" and then may or may not stick around.
Have you ever seen the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs? It's a modern rom-comy take on Cyrano de Bergerac. You should watch it. There's a bit where her and the guy are walking on the beach talking about "sparks" and "no sparks" people. Pay attention to that bit in particular...
Have you ever seen the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs? It's a modern rom-comy take on Cyrano de Bergerac. You should watch it. There's a bit where her and the guy are walking on the beach talking about "sparks" and "no sparks" people. Pay attention to that bit in particular...
Well, I'm not meeting them in person, so it's the latter, Amelia.Oh trust me, I want to connect with someone intellectually. But those guys put me in the friend zone very quickly. The friendship stays a friendship. 'cause as soon as I'm like, "Hey, I like you!" They're like, "Umm what? No, you're my type" aka you're ugly.
Amelia wrote: "How 'bout just finding someone that you connect with - intellectually, and have a good time with and that friendship grows into something else? Because, I have to say that having a guy grow to lo..."That's a good point. The guy you meet at a bar is not in a situation to judge your personality. The guy you meet at a school club or a volunteer opportunity gets to know you in a different way.
iBritt wrote: "Well, I'm not meeting them in person, so it's the latter, Amelia.Oh trust me, I want to connect with someone intellectually. But I get friend-zoned pretty fast. Very fast."
Okay... I am a younger old lady and my new motto is 30 is the new 50, so please bear with me.
How do these people know you are a big girl? Are you sending pictures or is it via webcam or what?
Pictures. But usually these pictures are of my face, so I'm like, "Hey, I'm huge by the way."
iBritt wrote: "Pictures. But usually these pictures are of my face, so I'm like, "Hey, I'm huge by the way.""Why are you saying that? You're setting them up to have to say, "It's okay, I like big girls."
Is that what I'm doing? I'm saying that because if we do become friends and then if something more happens from that, I don't want them to see like, a full body pic, and be like, "Um, you didn't tell me you were a fatty." Especially since I'm larger than most.
But that's just it... in my opinion, you don't have to tell them "you were a fatty". Just chat with them and let them see how fantastic you are before they have to make a comment on your body.
Oh, I have to tell them. I don't want to give them an unrealistic depiction of what I look like. I want them to know, like, straight up what they're getting into. So in case they have a problem with that, they don't have to waste my time.
iBritt wrote: "Oh trust me, I want to connect with someone intellectually. But those guys put me in the friend zone very quickly. The friendship stays a friendship. 'cause as soon as I'm like, "Hey, I like you!" They're like, "Umm what? No, you're my type" aka you're ugly."
First of all, "You're not my type" doesn't actually mean "you're ugly", at least not always. I did the whole eharmony thing once upon a dreadful time and when I told Phil the Pill he wasn't my type I didn't mean he was ugly AT ALL, he was really rather cute. It was the clingy, suffocating, over the top oppressive behavior that wasn't my type...but I digress.
The point is just to BE friends with a guy, best friends, enjoy that bit, revel in it...let him fall in love with the real you over time. Let him become attracted to YOU, even if he wasn't immediately attracted to you to begin with. And, you might try letting THEM make the first move now and again.
I don't remember ever telling a boy, "I like you!" out of the blue without them having kissed me or something...but then, I'm getting old and the mind starts to go, or so I am told.
Nothing is fool proof, Britt. I just try and tell you things that I think might help from my experience. That and I've always been the "fat one" of my friends; little stick-bug Barbies! That and being Greek I was also always a bit hairy with frizzy curls. Lets just say I've not had the greatest body image for most of my life and the older I get the fatter I get. When I left my first husband I envisioned all of his friends telling him, "She'll not do better than you, mate. Don't worry, she'll be sorry!" It only took him 3 weeks to replace me, 6 months to marry her and 9 months to have a kid on the way. Trust me, I'm not sure one could feel more crappy about themselves than I did at that point. But, in hind sight it was such a silly waste of time! I'm more than the some total of my physical attributes!! Sure, I'm a chubby girl, but I'm still cute and I'm damn funny too (when I wanna be) and clever at that (mostly and relatively speaking).
"Hey, I'm huge by the way." is really NOT the way to say it, even if it were true or relevant. I think maybe just letting them come to their own conclusions would be fine. If you're providing pictures of your face or any other part of you, they can assess for themselves whether they consider you "huge". "Huge" is a very subjective word, by the way, you don't even know what picture you are conveying! No, stop saying that RIGHT NOW! Pictures are sufficient honesty.
First of all, "You're not my type" doesn't actually mean "you're ugly", at least not always. I did the whole eharmony thing once upon a dreadful time and when I told Phil the Pill he wasn't my type I didn't mean he was ugly AT ALL, he was really rather cute. It was the clingy, suffocating, over the top oppressive behavior that wasn't my type...but I digress.
The point is just to BE friends with a guy, best friends, enjoy that bit, revel in it...let him fall in love with the real you over time. Let him become attracted to YOU, even if he wasn't immediately attracted to you to begin with. And, you might try letting THEM make the first move now and again.
I don't remember ever telling a boy, "I like you!" out of the blue without them having kissed me or something...but then, I'm getting old and the mind starts to go, or so I am told.
Nothing is fool proof, Britt. I just try and tell you things that I think might help from my experience. That and I've always been the "fat one" of my friends; little stick-bug Barbies! That and being Greek I was also always a bit hairy with frizzy curls. Lets just say I've not had the greatest body image for most of my life and the older I get the fatter I get. When I left my first husband I envisioned all of his friends telling him, "She'll not do better than you, mate. Don't worry, she'll be sorry!" It only took him 3 weeks to replace me, 6 months to marry her and 9 months to have a kid on the way. Trust me, I'm not sure one could feel more crappy about themselves than I did at that point. But, in hind sight it was such a silly waste of time! I'm more than the some total of my physical attributes!! Sure, I'm a chubby girl, but I'm still cute and I'm damn funny too (when I wanna be) and clever at that (mostly and relatively speaking).
"Hey, I'm huge by the way." is really NOT the way to say it, even if it were true or relevant. I think maybe just letting them come to their own conclusions would be fine. If you're providing pictures of your face or any other part of you, they can assess for themselves whether they consider you "huge". "Huge" is a very subjective word, by the way, you don't even know what picture you are conveying! No, stop saying that RIGHT NOW! Pictures are sufficient honesty.
Britt why are you so worried about them having a problem with your body? Don't worry about someone else's issues, worry about whether someone is interesting to you or worth your time. You are valuable.
No, no, no.... you don't have to tell them. You really don't. I think you can get a pretty good idea of someone's body size from a face picture. No one ever knows straight up what they're getting into. It could be that someone is heavier than anticipated or they have yellow teeth or maybe they're just a real asshole to animals or their sister. You don't have to disclose everything up front.
I am BEGGING you to hold off on the "I'm a big girl" disclaimer for ONE MONTH (to clarify, don't start any conversations with "I'm a big girl" for one month...- you don't have to wait a whole month to disclose this information, but dammit, don't give it away IMMEDIATELY) and just see what happens. And I could be wrong here, but if I am, the results won't be any different than they are now. What's that quote about insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?
iBritt wrote: "Oh, I have to tell them. I don't want to give them an unrealistic depiction of what I look like. I want them to know, like, straight up what they're getting into. So in case they have a problem wit..."
But, Britt, you are making it IMPOSSIBLE for them to do anything but fail! If they just want to be friends it's because you're fat. If they don't mind that you're a bit fat, you say they're weirdos. Don't you see it? A guy can just not care about weight. Trust me, I married one. His first wife was thin, so it's not like he's a "chubby chaser", but he never complains about my weight nor has gotten less interested in me since we married and I've gained about 25 lbs! He just loves me and doesn't care or see it as an issue. But, if a guy tells you he doesn't mind, he likes chubby girls just fine you automatically go, "WEIRDO!".
Sounds more like a defense mechanism, luv. Keeping EVERYONE at arms length, because then you can't really get hurt. Which is fine if that's the way you want to live your life, but you aught to stop bemoaning the fact if you're perpetuating it. Just sayin.
But, Britt, you are making it IMPOSSIBLE for them to do anything but fail! If they just want to be friends it's because you're fat. If they don't mind that you're a bit fat, you say they're weirdos. Don't you see it? A guy can just not care about weight. Trust me, I married one. His first wife was thin, so it's not like he's a "chubby chaser", but he never complains about my weight nor has gotten less interested in me since we married and I've gained about 25 lbs! He just loves me and doesn't care or see it as an issue. But, if a guy tells you he doesn't mind, he likes chubby girls just fine you automatically go, "WEIRDO!".
Sounds more like a defense mechanism, luv. Keeping EVERYONE at arms length, because then you can't really get hurt. Which is fine if that's the way you want to live your life, but you aught to stop bemoaning the fact if you're perpetuating it. Just sayin.
Yeah, if you don't tell them, you put them in a different boat. If you wait a while, like Kristina said, they get to know you and like you before confronting that question. You may make them think "OK, so she turns out to be big. Is this a dealbreaker? I like her so much. I've been having so much fun chatting with Britt I think it's worth exploring."
You don't need to be deceptive about it. You could even say "I don't send photos til I get to know somebody."
Britt, I want to say a few things to you but I'm afraid I'll offend you and that's not my intention at all. But I have a tendancy to very blunt and honest...some people don't like that. So I'm hoping this comes across as helpful and encouraging.First off, I think some of the problem is that you're already defensive when you meet someone. You're afraid to be rejected, so you reject them first...if I'm wrong feel free to say so.
Take a step back and a few deep breaths, really think about what's going on in your mind when you meet a guy you think you could like. Do you feel aprehensive?
Does your stomach flip? And not from attraction but something closer to dread?
Does that feeling make you angry?
Do you get just a bit louder and more animated?
Do you feel like you want their attention but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it so you lash out with harsh humor or perhaps outright disdain?
If none of that applies, please disreguard. If it does apply, you can now make a concious effort to change how you act and react.
And keep in mind that guys are just as afraid of rejection as you are.
Secondly, because of that defensivness, you may have a tendancy take things guys say wrong. A guy stating that he likes "big girls" (like Barb said), sometimes means he really does like big girls. Some guys don't want a little waif of a girl they're afraid to break, some guys really do like more "cushion for the pushin'".
Third...stop letting "society" dictate what "beautiful" is in your mind. I've seen your pictures and your video, you are a beautiful girl! Being big does not equal less than perfect. I'm a big girl myself, so I really do understand what you're going through. It took me many years to embace my overly curvaceous figure, so it's not like I expect you to be able to right away, I just want to encourage you to head in that direction.
And last...I'm posting some pics of plus sized models. These ladies are NOT societies idea of perfect and beautiful, but I dare anyone to tell me these women are not absolutely stunning...I will call them fucking liars.
Barb wrote: "Also:
When a guys says "I like big girls", maybe he's just saying "That's ok, I don't mind if you're bigger than average. I like you.""
Zzzzzactly, Barb!
When a guys says "I like big girls", maybe he's just saying "That's ok, I don't mind if you're bigger than average. I like you.""
Zzzzzactly, Barb!
