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The TMI Thread
message 501:
by
Sarah
(new)
Dec 02, 2010 09:35AM
I think either your friend is lying, or the guy is lying.
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Well, the guy said that he doesn't like having sex with virgins 'cause taking someone's virginity deals with a lot of emotions, and it's special and or something, and he's not looking for a relationship. so if he was dating a virgin and he was emotionally invested in her, he would fuck her, but not if he just wants to get laid.
Just to be clear, I've never asked this guy to have sex with me. He submitted this information of his own free will.I did say that since he doesn't like my virginity, we can do stuff that doesn't involve his penis entering my vagina, but he turned that down too 'cause he said that we're friends and that involves emotions, whatever the hell that means. Asshole, I want to suck your dick, not fall in love with you. Jerk.
Britt, are you sure the guy likes girls?I've never heard of a 20-year-old turning down sex and even less a blow job.
Or maybe it's me... I guess I've always found inconsiderate jerks in my life. :-/
Why not just procure the services of a male prostitute and be done with it? A quick half hour, your world turns to day-glo, then you move on.
No, he's not gay. I guess he just feels that we're really close and it would fuck up our relationship, but I don't understand how having sex with a non-virgin me would be okay for our friendship...but having sex with a virgin me would not be okay...this is why I don't fucks with boys 'cause they have stupid arbitrary rules for who they will and will not fuck, and I'm always in that will not category.
Boys follow the rules that best suit what they want to do in that particular moment. I think the correct word for that is "excuse". I'm sorry for being blunt.I've been turned down a few times in my life simply because the guy didn't like me or my boobs or my ass, either one. Period. The nice words around this fact are just sweet bullshit.
Another fact is that there are a lot of boys in the world and, like girls, they have different tastes. Luckily. What one doesn't like, another one will find attractive. It is just a matter of time, hang in there. I know what I'm talking about, I have been a virgin for a long time.
Barb wrote: "Britt-Britt wrote: "I want to suck your dick, not fall in love with you."
Britt, please don't devalue yourself like that. You're not a $5 hooker."
Kids say the darndest things.
Britt, please don't devalue yourself like that. You're not a $5 hooker."
Kids say the darndest things.
Barb wrote: "I'm not a kid ..."
I wasn't talking about you.
I wasn't talking about you.
But you are just a kid, Barb. I mean that as a compliment. You have a good 20 years on me.
Britt-Britt wrote: "No, he's not gay. I guess he just feels that we're really close and it would fuck up our relationship, but I don't understand how having sex with a non-virgin me would be okay for our friendship......"
You're overthinking it. It's not rocket science. If you're afraid, that's understandable. I was afraid my first time, too. I was all alone.
You're overthinking it. It's not rocket science. If you're afraid, that's understandable. I was afraid my first time, too. I was all alone.
Britt, sounds like the guy's making it up as he goes along. sex with some emotional connection is better than sex with no emotional connection. at least for me it did.
*radio edit*
I would love to wait until someone falls in love with me to have sex, but if I go that route, I will never have sex. I don't get to wait for love because who would love me.
Britt-Britt, if I have said it once, I have said it a hundred times - love yourself, be confident, and everything else will fall into place. You are sending out signals... whether through your body language or your self-depracating remarks. Believe me, and I am speaking from my own experiences, if you come on too strong it will intimidate. If you really want to have sex, just to have it, I say follow Clark's advice. Find some hot escort guy that might actually know his way around the block and get 'er done. Personally, I say you have kept your virginity for this long, why waste it on some dumb fuck (no pun intended). Maybe an older man would be the route for you to go. Someone who has some experience and can make it pleasurable for you, not just some wham bam thank you mam.
It's not about the sex. I like my virginity, actually. It's unique to me, and only I have MY virginity, and I can choose who I want to share that with.I know it feels like I'm not listening, and I feel like I'm just wallowing, but I'm glad that I have everyone here, especially you Petra, as a support system. I know it feels like I'm not listening, but I am really trying to develop a positive self-esteem. I really really want to have confidence in myself.
Somedays I wake up, look in the mirror, and I want to have dignity, and keep my head up high and believe that I'm worthy of being loved, and dress nice, and try to be fierce, and everything. Some days I feel good about myself.
Other days, like this past week, I've just felt like I will give my body to anyone who asks because I just want to be touched. I just want to know how it feels to be desired. I had that feeling once, but he took it away, and I just want it back.
days like that, put in a romantic movie, eat popcorn, and have the pity party. Then get your butt up and get on with life. Just think how lucky the person who comes into your life will be!
*edit*Actually, this might be a little TMI for the TMI thread.
See, there it is. The "this was an oops but I'm leaving the evidence behind" post.
You know I'm doing that on purpose, right?
I just had to give someone..some very disappointing news. But it's my body, and as much as I want to share it with him...not like that.also...something is very very wrong, and I can't wait to go to counseling in the morning.
I'm so damn glad you're going, Britt! We are all supporting you (((hugs)))
Breaking down.So my laptop battery is officially dead, and it can't be recharged. I went to start working on a paper that I should have already completed, but my computer just turned off, and then I plugged it up, and my computer said that the battery won't charge and needs to be replaced, and I'm freaking out. so glad I don't need my computer for a class 'cause I would be out of luck, but omg, a new battery costs 179 dollars, and it's Christmastime, we don't have that out of pocket. I'm hoping that I can buy one from the school, and then I can charge it to my bill and then my financial aid will pay for it, but I think that if I charge anything to my bill right now, then I'll have to pay for it next week, and we can't do that, and I am crying, and I can't calm down. I need to talk someone now, but there's no one to talk to because I've exhausted all of my resources and I am going to counseling in the morning, but this visit is just like a preliminary visit, and they're going to ask me a bunch of questions, but I need help now because I'm freaking out. I've done nothing all weekend, not out of laziness, but it's because I just don't care anymore. I don't care what happens to me, I don't care about my body, I don't care about anyone, I just want all of this to stop and go away. I'm tired of feeling like this anymore. OMG I have two papers due on tuesday, and I haven't started either one, and then I have finals breathe, oh my god, it's hard to breathe right now ohhhhhhhhhhhh
Hey Britt, are you by any chance still on those birth control pills?
Well, because when I was on birth control it really fucked with my emotions. And I mean really bad, like chase people down in my car and scream at them because I thought they drove like shit. Or telling gangbanger type guys to pull up their pants because it looks like they shit themselves...in downtown L.A. And those are some of the more stable things I did.So I was just thinking, maybe the birth control might be messing with your emotions some?
Just to clarify, I don't think you're doing anything crazy like I did...but after reading some of your posts, the emotional ups and downs are looking a tad bit familiar.
I was like this before the pills though.I am so itchy. Why the hell am I so itchy? I wasn't like this before my battery stopped working.
Ah, gotcha. It sounds like you're under quite a bit of stress right now though. I hope things get better for you and that you get a really kick ass councelor. I had a great one when I was younger, he helped me through some really rough times. Will you let us know how it goes tomorrow?
oh, definitely. I'm counting down the hours. Counseling center opens at 9. I'm waking up at 8.
Britt-Britt wrote: "oh, definitely. I'm counting down the hours. Counseling center opens at 9. I'm waking up at 8."good luck, britt. 1st step in process hardest. hugs.
Thanks, everyone. I am sitting in the office now, just finished filling out the paperwork.
This is one of those days where I just want to eat...and eat...and eat 'cause food will never call me ugly.
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My first visits to a new therapist are always full of me crying and jabbering away on their sofa.
My visit on Monday went well, but she told me to come back and start regular visits in January 'cause school is about to let out for the semester.Right now, I feel exactly like how I did last weekend, and it's crappy, I'm crying, and I'm sick of this bullshit, and I'm just....ugh
Okay, I'm so sick and tired of being my friends' grandmother.
I told one of my friends that I shouldn't have to get angry in order for shit to happen. and now it's that awkward thing where the parents have scolded the child, and now the parents want to move on, and the child's sitting all quiet and shit. UGH.
I'm feeling a lot of things right now. Like, a lot, and it's overwhelming. Hmmmm don't like this.
It sucks when friends choose you as their dumping ground. I like how the thread has been renamed Britt's thread.
I enjoy your posts, Britt. Hang in there. Big hug. Be yourself. In my case, I didn't start liking myself until I hit 30. Hope you don't have to wait that long to start enjoying life. My son has always had the gift of enjoying life right from the beginning. He got plenty of putdowns for not being serious enough. He's serious when he has to be but still loves life and enjoys every moment to the fullest. Always envied that ability. Hang in there. It will get better.
take a deep breath (see breathing thread). Finals next week and then home. one day at a time sweet Britt.
My best friend and her boyfriend used a box of 12 condoms in a week (a week where they saw each other for 4 nights, maybe). I already feel way behind the curve as it is, geez
probably in their excitement, they were unable to actually use half of those Britt!
They were making water balloons with them.
Condoms make the best water balloons.
